CHAPTER SIXTY-SIX

**OLIVER**
It’s been a few weeks since we returned to the pack. The past few weeks had felt like months…had felt like years. Like long, torturous years. The past few weeks had seen a strained relationship between Gabriel and I. Gabriel is angry, so angry that he now preferred to spend his days avoiding me, and his night sleeping on the couch in our living room. At night I could hear his soft snoring, and sometimes, his restlessness as he tossed and turned on the couch that I could swear was uncomfortable to sleep in. If he didn’t plan to be in the same vicinity as me, he slept in his office without as much as a notice of his whereabouts.
My mind randomly strayed to the incident at the house, and my hands balled into fists.
“What the fuck were you thinking?” I muttered to myself as the images of Gabriel’s distraught face, his bleeding palm, the lost expression on his face, and the pain in his eyes flashed through my memory like a sliding screen. I closed my eyes right, trying to dispel the images. They didn’t go. They stayed. They continued replaying, reminding me of how deeply and how badly I had hurt him.
A part of me knew I deserved this bizarre treatment, even as it slowly broke my spirit. I lay awake in our bed at night, thoughts swirling around my mind, grappling with the reality of it all. Another part of me wondered if we would ever emerge from this turmoil if this was the breaking point for us. Was this truly where our story ended?
I took a deep breath, trying to shake off the weight of those thoughts, and smiled to myself as I gazed at the small feast I had prepared on our modest dining table. The sweet aroma of rice, stew, lamb chops, chicken, and lasagna filled the air, a carefully curated spread of all his favorite foods gathered together in one place. Taking a few steps back, I admired my handiwork, a sense of satisfaction washing over me. This meal was more than just food; it was a symbol of hope, a way to bridge the gap that had grown between us. Maybe, just maybe, it could remind him of the love we still shared, even amid the chaos.
My breath caught in my throat as I heard our bedroom door open and close, signifying that he was done with bathing and was ready to leave for the day. A warm smile spread across my lips as he stepped into the kitchen, the rosy scent of his body wash, and his hair still damp from his shower. His eyes ran the length and depth of the table, and I smiled to myself as I saw his Adam’s apple bob. Truly, I had outdone myself.
I watched Gabriel as he moved around the room, doing a fine job of ignoring my existence and swallowing the disappointment I felt, and hating the bitter aftertaste it left in my mouth.
“You are awake!” I stated in a weak attempt to encourage conversation, but the mean look I was thrown told me that my target had missed its mark.
I looked at Gabriel, truly looking at him. He had let his hair overgrow and now fell across his shoulders in a curly mess. His beard a thick brown mass hanging off his chin. His eyes, void of life…sunken, were a clear sign that he hadn’t been sleeping well. He looked disheveled and lost, and it broke my heart into pieces.
He picked up his keys, and without sparing me a second glance, headed for the door. I watched as he turned the handle to open the door, and the door didn’t budge. He tried a few more times before realizing that the door was locked. He slowly turned to me, his eyes blazing with anger that was still new to me.
“Where is the key?” He asked gruffly.
“Umm…no…we need to talk.”
“There’s nothing to talk about,” he replied. “Where is the fucking key?!”
I ignored his question. “I’m sorry about what happened back in your mother’s hometown, Gabriel,” I said. “Please, just listen to me! I promise that I didn’t mean it.”
Gabriel threw back his head and laughed hysterically and yet devoid of amusement. “Of course, you did. You meant every word.”
He turns to the door and tries the handle again, furtively shaking the door that for a second I thought he was going to rip right off the hinges. And with one last pull, he stopped, his breath coming in hard pants from the exhaustion.
“Please…I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings…”
“But you did anyway, so where does that leave us?!”
I opened my mouth to speak but words refused to come out. The words are heavy and weighed down on my chest. What do I say to him? Where do I begin? How do I begin? At that moment, I realized that I had let my secrets pile up, so much so that I feared I might never be able to tell it.
“Please, Gabriel. I’m sorry…I just want to talk about everything.”
Even as the words flowed from my mouth, I realized that I was starting to sound like a broken record, repeating the same lines over and over and over again with no result. Gabriel was angry, he was hurt, understandably so, and I hated more than anything that I was unable to reach him.
“I said there’s nothing to talk about, are you fixing deaf?!” He asked, fixing me with a death glare, his nose flaring and his eyes squinting into slits.
I was visibly taken aback by his outbursts, and for a few seconds, I was at a loss for words and didn’t know what next to do…or say that wasn’t an apology. Standing there and seeing firsthand what I had caused had broken me in a way that I knew would never be fixed. And maybe it was for a good thing. After all, scars on the heart are solid reminders of things that should never repeat themselves.
I blinked back the tears and cleared my throat, refusing to be put off. “Well, I won’t open the door until you listen to what I have to say,” I stated firmly, saying a short prayer in my mind that it worked.
And it did.
Gabriel strode across the room and sunk himself into a seat at the small, round dining table. I sighed in relief and served him a plate before lowering myself into my seat. His eyes held mine as I ate, ill-concealed anger and hurt warring for dominance with no victor.
“I miss how we were before…”
Gabriel scoffed and shoved a spoonful of food into his mouth. “Then you should have thought about that before…”
His eyes held mine, telling me everything his mouth didn’t. I looked away, refusing to admit more hurt into my being.
I nodded slowly, digesting his words. “I know,” I said solemnly. “I just want to spend the morning with you.”
Gabriel murmured under his breath and looked away, the food in front of him running cold, just like his heart, forgotten. I looked down at my plate as I continued to eat, the food tasting like sand in my mouth, and very aware of his eyes digging holes into my head. I risked a glance at him and sighed heavily. This was going to be harder than I had initially thought.
“Did you call me here to eat or talk?” He asked angrily. “I don’t have time for this.”
I shrugged. “It’s both,” I answered and shoved a spoonful of food into my mouth. “You look rather thin. You should eat.”
He didn’t. Instead, he continued to stare angrily at me, like an evil spirit.
“Get on with it or open the door.”
I nodded. “About that day…”
Gabriel’s ears perked up and he sat up in his chair, staring at me expectantly, waiting for me to give him the proper explanation I owed him. And yet, I couldn’t. I opened my mouth to speak, and yet again, words failed me. As though a heavy object was stuck in my throat. Tears gathered in my eyes as Gabriel sighed in resignation and leaned back in his chair, disappointment written all over his beautiful features.
I open my mouth to try again, wracking my brain for the appropriate words to tell the story, and also wondering what and how to tell him. I risked a glance at him,!-‘s for the first time, I was forced to admit to myself that I was afraid of losing Gabriel. I wouldn’t know how to do life without him.
Gabriel chuckled, but his voice was devoid of any amusement, a harsh sound that only fueled the tension between us. He pushed back his chair with a force that made it scrape loudly against the floor, and as he stood to his feet, he towered over me, an imposing figure filled with unbridled anger. His eyes, usually warm and inviting, were now cold and piercing, searching mine for answers I wasn’t sure I had.

The air around us felt thick with unspoken words, and I could feel my heart racing in response to his fury. Every muscle in my body tensed as I tried to gauge what was coming next. I wanted to defend myself, to explain the situation, but the weight of his gaze made it difficult to form the words. Instead, I stood my ground, swallowing my fear and preparing for the confrontation I knew was inevitable.
“I don’t know what you want me to do, Oliver,” he said. “I don’t know. You love keeping secrets from me.”
“Gabriel, it’s not…”
“And even now, you cannot bring yourself to be honest with me, to just tell me what happened.”
“Please—“
“Why do you always feel the need to lie to me?!”
“Gabriel—“
“Open the door now. I want to leave,” he said, finality in his tone.
“No…”
Gabriel turned and headed for the door, and I watched in shock and disbelief as he took the door by the handle and began to shake it violently, letting out his anger on the poor, inanimate object.
“What are you doing?!”
He didn’t respond; instead, he shook it harder, his frustration palpable, until the handle finally came off in his grip. Disgust and hatred contorted his features as he tossed it aside, and with a single, powerful kick, the door splintered under the force of his foot. I gasped, the sound escaping me as I watched helplessly, my heart racing, while he strode out into the night like a storm.
I sat there frozen, my gaze fixed on my plate, the reality of the situation settling in around me. I was vaguely aware of the salt from my tears falling onto my meal, mixing with the food I had so lovingly prepared. At that moment, clarity hit me like a wave, and I realized we were done. This was it. The thought shattered my heart, leaving a hollow ache in its place. I couldn’t bear to think about it, yet it loomed over me, a dark cloud that threatened to swallow everything I had once held dear. I watched him stride away, wondering to myself what his actual forgiveness was.