Chapter Seventy-five

**OLIVER**
I had spent the better part of the last few days away from the house…away from Carrie, and so far it had been nothing short of exhausting. The last few days had felt like months, the days were drawn out, and the nights were cold and restless. I missed him. I missed him terribly, and with each day that went by, I tried to understand completely why he would leave, and when he would come back. Every day, I woke up in the morning and picked up the phone determined to call him, determined to apologize, and let him know how sorry I was, determined to beg him to come back to me. To come back and let us put all the drama behind us. And each time, I stopped myself from doing it.
Regardless of how I felt, he had done this purposely. He had wanted to hurt me, he had paid no attention to my feelings, and so, there was nothing to talk about.
I breathed a heavy sigh of relief as I stepped through the front door and realized that Carrie wasn’t home. I chuckled mirthlessly to myself. Home. That’s what it had become for me. I, Gabriel, and dearest Carrie. I dropped my large bag containing painting supplies at the door and lay down on the sofa in the living room, exhausted from the day’s activities. I stared up at the fan, watching as the blades spun, and wondering why life couldn’t be as easy as that.
Carrie had begun dressing more provocatively, her clothes almost nonexistent, the scent of her perfume moving from a milf vanilla scent to a bold, sultry one that commanded my senses whenever she was in the house. A scent that seemed to draw me in…command my attention. Her change in style fascinated, irritated me and aroused me all in one, and even as I lay there, I readjusted myself as blood flowed south at the thought of her in her silk nightwear.
In the back of my head, I could feel her. The goddess. She was pushing and prodding. Pushing me to fulfill her wishes with the one she had chosen, and prodding me to give her a child. I could feel her every time I saw Carrie, I could feel her compelling me, forcing me to be more aware of her, of the way her hips swayed when she walked, of the way words rolled off her tongue as she spoke, of the way her eyes turned sultry whenever she saw me.
I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, wondering to myself when the whole fiasco would be over and when I would be free to live in my own space with my love. Away from distractions…away from Carrie. I allowed myself to think of a time in the future when everything was perfect. When I and Gabriel would walk hand in hand down a street, when we would make love in a garden filled with flowers, when he lay still and be my muse, and we would laugh and make merry. A time when things were going to be simple, easy, uncomplicated.
I soon drifted off to sleep, my breathing even, and a small smile on my face. My eyes rested, and so did my wandering mind. I was lost in my world, a world that I had built in the clouds, a world where Carrie and the goddess didn’t exist and everything went according to how I wanted it to.
However, with all good things, they don’t last long.
I gasped and jumped awake as I felt soft hands and slender fingers roaming the length of my frame. At first, I moaned as I felt a pair of familiar hands massage my face, trail a path down my chest, and begin to massage the tense muscles in my shoulder. I sighed heavily as I felt body weight on my nether regions.
My eyes fluttered open to see Carrie atop me, her hips rolling sensually. My eyes and brain were foggy with sleep and my hands moved instinctively to her waist, holding her to me as she rolled her hips faster and began to moan. My eyes found the ceiling fan again and followed the blades, and soon my brain was jerked awake.
This wasn’t a dream. This was reality. Carrie was straddling me, and my hands were on her waist hiding her from me.
I swore loudly and bucked my hood, effectively throwing her off of me. I watched as she landed on the floor, gaining a little satisfaction in the yelp she had let out as she fell and then scrambled to her feet. I sat up on the couch, and swore under my breath, as I readjusted myself in my pants. She must know the effect she had on me, I was determined she didn’t see any evidence.
Carrie chuckled. “For a second, I thought you missed me,” she said as she readjusted her clothing.
I said nothing. I had a lot of things to say to her, I opened my mouth to speak, and words failed me. I sighed heavily and rose to my feet, deciding that anywhere was better as long as Carrie wasn’t there. The same decision that had carried me since Gabriel left.
“How long do you plan to resist me?” She asked, her voice sultry and laced with amusement.
I ignored her teasing questions and picked up my bag, angrily shoving the art supplies that had spilled out back into it. Angry at the inanimate objects for having the audacity to be uncooperative in this critical moment. I threw the bag over my shoulder and headed for our bedroom.
“Are you holding out for Gabriel?” She asked teasingly. “You must be worried sick waiting for him to come back and give you attention…” she drawled.
Something about her voice, about the way she framed her sentences forced me to remain rooted to the same spot at the bottom of the stairs, subjecting myself to be tortured by her words.
“Surely, you must know that Gabriel has fallen out of love with you…”
“That’s a lie,” I replied firmly, even though the thought had rooted itself in my heart long ago.
“But it’s the truth. You know it’s the truth,” she continued. “He doesn’t understand you, Oliver. He has never tried to understand you.”
“You should shut the fuck up!” I screamed, frustrated with all her cunning and dubiousness. “You were the one who chased him away, Carrie! You caused this! You made him leave!”
Carrie seemed taken aback, and she raised her hand to her chest, her eyes opened wide in shock. “Was that what he said? Oh, I never made Gabriel do anything, Oliver. Gabriel made his decision.”
“You didn’t tell him to go away? That we needed ‘space’?”
Carrie rolled her eyes. “Yes, Oliver, I told him that, but that wasn’t the reason he left. He left because he doesn’t understand you…he doesn’t understand your wants, your needs…”
I felt her come up behind me, her voice smooth like butter, and her hands running up and down my back.
“And I’m guessing you do?” I asked.
“Yes, Oliver. I understand you better than anyone ever could…more than anyone ever will…”
I shook my head. “You’re a crazy bitch, Carrie. And I need you to stay as far away from me as possible.”
And with those final party words, I ran up the stairs to my bedroom, the room I shared with Gabriel, the room that now felt like a ghost town. A room that now felt like a strange planet.
I slammed my door closed, making sure to lock the door, and slid down the door to the floor, pushing my bag to the side. I sat there, thinking of my life choices and how they had brought me here. As I sat on the floor, I thought to myself the worst that could happen should I succumb to the goddess’ wish for me. What if I did what she asked? What if I slept with Carrie, and she conceived?
But then who is to care for the child? Who is to nurture her? Am I to be a father? How would Gabriel take the news?
I scoffed as he came to mind for the umpteenth time that day. He would probably run to someplace I don’t know, and not talk to me for days on end.
I wondered what would happen to Carrie afterward. I wondered if she was being pushed by the goddess, if she was aware, or if she was just in lust with me. I wondered what she would gain by wanting to destroy my relationship with Gabriel, and her relationship with her cousin. I wondered if my life would have been much different had I just gotten rid of the goddess when I had the chance, maybe I wouldn’t be suffering from her whims. Maybe I would be free and in love with Gabriel.
Too many maybes. Too many what-ifs.
I groaned and held my head in my hands, a vein beginning to throb across my forehead at the incessant thinking. I took a deep breath, and crawled into bed, missing Gabriel as soon as I pulled the covers over myself. I closed my eyes, forced my mind to dismiss all thoughts, and forced myself to find much-needed sleep.