CHAPTER SIXTY-EIGHT

**OLIVER**
Everything was finally starting to fall into place. Gabriel had come back to bed, and though he still pulled away when I reached for him, the distance between us didn’t feel as sharp as it had on the trip. The tension lingered, a faint reminder of everything we’d been through, but it no longer felt insurmountable. With Carrie out of the picture, gone and forgotten—the weight on our relationship had lifted. Things felt…almost normal again. For the first time in a long while, a quiet sense of rightness settled over me, as if the world was finally aligning in our favor.
I could feel her. I didn’t need to open my eyes to know that she was there, standing in my room. I swore as I opened my eyes, and immediately looked at Gabriel was sleeping peacefully next to me and snoring lightly. She stood in the corner of my room, in the darkness, and even though I couldn’t see her, her blue eyes shone through the darkness, fixed on me.
I could feel her gaze on me. Angry, burning a hole into the side of my head. I subbed my eyes and sat up on my bed, looking at the moonlight that streamed in from the window. I didn’t need to see her face to feel her anger, it radiated across the room. I smile widely, something about her anger healed something inside me, made me whole…made me happy.
I sighed heavily, and sat up on the bed, propping my back against the headrest. “To what do I owe the honor?” I asked.
She chuckled, her eyes crinkling in the darkness. “What do you think you’re doing?” She asked, her voice carrying a grace undertone.
I shrugged, somewhat confused by the question. “What do you mean?”
Her eyes shone even brighter, her anger reflected in them. I swore loudly as the room began to shake violently, knocking pictures and paintings off the walls, and vases to the ground. I immediately looked over at Gabriel and he remained asleep, very peacefully.
“Do not play coy with me, child,” she said. “Why are you back here when you haven’t completed the assignment I had given to you?!”
“I don’t want to fuck Carrie,” I replied. “Matter of fact, I don’t want to fuck anybody. Find another candidate and leave me alone.”
“You ungrateful rat,” she said, her voice gruff as her temper rose. “You would be dead if not for me!”
At that moment, I realized that I could never decide if she was a benevolent being or not. Several times, she had saved my life, and several times she had demanded my blood for her sacrifice.
I nodded slowly, “You’re right, and I thank you for doing so.”
She scoffed and stepped into the light, the moonlight shone on her, illuminating her beautiful face, and showing me the pure anger written on her face that was hidden in the darkness.
“Your measly thanks isn’t enough, child!” She said. “I need you to show your gratitude.”
I scoffed. “Other gods ask for animal sacrifices, trinkets, maybe even a human sacrifice,” I said. “But you want me to…”
The words trailed off, and even now, it felt heavy in the mouth. The mere thought of this…fucking Carrie was preposterous, and the idea that she wanted a child she would reincarnate into was even more bizarre. She stood there, staring down at me, her gaze on Cassio all flitting to Gabriel sleeping in the corner. I felt the hairs at the back of my neck rise and I protectively threw a hand over him.
“He’s not part of this,” I said.
She cocked a brow as she fixed her gaze on Gabriel. “He’s the reason for all this, isn’t he?” She asked, each word laced with venom.
“Stop. He’s not part of this,” I said again
A slow smile spread across her lips, and her eyes flitted over to me, mischief dancing in her blue eyes. “If he’s no longer here…”
“I will kill myself, and you don’t get your child.”
She cocked her head to the side. “Hmm…I see…”
I doubted she did. I had come to learn that she was cunning, and fear took hold in a small part of me. I would hate for Gabriel to suffer for something he had no idea about.
“I never chose this!” I said, growing increasingly frustrated at the situation. “You chose this. This is your fault. You chose an unwilling servant.”
Her smile dropped, and air whooshed out of my lungs, her eyes held mine as I struggled for air. My eyes watered, and through hazed eyes, I watched as she moved closer to me, the more she closed the gap, the more breathless I became. She stood by my side, her image blocking the moonlight, and leaned down until her lips could touch my ear.
“You would watch yourself, you insolent rat,” she said, her voice only serving to make me more breathless. “In all the seven seas, I am the strongest of all gods and goddesses. I have killed people for much less than your disobedience and insubordination.”
She moved away from me, and my lungs finally began to function. I opened my mouth and gulped in mouthfuls of air, my hands shook in fear, shivers ran down my spine, and goosebumps decorated my skin. A cold sweat broke out on my forehead, rolling down my brow and into my eyes.
At that moment, I realized that I had only ever seen her temper directed at other people, manifested in situations that never involved me.
“I have a question…”
She walked over to the window and looked out at the peaceful, sleeping neighborhood. “What is it?”
“Why is returning as a human so important to you?” She asked.
She turned to me sharply, her eyes radiating the same anger that made me move further into my bed. “That’s not your business,” she said. “Your business is to follow my command to the letter. You’re not doing it very well. You’re going to give me a child…a daughter.”
I nodded slowly. “And what happens if it isn’t a girl?”
She threw back her head and laughed. “It’s going to be. You don’t need to worry about that.”
A mischievous smile spread across her lips, the set of her shoulders and the way her shin shot up told me all I needed to know. She was sure that this was all going to go her way. She would get her child, she would reincarnate, and there was no one to stop her.
Except…me.
I was at the mercy of the river goddess, a being of stunning beauty and sharp intellect who stood among the most powerful of deities. Her presence was both awe-inspiring and intimidating, making me feel like nothing more than an annoyance at her feet. I was painfully aware that, like a pesky roach, I could be crushed without a moment’s hesitation. It was only because I held some sort of significance in her grand scheme that I was still here. For now, I remained a pawn in her intricate game, kept alive to serve her mysterious purposes, but I knew that could change in an instant. The thought sent shivers down my spine, reminding me of just how precarious my situation truly was.
My thoughts drifted back to Carrie and the chaos she had brought into our lives. I couldn’t shake the feeling that if her plan fell through, it would hurt Gabriel irrevocably. I knew how deeply he cared, and how vulnerable he could be when it came to matters of the heart. The thought of him experiencing that kind of pain was unbearable. I had seen the flicker of light in his eyes dim during our struggles, and I feared that if Carrie succeeded in her machinations, it would extinguish that light altogether. The realization hit me hard, our relationship was already fragile, and the last thing I wanted was to contribute to his suffering.
“Couldn’t you pick someone else?” I asked in a timid voice, my body still bearing a reminder of what happened when she got angry.
A slow smile spread across her lips and she turned to face me. “Yes,” she replied. “It must be her. That is your punishment.”
My heart falls. I take a deep breath and slowly exhale, I slowly slide back under the covers, feeling the effects of fatigue begin to overtake me. I guess that’s what happens when you bond with a goddess who could decide to use you for whatever she wants, at any time of the day. I closed my eyes, still very aware of her eyes on me, studying me, scrutinizing me, plotting.
“You must think I hate you,” she said, her voice soft and comforting.
“You don’t?” I asked.
She chuckled. “If I hated you; you would be dead.”
“This isn’t worse than death?”
The pain I had seen in Gabriel’s eyes back at his hometown, the pain I had heard in his voice, the anger I had seen in his eyes, they were worse than death. The fact that I had been responsible for such hurt, such pain, hunted me whenever I closed my eyes. One thing I knew for certain, I would rather die than be responsible for such hurt and pain ever again.
“No, you won’t,” she said.
“What?”
She chuckled. “You won’t kill yourself.”
I groaned. For a second, I had forgotten that we were bound together.
“I will not fuck Carrie,” I said.
She didn’t reply, father she threw back her head and laughed….and just like she arrived, she was gone. I sighed in relief when I could no longer feel her presence, and I dragged air into my lungs.
Her laughter had made me more uneasy than I would have liked. Unsettled my soul. It told me all I needed to know…something I already knew. She would get what she wanted.
I nestled closer to Gabriel, resting my head on his chest and listening to the steady, peaceful rhythm of his heartbeat. It was a sound that eased the storm inside me, yet a small part of me remained restless, haunted by the river goddess’s threat. The thought of losing Gabriel lingered in the back of my mind, like a shadow I couldn’t fully shake. I took a deep breath, willing myself to let it go, to believe he would be here with me—alive, safe, untouchable.
I closed my eyes, letting his warmth seep into me, grounding me in the present. Slowly, the weight of my fears faded, replaced by the comfort of his heartbeat beneath me. At that moment, I chose to focus on nothing but this —Gabriel’s steady breathing, his warmth, his presence. Letting that peace wash over me, I drifted into sleep, holding on to the hope that this would be enough to keep us safe.