Chapter 40

***Alex’s P.O.V***

We all headed back inside before too many people notice that the 4 of us had disappeared together. Usually, that wasn’t a problem; however, right now, we didn’t want Clark getting suspicious. I couldn’t figure out what name to address him.

Matt and Ash excused themselves to find their mates while dad and I made our way into the kitchen for breakfast. Matt was worried about Natalie. If Erik was out there, Natalie was a walking talking target.

Nicholas had brought his beta, Noah and 8 of his warriors with him. When I had asked him to come over, he had said he was bringing back up with him just in case shit went sideways. Noah and I had met a few times during our council meetings. He was the definition of what a gentleman was meant to be. Unlike all these other man whores I knew, Noah respected women, unlike his almighty Alpha.

They were all seated at our usual table with their plates filled with food. Typical male wolves. I grabbed a plate and filled it with some food. Annie quickly poured me a cup of coffee and handed it to me. I smiled at her and headed for the table.

Noah was the first to notice me approach the table. He was sitting next to Nicholas, who was currently staring at his phone. Nicholas had changed out of his suit and into a polo t-shirt and jeans. Noah tapped the warrior next to him and motioned him to move over. They all moved, and Noah emptied his seat for me to take. I raised my eyebrow at him, and he gave me a big grin, holding the chair out for me.

“Queen Danton, why don’t you sit here? Alpha Nicholas would love some company.” Noah was trying to hold in a laugh. He knew the banter we had.

“Thank you, Noah, that’s very sweet of you. However, I think his phone is giving him all the company he needs. What do you think, Nicholas?” I put my plate on the table and sat down.

“Huh?” Nicholas looked up from his phone and blinked a few times, taking in what was happening.

“Oh, hello there. I was wondering where you had disappeared too. Avoiding me already? Don’t worry, you can tell your dad I won’t violate his daughter on this trip even though I so badly want too” he chuckled, putting his phone away.

That hit a nerve. Violating me...

I didn’t know what to say. I knew Nicholas was joking, but I already felt so shit and couldn’t help but be offended by what he said. I put my head down and started eating. The last thing I wanted was an argument between Nicholas and me. He had come all this way specifically to help me and didn’t know the extent of the situation. I had told him some stuff, but not all of it.

He must have noticed my silence and discomfort. The next thing I knew, he put his arm on the back of my chair and pulled my chair closer to him. He placed his other hand on my thigh and gently squeezed it. He brought his head down so he could whisper into my ear.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you, Alex. You know I’m just joking. I know the timing of my joke is bad, and I’m very sorry. You know me better than anyone else. I may treat other girls like disposal toys, but you, you my love, you will always be the Queen of my heart.” His hot breath fanned against my skin, raising goosebumps on every inch it touched. His whispered words sent my heart racing.

I had timed this very wrong. Even though my intentions were in the right place, regret was settling in now and I felt stupid for thinking I could get away with keeping this a secret.

Th truth was that I had turned my emotions on again. During my visit to Shiloh to ask about Roy’s spells, I had requested her to break the numbing spell. If, after the spell broke, I didn’t have any feelings for Clark, I would know he wasn’t my mate. I would see that he wasn’t trying to magically blind me anymore because there was no point since I had numbed all my feelings specifically for him.

To my luck, whatever spell Clark had on me was broken. When I confronted him this morning about his fake kidnapping, I felt everything: the broken heart, the broken trust, the broken faith. I was crushed. Clark or Duke, whoever the fuck he was, had played this fake mate card on me twice, and I was over it now. Kona was over it. She had gone quiet, and I knew she was as heartbroken as I was.

When I had called Nick to come over, I had admitted to him that I had broken the numbness and like always, I knew I could trust in confiding in him. 

Although Nicholas’s arrival had stirred some feelings, Kona refused to react and elaborate, and I was left with just these uneasy feelings. I couldn’t say anything to Nicholas either. Nicholas said he would keep pursuing me as he would have in the past, and I should keep ignoring him so that I could keep up my illusion. He said it was the easiest way since people already knew how he felt about me.

It was no secret that he had a special place for me in his heart and his life. If I hadn’t pulled back on our friendship, things would have been a lot more different then it is today. We stayed friends and stayed in touch, but I had to come to terms with reality. Our reality. The reality that he would one day find his one true love, and so would I, so who were we kidding? It would never work out between us.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

***Flashback:***

Nicholas and I met for the first time when I was ten, and he was 16. He and his dad had come to visit us after my first shift. Dad wanted to get advice from other Alphas on how to tame my wolf. Since Kona had decided to come out a lot sooner, she hadn’t had the time to adjust to our ways and started to retaliate.

I could never forget that day. I had wandered off into the village, and some of the new mining workers kids had started to bully me, not knowing who I was. Kona got angry and took over. I didn’t know what to do and couldn’t shift back. I was so scared until I saw Nicholas standing next to me, trying to calm Kona down so I could shift back. He ran his hands through my fur and patted in places, trying to show Kona he wasn’t a threat. His presence, his scent and his touch, was all she needed, and she faded away into the back of my head. Once I shifted back, Nicholas took off his t-shirt and gave it to me to put on.

I was 10, and everyone said it was too early for me to find my mate. Nicholas, on the other hand, was determined to know and vowed not to stop until he figured out what the pull between us was, even if that meant waiting. After I left for Tribeca, we stayed in touch. He would write me letters to tell me about his time at high school, and I would write back about my training. After I turned 13, dad bought me a mobile. Our letters turned into daily calls and text messages. He was heading to college, and I figured he would lose interest and not have time.

Oh, how wrong I was.

He made time. He made an effort. He had timed everything and knew exactly when to call. He once woke up at 3 am to call me because they had a big football game and knew he probably wouldn’t get a chance to call me unless he woke up early. His behaviour honestly surprised me. He even made an effort to come to visit me when I went home for the holidays. Like, what kind of guy does that? We didn’t even know if we were mates.

Once I turned 15, I got a smartphone and texts, and calls turned into Video calls. Since Nicholas had taken over as King, I hadn’t seen him in person. I watched him turn into the hot Alpha he was via video. He had been too busy to visit but didn’t forget to call.

It was the night of my 16th birthday where everything changed between us. I had waited up till midnight for him to call. I don’t know why I expected him to. Something in me was desperate to hear his voice. Dad and Ash called, Matt called, all my other friends called, but Nicholas didn’t. I waited up for a while but finally gave up and went to sleep at 2 am. Maybe he was busy, was what I told myself.

At 6 am, my phone rang, and excitement bubbled in me. However, my heart broke at what Nicholas said.

“Sorry, Alex was out with this smoking hot chick and lost track of time. How are you doing?”

He had forgotten it was my birthday, had forgotten to call, had failed to message, and he had forgotten the time. All these years, he had never forgotten. That was the day I realised that I was maybe in love with him. In love with a boy that I may never have. What else could it be right? He was going to find a mate one day, and it would all be over. I had put my expectations too high.

I had become so attached to our friendship that the thought of sharing him was hurting me. I was distraught. Upset that I had let myself feel this way for him knowing very well nothing would happen.

I had never felt so upset with him before. I had never felt love for Nicholas before that day either. Why was I suddenly feeling all these things? Sensei Gideon explained that it was teenage hormones. He said for me to channel that anger and pain into my fighting. To embrace it and learn how to use it as my strength.

I called him later that day, and he still didn’t remember. So I decided to keep my distance from him. I needed to learn to live without him before something suddenly happened. Something that would hurt me even more. Without explaining to Nicholas why, I just said goodbye to him and asked him to give me some space.

***Flashback end***

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After that day, I got occasional messages from Nicholas. As I prepared to go back home after my training finished, I wondered if he would come to visit. Would he come to see me and find out why I had asked for space?

Dad had thrown a coming home party, and I stood at the door welcoming all the guests to the packhouse. I held my breath, looking for that face in the crowd. But Nicholas didn’t come, and I wasn’t mad at him.

We saw each other after I took my Queen title. It was awkward at first, but Nicholas went back to his usual flirty self, and people were starting to wonder about us again. Now that we were older, the sexual tension was thick; you could cut it with a blade. Regardless of our relationship, I knew if I were ever in trouble, he would always be there for me, just like he was today.

I finally raised my head and looked at him.

“You and I both know one day someone else will take that place in your heart. Why don’t we fuck and get it out of your system? You don’t have to be this sentimental. We won’t hurt or ruin whatever friendship we have left.”

Nicholas growled. His eyes were going dark. He was so close to me that his growl vibrated my insides. Nicholas was an Alpha. A very powerful King. His wolf didn’t like being challenged or dominated, especially by a female, regardless of her status.

“What makes you think it’s only about sex?” He grabbed my arm roughly, pulling me closer.

“Isn’t that what it is? I’m the trophy for every guy. Let’s fuck the sad mateless Queen. That’s going to be a great story to tell. It’s all about violating me, right?”

Kona growled inside me. My eyes started to sting. My emotions were betraying me. I was trying so hard to contain them, but Nicholas’s words had offended me, and Nicholas and my past now clouded it.

He let go of my arm, pushing me back a little. He got up abruptly, knocking his chair over.

“Fine then, let’s go. I want a piece of this trophy. One more thing to tick off my bucket list, fucking the Queen of the South” his voice was low and menacing.

“Nicholas! What the fuck?! Don’t disrespect her like that on her land” Noah was now standing next to him, his eyes looking around to make sure no one was paying attention to us.

I got up and smirked at him.

“3rd floor, last room on your right. You remember, right?”

“Lead the way”, he motioned for me to go first.