CHAPTER 31: Loving Thyself

KATE’s P.O.V.

I dropped my bag on my bed, my tears are still streaming down on my cheeks. I feel so empty, my mind couldn’t think of anything besides what Elijah has been keeping to me ever since.

I know that there is still a probability that he really is in love with me, but I don’t know if I could live the rest of my life with someone who’s been keeping secrets to me and such. I don’t know if I could still trust someone.

My mind is now flooded with those silly what ifs again. What if I didn’t saw that letter? Then I wouldn’t be able to find out the truth. And Elijah looked like he wasn’t planning on telling me about that thing either.

“Ms. Kate, someone is waiting for you in front of our house,” one of our maids called me.

She was in the other side of the door while I’m still inside of my room, crying for what I’ve found out earlier today. Mom will be home tomorrow, she promised that. And I’m hoping that they could explain it to me as early as possible.

“Who?” I asked, not in the mood to talk to someone.

“We don’t know his name, Ms. Kate. But he looked very familiar. I think I saw him before.”

Him. A guy. What if... No. Elijah wouldn’t come here just to see me. Besides, he’s a teacher. He have so much thing to do besides on dealing with a stupid woman like me.

“Ask his name and tell him to go home right now. I’m really not in the mood to face someone.”

“Sure, Ms. Kate.”

As soon as our maid gone away, I continued to weep like a crazy person. My mind and eyes were already tired, having the longest day of my life, I guess. So many things happened in just a few hours that is making me feel overwhelmed. I don’t know what to think first anymore.

A few moments later, I heard several knocks on my door again. I sat up, wiping my tears away out of annoyance. Do I really deserved to suffer like this? I mean, even just a peaceful moment... Just this once. My world couldn’t gave it to me.

“What?” I asked furiously, my voice is currently breaking down.

“Ms. Kate, I’m really sorry for disturbing you. But the man wanted to see you so bad. He said the his name was Elijah Ramirez...” she trailed off, sound like a nervous person.

“What?” I whispered to myself.

How come? Did he really came here just for me? Or maybe he’s here for a closure?

“Ms. Kate?”

“Please tell him to leave now, Yaya.”

Fear get in the way of love, and for the second time around, I chose to escape from the problem and not to face him. I’m scared that if he ever come here just to get the closure that he wanted, everything about us will be finally over and done and I’m not yet ready for that to happen. So I chose to hide inside of my shell again.

“But Ms. Kate, he looks so worried and... He said that he badly needed to see you as soon as possible.”

“No, Yaya. Just please, tell him to leave. If he doesn’t want to, then call our security.”

I gulped, thinking what may happen to Elijah if I let that happen. But I was so scared not for myself but for the both of us. I don’t want our relationship to end just like this. I wanted to find out the truth first from my parents before I listen to his explanations.

“Alright, Ms. Kate. I’ll try to talk to him.”

As the maid leave again, I instantly stood up. I ran towards my window to look down, hoping to see Elijah and our maid talking to each other. Thankfully, I could see a glimpse of them from up here.

Yaya looked nervous while talking to him. I saw how Elijah shook his head in disapproval before he shouted my name. My heart instantly ache seeing him like this.

“Kate! Please come down here! I just wanted to talk!” he shouted, shaking the bars of our gate.

I could see that our maid is trying to calm him down, but to no avail. I cried, feeling the unbearable pain in my chest. Elijah is now shouting non-stop while our maids are calling the security.

I felt terrible, watching Elijah fight his way in through the guards but they didn’t let him. I gasped by the sudden turn of events, seeing Elijah laying down on the ground with his lips swollen with blood. One of our security punched him in the face, causing him to fall down. I instantly ran downstairs, wasn’t been able to stop myself anymore.

When I got outside, Elijah is still on the ground, our guards started to pull him towards the exit of our property.

“Stop!” I cried.

They let him go and look at me with confusion in their eyes. I saw how Elijah’s face lit up as soon as he saw me. He looked happy even though I know that he’s hurt.

“Kate...” He still smiled at me causing my heart to shattered into a million pieces.

“I will handle this. Please leave, now!” I shouted to our servants, and they all left the place.

“Elij... What are you doing here?” My voice broke down.

He smiled, trying to act fine. I kneel down in front of him, looking straight into his eyes. I raised my trembling hands, before wiping the blood at the corner of his lips.

“Kate... I k-knew it. Y-you wouldn’t abandoned me just like what you did before. You wouldn’t do that again, right? R-right, Kate?” he asked, his eyes pleading.

I sobbed, seeing him at this state. We both cried in front of each other, sitting in front of our gates looking like an idiot.

“I don’t really know, Elijah... I don’t know if I could teach myself to trust someone once again..”

“Kate... Please believe me. That letter... I already forgot about that a long time ago...”

“Then why didn’t you tell me?” I asked.

“Because I’m afraid that’s something like this might happen to us. And I don’t want you to think that I’m only doing this to get the revenge that my Dad wanted... Because I didn’t Kate. I wasn’t doing this for anyone else. I’m doing this because I love you.”

I cupped his face before giving him a kiss on his forehead.

“I’m sorry, Elijah. I love you but I don’t think that I could trust you anymore. Leave now, Elij... Mom and Dad are coming home tomorrow.”

I stood up, gaining the courage that I needed not to come back to him and forgive him just like that. I felt him hugged my knees, not wanting to let go. I closed my eyes shut, suppressing the loud sound from coming out of my mouth.

“No... Please, Kate. I love you... I love you so much. I’m here... I’ll stay no matter what happen. I wouldn’t leave not until you talk to me again.”

I pushed him away, before I started running into our house. I closed the door shut, before crying out loud. Our servants looked so bothered, but they chose to remained silent rather than to interfere in my personal life.

That night, I didn’t ate anything nor talk to anyone. The rain is pouring pretty bad and heavy outside. It seems like the clouds were giving sympathy to my feelings. I lay down on the bed, staring blankly at the ceiling of my room while my tears are still flowing endlessly from my eyes. In that state, I fell asleep out of tiredness.

The next morning, I was awakened by a loud sound coming from my cellphone. I quickly picked it up from my bedside table, feeling as empty as yesterday. I answered it, not bothering to look who’s this caller of mine.

“H-hello?” My voice sounded dry.

“Kate? Are you alright?” It was my Mom.

Thankfully, I finally got a chance to ask her about this charades later on. I hope they could make it today because I don’t know if I can still spend another twenty-four hours without knowing the truth.

“Yes, Mom. Where are you?” I asked curiously.

“Our plane just landed. Your Dad have something very important to do at the company so we decided to just meet you there. Is that fine with you?” I could feel the worry in her voice.

“Sure, Mom. I’ll meet you there. But...”

“What, sweetie? Is there something wrong?”

“Nothing, Mom. I’m just wondering if you would finally tell me the truth about Mr. Elijioh Ramirez later on.”

“Your Dad and I already talked about that. And yes, we are going to explain to you everything about that guy. For now, just prepare of yourself and be careful. We will wait for you at our company.”

“You’ll tell me everything right? And what I mean by that is every little detail?” I asked, ignoring the last part of her long statement.

“Yes, Kate. Everything.” My heart skipped a beat, nervous at her tone.

This is it. I’m finally getting to know the truth. Just a one step closer and maybe, just maybe, I will finally he able to love myself.