CHAPTER 49: Her Apologies

KATE’s P.O.V.

Now that everything is going smooth and fine between me and Claire, I decided to mend the broken lines between me and Elijah as well so that I could finally have the peace of mind that I’ve always wanted to have ever since the beginning. I just hope that it was not too late for me to apologize to the one and only man that I truly love.

It’s been three days since the night of Cloey’s birthday party, and so the next morning, I finally decided to come to his apartment, with my hands trembling out of too much nervousness. I can’t believe that I will be looking so dumb just like this in front of him... I never expected that this could happen, that I would be the one to hurt the person I love the most instead of the other way around, just like what usually happens before.

As I reached the front door of his little home, I first took a deep breath to gain the courage that I needed, before knocking several times, just to make sure that he is home. I just couldn’t believe that he could live three days without my presence, because in my side, I was dying to see him again. But this is maybe because I hurt him too much, to the point that he needed time and space to think things through... Or maybe to ask himself if I am still worth it or deserving of his love.

I gasped, as the door suddenly swing open as I was about to knock on it once again. It revealed the man that I really wanted to see right now, but it felt different... His presence... It was all cold. It was like he doesn’t want me to be here at all. I wanted to hug him for I missed him so much, but he looks like he wasn’t having any of it. He looks bored, and he is not even smiling at my direction.

“Elijah...” I trailed off, feeling so nervous.

“Hmm?” was his short and smart response.

I tried to sneak a peek inside of his apartment, hoping that he would invite me in even though I could feel that he wouldn’t. I was just hoping that he would... Just maybe. But I wasn’t even a bit wrong, because he didn’t invite me in at all.

“I j-just want t-to... You k-know...” I struggled to say anything towards him, still feeling so intimidated by his presence for the very first time. He was once my comfort zone, a person to lean on. But it completely changed now.

“What?” he asked me, brows furrowed in an intense confusion as if he couldn’t even remember what happened between the two of us the last time that we saw each other.

I couldn’t deny it to myself anymore. I was so disappointed that he didn’t ask me to go inside nor invited me in. Did he really wanted us to talk like this? Just in front of his house? Is that mean that I am not that important to him anymore?

“I was just passing by and I decided that I should check you up...” I just stated, hoping that message could send him the signal. But again, he didn’t get it.

“Why?”

“W-why? What do you mean ‘why,’ Elijah? Of course because I care for you! And...” I blurted out the first part of my statement, and then I trailed off, unable to say anything more.

“And what?”

I bit my lower lip, while trying to suppress my tears. I can’t bear this cold treatment that was coming from him. I swear that this is the worst feeling ever. Specially that I love him so much... I can’t take it anymore... I just can’t. It hurts so much to the point that I badly wanted to give up now, hoping that it would go away soon as early as I couldn’t see his face anymore. Maybe this is not the right time to talk about it. Maybe I just need to come back sooner or later when he got his normal mood back on.

“Nothing, Elijah...” I bitterly smiled at him.

“Uhuh...” he muttered under his breath, only making me feel more hurt than before.

“Sorry for bothering you then... Don’t worry, I will leave alone soon,” I stated, before gulping several times as I tried to suppress my tears.

“Don’t you want to come in or something?” he finally asked.

I looked up at him, before I bitterly shook my head. I have been waiting for him to tell me those words but it sounded so wrong, and it felt kind of different as well. He probably just in invited me in as a sign of respect, and nothing more than that.

“No, maybe next time...” I answered.

“Okay.” So, that is it? He wouldn’t even try to force me to come in?

He was about to close the door shut right in front of my face, but I stopped him before he could even do that. He looked surprised, but I didn’t pay attention to that. I completely ignored his reaction as I burst out my emotional part towards him.

“Okay?! That’s it, Elijah? You wouldn’t stop me or anything?!” I asked him, nearly shouting as I got so frustrated by his recent action.

“Why would I? I mean, I’ve already done it before, but you didn’t even listen to me,” he coldly answer.

So he really got hurt by my lost of trust in him. I wiped my tears away, as I tried to be brave and tell him everything that I wanted to tell him now. Maybe this way would be better. I should tell him now, because I don’t know if I can repeat this scenario again somewhere in the near future.

“Look... I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry if I didn’t trust you before... I’m sorry if I told you those words, Elijah... I just feel so threatened that Claire might took something precious away from me again... But I was wrong... I shouldn’t have let you take all the blame just because I couldn’t move one from the past...”

Elijah just stared down at me, still looking stunned by my recent actions, though he manage to look and stay calm, as if I was just ranting like a child who wanted a candy in the middle of the night. He didn’t talk, nor make any sound at all. No words come from his mouth, and when I realized that he is not planning to say anything at all any time soon, J continued to tell him everything that I feel.

“I came here to apologize, Elijah. That’s the reason why... And Claire and I already talked about things through. We are fine now, and I’m hoping that we... Maybe we could be...” I trailed off, wiping my tears away.

I’m having a hard time suppressing my tears and I couldn’t contain it anymore. I cried, I cried out loud like a little child in front of him for apparently no reason at all. Maybe because of the fact that he’s treating me in a very cold way right now. But just to be clear, I am crying not because I’m hurt, but because I am frustrated and guilty.

Sometimes I think that the reason why everyone is leaving me behind is because I didn’t trust them enough... Just like what happened to Claire and I before. But thankfully, we got through that. Now I’m hoping that the same thing wouldn’t happen to Elijah and I. Because we already waste too much time before... We wasted over a decade to realize that the two of us should be together. And I don’t want that to happen once again just because of my attitude.

“I’m s-sorry, Elijah... And... I l-love you...”

I tried to compose myself before I wiped my tears away. And then I gulped, trying to stop myself from sobbing once again. I smiled bitterly at him before I tiptoed, leaning in closer to give him a quick kiss on his cheeks. And then with a heavy heart, I started walking away, while my tears are still streaming down to my cheeks. Maybe now is not the right time to talk to him yet. Maybe I will try to apologize again after a few days. Then maybe after that, he will finally forgive me. I just know that one thing is for sure... And that I wouldn’t give up on him anymore.

After I kissed him, I turned around, before I started walking away from his direction. I was just a few meters away from his apartment when I felt something running behind me. I wanted to turn around to see who is it, but before I could do that, I was already captured by his amending graze from behind. He hugged me, and I knew that it was him... I am sure of that. I perfectly fit in his muscular arms, as I felt his chin pressing on my shoulders.

“Do you honestly think that I could let you go home without us having a reconciliation, Ms. Frias?” Elijah asked me in his raspy voice, whispering those words to my ears even though there is no one here to heard us.

“But, Elijah...” I trailed off, still sobbing and stunned by his sudden change of moods.

“I love you too... And I already forgiven you even before you apologize to me. I was just waiting for you to realize that...” he stated.

“Did I hurt you that bad that I deserved that kind of treatment that you’re showing me earlier?” I asked him, as I started to get annoyed.

So now he is telling me that I deserved that kind of treatment that he has been showing to me lately. What a jerk... But still, I love him.

“Of course not. You never deserved to be treated like that, my princess. And baby, did you know how hard it was for me to contain myself not to hug you like this right after I saw you standing in my doorstep?”

“Then why didn’t you, Elijah?” I asked, as my voice broke up in pain.

“Because I wanted to hear it straight from you... That you trust me now... And you’re ready to be with me again. I didn’t bother you for three days because I wanted you to take your time and space to realize things...”

“I did realized one thing aside from trusting people, Elijah... And that is I can’t live without you...” I stated.

I turned around, finally facing his direction. Our eyes met, and I saw how a smile slowly formed on his seductive lips.

“Sorry about that earlier... I was just waiting for you to cry, silly,” he stated then chuckled, pinching my nose. “Trying to mess up with you, I guess.”

“You jerk!” I punched his chest, only making him laugh out loud.

“Sorry, Ms. Frias... I’m sorry.”

Before I could even speak up, he closed the gaps between our lips, kissing me in a passionate way just like he always does. And from that moment on, I know that I am finally having that happily ever after that I always wanted to have ever since high school. And that was because of him... Elijah Ramirez, the only guy who made me realize the importance of trust and patience in a relationship. Who knows that a villain like me could have a happy ending as well?