Chapter 12

**Marilyn**

I woke up furious with myself. I went to a club and danced like a slut with a guy I barely even knew. The worst part was, I liked it.
I kept telling myself it's just the mate bond and that given my way I would be with Ryland.
"He was never ours. You should have never tried to force something that wasn't meant to be. You have no one to blame but yourself," my wolf said.
I didn't want to talk to her. She was only saying those things because she wanted her mate. Sure he was handsome, sexy, and wanted to be with me. I'll even admit that things hadn't been as bad as I thought. He was sweet and funny but it wasn't right for me to fall for him when I hurt Ryland so badly, was it? How would it be fair for me to move on like he never existed while he still cared for me?
"Because if he had met his mate first he would have done the same to you."
My wolf had always been the wise one but she had to be wrong this time. It couldn't be true. Ryland would have never left me. He would have stayed with me no matter what like he always said, wouldn't he?
I know it sounded selfish but I didn't want to believe any differently, although I had to wonder. I didn't leave Ryland by choice but now that I had Daniel I was ashamed to say my feelings for Ryland were fading. Would that have been the case with him as well? Would he have tried to fight the bond but failed and left me in the end?
It was too much to process. I didn't want to think about what would have happened. This was reality and as crazy as it was I had to deal with it.
"What's on your mind?"
I didn't even realize Daniel was awake.
"Just thinking. It's nothing, don't worry."
He looked as though he wanted to question me further but I was glad he didn't.
"Alright I'll go fix breakfast then."
He got up and stretched flaunting those gorgeous muscles. How could someone be so perfect? It wasn't fair. Why couldn't I have gotten someone who wasn't so attractive? Or someone who was a complete jerk so that it would have been easy to reject him?
I watched him walk out of the room and thought about the first time I saw him. As soon as my eyes locked with his I saw the pain, anger and hurt he felt from seeing me with Ryland. I knew then I would never be able to reject him. Looking back on it I have to admit it was miraculous he still wanted me after that. Another reason why I don't deserve him.
I had so many mixed emotions I just wanted to run and hide so I could clear my head, but that wasn't my style. Running never solved anything.
It wasn't long before he came back carrying two trays with ham and cheese omelets.
I still wasn't used to someone cooking for me. It was very sweet especially since I was more than capable of cooking for myself.
"Thank you," I said shyly. I didn't know what it was about him but he had a way of making me feel exposed. Like if I let him get close enough he could read me like an open book. It was both comforting and intimidating.
"You don't have to thank me you know. I like doing things for you. I don't mind," he said. I looked at him wanting to find a hint of insincerity. Anything to tell me that he couldn't be trusted. That he wasn't as perfect and caring as he seemed. But I came up with nothing. All I detected was honesty. Why I wanted so badly to find a flaw or something to make me hate him I didn't know.
"You feel guilty about what you did. You know that you hurt him and yet he still loves you."
My wolf just had to voice her opinion. I finally shut her out fed up with her responses. Every time she spoke she made me question my decisions. She was a pain in the ass at times.
We ate in silence for a while until he decided to break it.
"Look I don't know what you've been thinking about all morning and you don't have to tell me, although I have an idea. I just want to let you know that I feel like we've made a lot of progress. I've enjoyed my time with you even the not so pleasant ones. I'm just asking you not to shut me out. You can always talk to me. You've been very quite this morning and I know you've got something on your mind. I'm here if you want to talk."
I sighed and looked at him. I couldn't tell him all the thoughts in my head. It would only piss him off. At the same time he was making an effort and I didn't want him to feel like it was in vain.
"You're right I have been lost in thought. Last night was very confusing for me. I wasn't expecting to enjoy myself nor was I expecting what happened between us to take place. I'm sorry I've just been trying to sort through my feelings," I told him honestly, hoping I succeeded in phrasing things in a way that wouldn't make him too upset.
He took my face in his hands and stared into my eyes. I wanted to look away. I didn't want to be an open book to him. Whenever he looked into my eyes it's like he was searching my soul. But no matter how hard I tried I couldn't escape his gaze.
"I know you still think about him Lyn. I won't lie and say it doesn't bother me because the truth is it does. I know you had to really care for him to give yourself to him. I wanted to kill him because I wanted to be the only man you considered worthy enough to be with or care for in that way. But at the same time I know that I wasn't a saint so you shouldn't feel guilty. Blaming one another isn't going to do either of us any good. We need each other. There is someone out there for him, but you're mine. You have to let go of the past if you want to move forward."
I knew he was right. I had to stop punishing myself. I had to stop feeling guilty for being with Ryland. I also had to stop feeling guilty for being with my mate. All I ever wanted was to be was happy. Now that I had the chance I was the only one standing in my way. What I had with Ryland was good but deep down I knew it was nothing compared to what I could have with Daniel. But was I ready to have a relationship with him? What if Ryland never found his mate? What would happen to him? Would he ever truly be over me? Would he ever move on? What if he came looking for me? What would I tell him? I didn't want to break his heart any further, he didn't deserve that. This was all so confusing. I wanted to take a chance with my mate but I was conflicted. I couldn't help thinking no matter what I did someone would end up hurt.

**Unknown**

It was almost time. I had been planning my revenge since the moment that bastard killed my brother and stole the woman I had chosen to be my mate.
He had managed to take down most of my best men, but I managed to escape. Now that I formed a new and more powerful team I was stronger than ever.
We had been spying for months making sure we knew every inch of his territory. The idiots didn't have a clue until that tracker of theirs caught on to us. How he was able to pick up a scent through our untraceable spray I will never know. He would have to be the first to go. I couldn't have him telling anyone our whereabouts.
The obvious thing to do would be to kill him and then the pack would be weakened. We could continue as planned. But it crossed my mind that he could be useful to me once I took over his pack and killed his alpha. Either way he would be meeting me very soon.