Chapter Fifteen

River



I’m sitting in the dark with some comedy show playing on the TV that I’m all but paying attention to when I hear her door open. My mind has been all over the place lately and it’s been easier to just stay away then try to figure everything out.

School has gotten pretty intense lately, which has helped to keep my mind occupied, but it’s also kept me away more than it had before. With finals just around the corner, this semester has flown by faster than any so far and I can’t believe that it’s already almost over.

I hear her footsteps as she walks down the hallway and I try to get my head together so I can focus on what she has to say.

I know that I’m getting too close.

I realized that little tidbit the other night after things had went a little too far between us and she broke down on me. But there’s just something about her. For whatever reason, I can’t resist her. No matter how much I know that I should.

“Hey…” she murmurs as she stops next to the couch to my right.

I just nod in acknowledgement but don’t say anything. I’m afraid if I do, I’ll just blurt everything that’s in my head out and that’s my burden to bear alone. Instead, I keep my eyes trained on the television set in front of me.

“So…I just got off the phone with Caprice. Corrine wants to get together this weekend. I understand if you don’t want to go, I just wanted to let you know because the invite was extended to both of us.” Out of the corner of my eye, I notice her twisting her hands together nervously.

I just nod once again, acknowledging what she said but again, not saying anything in return. My heart feels like it’s pounding out of my chest from her nearness alone. I’ve never felt this way about someone, and I don’t know how to feel about it. I don’t know what’s the right thing to do here considering our situation.

“River…” she starts but then pauses, still twisting her hands together nervously. “Did I…have I…” I hear her breath come out in a huff of frustration and out of the corner of my eye I watch her head fall, her focus now on the floor as she slowly backs away. “Nevermind.” She says with a shake of her head.

I want to go to her, comfort her. I want to tell her that I’m sorry for shutting her out and treating her the way I have for the last few days. But I don’t. I need to get my head on straight and when I’m around her; I tend to think with the wrong part of my anatomy.

I listen as she pads back down the hallway and the bedroom door shuts behind her with a soft click.

I’m not intentionally being an asshole to her, but that’s the way that I’m coming across and she didn’t do anything wrong. I know that my behavior is hurting her, so I need to get my shit together.

Maybe this weekend away together will help me sort everything out. Not having the distraction of work or school, just she and I spending time together.

Suddenly, I find myself kind of excited about the weekend ahead.



⨳




The drive to her mom’s has started out in awkward silence. Neither of us speak, we keep trading glances, capturing each other’s stare, and then quickly righting our focus back to the road.

“Listen...” I start while she says “I...” we both start laughing and the tension finally breaks.

“Go ahead.” I say, waiting for her to say whatever it was that she was going to say.

“I just wanted to say thank you. For bringing me… and for coming. I know that you have a lot going on right now. So, I really appreciate it.” Her thanks aren’t needed, I wouldn’t let her go through this alone regardless of what’s going on in my own life, but I still appreciate it just the same.

“It’s no problem, really. I’m actually looking forward to a break from everything for a bit.” Taking my attention from the road, I check out her profile for a moment and kick myself for my actions as of late. “Listen, I need to apologize for being a jackass recently. I’ve had a lot going on but it’s no excuse to take it all out on you. So, I’m sorry and I hope that you will forgive me.”

“Thank you.” she replies, reaching for the radio knob and ending our conversation. A Disturbed song breaks through the speakers, filling the cab with the sound of David Draiman’s voice.

As I listen to the words, I sneak another glance at Chevy, and I find her mouthing each and every word. For some reason, I find it kind of cute. I watch her a moment longer, before turning back to watch the road as the unrelenting pull towards her becomes stronger with each passing moment.

The interstate is packed with commuters coming and going. I try to remember if there is a home game going on this weekend, which may answer the amount of traffic taking up the roadway, but I think both Oklahoma teams play out of state today.

“Mother Fucker!” I screech, slamming on the breaks and leaning over and placing my arm in front of Chevy as the car in front of us slams on their breaks. A wave of déjà vu courses through me as I pray that I’m able to stop before making impact with the car in front of me.

“Oh my god…” Chevy cries as we stop mere inches from the Mustangs back end.

“Holy fuck! Are you okay?” I ask her as soon as the truck rocks to a stop. When she doesn’t answer, I chance a glance in her direction.

Tears stream down her cheeks, her bottom lip caught between her teeth as she tries to fight off a sob, eyes cast straight forward as though she’s unable to look away.

I know that I need to pull over and make sure that she’s okay, but the next exit is still a little way up the road and traffic is creeping.

“Chevy…” I murmur as I reach out and take her hand, linking my fingers through hers. “It’s okay baby.” Bringing our joined hands to my mouth, I place a kiss across her knuckles and then lower our hands to my heart.

“There was rain…” she murmurs barely above a whisper.

“What?” I ask, not knowing what she’s talking about because it’s definitely not raining. “What do you mean there was rain?”

Shaking her head, she takes a deep breath and then releases it slowly.

“The night of my accident. It was raining.” She says matter-of-factly.

“You remember? Do you remember anything else?” I ask, curious as to what all she can remember.

“I remember a girl…” she says, her eyes closed as though she’s trying to play the scene out in her head. “…with brown hair, she was driving.”

“Sierra.” I say the girl's name although I know that she already knows it from the newspaper article. “The girl the article referenced. She was your best friend.”

“She’s the one that didn’t make it.” Her voice is soft, broken as tears continue flooding her cheeks.

“No, she didn’t…” I agree, “What else do you remember?”

“Nothing…” she says, shaking her head no. She turns her attention out her window for a moment, her breathing still coming quickly. She’s silent for several moments, still watching out the window as we finally pass the accident that caused the traffic to back up and I take the next exit, needing to pull over.

There’s a gravel lot just off of the interstate and I figure it’s just as good as any place to pull over. As soon as the truck comes to the stop, I rock back the key, killing the engine and turn to Chevy.

“I’m sorry…” I murmur, reaching out to cradle her cheek in my hand, needing contact with her after keeping myself away for the past week.

“Why?” she whispers, turning her cheek into my hand, locking me within her stare.

“I know that I already apologized but fuck, I’m such a fucking idiot.” Her eyes search mine for answers and I pray that she can see how much she means to me. “I got scared. It’s no excuse but it’s the truth.”

“I’m scared too.” She mutters as she places her hand over mine on her cheek and turns her head, placing a chaste kiss against my palm. My skin tingles where her lips make contact.

“I know.” I whisper as I lean into her. The need to taste her and feel her soft, plump lips against my own has me lowering my head to claim her mouth.

Wrapping my hands around her tiny waist, I pull her into my lap, her legs spread so that she is straddling me as I deepen the kiss, needing more of her. I groan out as her body presses against mine, her full tits pressed against my chest, her hips rocking. The feel of her hardened nipples pressed against me causes my cock to stir to life.

”Fuck, I want you so bad.” I groan out as I find the column of her throat and suck on the sensitive skin beneath her ear. Her hips continue rocking against my cock, the pleasure almost too much.

Chevy releases a sigh and I drink it in, the soft sounds escaping her as it fuels my next movements. Lowering my hand to her ass, I give the firm flesh a squeeze garnering a moan from deep within Chevy’s chest, her rocking picking up speed.

“I’ve tried to do the right thing and stay away…” I mutter before going back in for another kiss, not able to break for long.

“Why?” she whispers against my mouth as my hands find her hips, stilling them before she pushes me over the edge.

“Because I thought it was the right thing to do.” I say, leaning my forehead against hers. “I thought that it was what you needed.” I say, placing a chaste kiss against the corner of her mouth where she’s always biting her lip. “You needed to heal, get your bearings. I didn’t want to complicate that.”

She bites the corner of her bottom lip, right where my lips just were, and it takes everything within me to not lay her down on the bench seat and show her just how badly I want her. Instead, I lift my hand to her mouth, using my thumb to pull it from between her teeth, rubbing the pad of my thumb along the soft curve.

“River, what’s…” she starts, her eyes dropping down to my mouth and then back up as she releases a heavy sigh, “We should probably be getting back on the road.” She murmurs, sitting up and effectively ending the moment.

I hesitate for a beat, not wanting to let her go after going without touching her for what seems like an eternity, when in reality it had only been just under a weeks’ time.

Only once she crawls off of my lap and rights herself in her seat, fastening her seatbelt back into place do I adjust myself not so discreetly, keeping my hand wrapped around the bulge, riding out the ache in my balls as my head leans against the headrest, eyes closed.

“I’m sorry.” She murmurs apologetically but she has nothing to be sorry for.

“No need to be sorry.” I reply with a grin.

I want her.

I want her so badly that I physically ache, and I’m done fighting what I feel for her. But, I know that there are some things that we should talk about before anything more happens between us.

It’s a talk that needs to happen sooner rather than later, because I can’t seem to keep my hands off her when we’re close to each other and, just like now, things get pretty hot and heavy fast.