Chapter Nineteen

Chevelle


*“You little bitch! Did you really think that you could run away from me and get away with it?” I cringe at the sound of the voice from behind me, suddenly frozen in place. How did he find me?*

*Coming up behind me, he breathes in my ear sending goose bumps down my spine. “I bet you're wondering how I found you, aren’t you?*”

*“Why are you doing this?” I cry, “Why can’t you just leave me alone?”*

*“Why would I go and do a thing like that? Give up this sweet little pussy?” he shoves his hands between my thighs, cupping me there as if to emphasize his point. “This pussy is mine. It will always be mine; do you hear me?”*

*“Please, just leave me alone. Someone help me, please.” I cry, unable to understand why someone won’t help me. The streets are crawling with people, but no one is stopping, they stare, they whisper but they don’t help.*

*“Now that I’ve found you, nobody can help you.” He threatens, a scream erupting from my throat moments before his hand wraps around it, choking out both the sound and my air supply*.

“Chevy! Wake up! Chevy…”

*I’m unable to do anything except for gasp for air as he begins to shake me.*

“Chevy, come on baby. Wake up!”

*The edges of my vision are turning black, unconsciousness closing in on me. I’m afraid of what he might do if I pass out, unable to put up a fight any longer.*

“Chevelle!”

Suddenly the darkness fades away, the light too bright for me to be able to keep my eyes open.

“Chevy? Look at me. Look at me, baby.” I try opening them again, this time the light isn’t as bright because River is above me, panic written all over his face.

“River?” I ask, moving to a sitting position, “What are you doing in here?”

“You were screaming. Are you okay?” he asks, looking me over as if he will find something physically wrong with me.

“I was asleep. I had a nightmare. At least, I think it was a nightmare.” I look at him, but not finding any kind of answers. I don’t understand what’s happening to me. It was the same kind of thing that I saw when I was at Corrine’s house.

“What do you mean you think you had a nightmare? What happened?” River climbs in the bed behind me, pulling me into his lap and shifting us so that we are both reclined, me leaning against his hard chest, his arms wrapped around my torso.

“I-I don’t know how to explain it…” I say hesitantly, “it’s like, when Drake was doing that stuff to me, I was in the middle of this nightmare, I couldn’t move, I couldn’t fight. I couldn’t…it was like I was reliving something that had happened before. I wasn’t in that hallway with Drake, at least not mentally. I was somewhere else, but I don’t know where.”

“Do you think that Drake has forced himself on you before? That maybe what happened triggered some sort of a memory or PTSD or something?” I can tell that he’s trying to remain calm, but his tone of voice gives away the anger running through him at the mention of Drake.

“I don’t think it was him. The voice in my dream, it was different. Older.” *He said that he would move on to Caprice if I kept fighting him…* I think to myself, but I don’t say it out loud. *It had to be someone who knew us all well for him to threaten something like that. But who?*

Neither of us speak for several minutes and the silence of the room becomes too much, the only sound coming from the overhead fan. “I’m sorry that I woke you.” I tell him, trailing my fingers along the palm of his hand, hoping that he will drop the subject of the nightmare. I don’t know what it means, if it means anything at all.

His lips are next to my ear, his breath sending cold chills throughout my body with each breath that he takes. My nipples pebble and my core tightens when his lips close around the lobe of my ear. “I’m more than happy to be here.” He murmurs, shifting his hips so I can feel his hardened length pressing against my rear, lips trailing kisses down the column of my neck, eliciting a groan of pleasure from me.

Turning my head, I catch his mouth with my own, reveling in his taste as his hips thrust once more. One of his hands wrapping around my middle, holding me in place as the other goes to the band of my sleep shorts. “Stop me if this isn’t okay…” he husks, his hand playing with the band as he awaits my response.

Nodding my permission, I bite my bottom lip and release a groan of pleasure as soon as his fingers make contact with my aching bud. With his thumb putting pressure right where I need it, his fingers trail through my wetness, running the length of me. “I won’t do anything that you don’t want me to, okay?” he whispers against my cheek as he lowers his lips towards my neck, sucking on the sensitive skin beneath my ear.

“I trust you.” I pant out as he thrusts a finger inside of me before quickly removing it, then repeating the action again. “Oh my…”

Adding a second finger, he picks up his pace, the pleasure reaching heights that I didn’t know where possible. I try reaching beneath me to wrap my hand around him, but he just tightens his arm around my waist, not allowing me access to him.

“This is about you. Only you.” I don’t like him denying me what I want, he has me so worked up that all I can think about is how badly I want him.

“River…please…” I beg, trying to get to him once again, “I want you.”

He applies more pressure to my clit, and the combination of everything sends me hurtling over the edge as the strongest orgasm that I’ve ever had pulses through my body.

“You have me,” he declares just before his lips find mine once more.

As I settle back against River’s chest, I release a satisfied sigh and thread our fingers, not willing to let the moment go.

“Will you stay with me?” I ask a few moments after my heartbeat finally settles back to a normal rhythm.

“There’s nowhere else that I would rather be.” He murmurs, placing a soft kiss against my temple and rotating us onto our sides so that he is spooning me from behind, his arms still around my waist.

We lay in silence for quite a while as thoughts run through my head like a newspaper reel.

I can’t help but wonder what the dreams mean or if they’re really dreams at all. *What if they’re like a flashback or something? And what about what happened with Drake? Is that the kind of person that I was?*

I need answers but I don’t know where to go or how to get them. Maybe I need to talk with Drake, but I already know that there is no way that River would let me anywhere near him.

“River?” I murmur, interrupting the silence that surrounds us.

“Yeah, baby?” he murmurs, tightening his arms around my waist.

“What do you…”, I pause momentarily trying to find the right words to ask one of the many questions that are plaguing me. “Do you think that I was a bad person before my accident?”

River shifts behind me, removing his left arm from beneath me and placing his right hand at my waist.

“Hey, will you turn over and look at me?” he asks gently.

Once I do as he asks, River leans down to place a chaste kiss against my lips and then rests his forehead against mine. He releases a sigh and for a second, I’m afraid of what his answer may be.

“I honestly don’t know what type of person you were before. But I’ve gotten to know the person that is here with me right now, and she is amazing.” He pulls away to look into my eyes and repeats, “You are amazing, baby.”

“But what if what Drake said was true? I went behind my brothers back to be with his best friend.” I shake my head, frustrated that I don’t have any kind of answers. “Who does that?”

Placing his hand against my cheek, he looks deeply into my eyes before speaking, “you’re not that girl anymore, *whoever* she was. You may have the same name and the same face and all of that, but you aren’t the same person.”

“But I can’t help but feeling like I need to understand my past in order to get a grip on what happened today…” about why Drake would do what he did but also about what happened to me while I was in that hallway.

“Maybe one day you will be able to have the answers that you’re looking for, but it’s late and you aren’t going to get them tonight,” River releases a huge yawn, as if to emphasize his point before continuing, “let’s try to go back to sleep, okay?”

River rolls so that he’s lying on his back and lifts his arm so that I can slip beneath it and lay my head against his chest.

“Goodnight beautiful,” he murmurs, placing a kiss against my hair.

A smile tugs at my lips as I snuggle into his chest and drift off wrapped in River.


*Where will I go?*

My breathing intensifies, I can feel a panic attack coming on as my chest becomes heavy and my throat constricts to the point of almost cutting off my air supply.

*No! I will not ruin this with thoughts of what could happen. River wouldn’t do something like that to me. Not after everything we’ve been through. He’s been there for me, stuck by me, stood up for me. *

I snuggle into River’s chest, overwhelmed with thoughts and feelings.

*We had sex.*

*I had sex and it didn’t send me over the edge.*

*Almost doesn’t count, I reigned it in*.

It was amazing, incredible, everything that I ever imagined that it would be, being with River, and everything that I never knew that it could ever possibly be.

He made me feel things that I’ve never felt before. Things that I can’t put into words. But that warm feeling that I get when I see him, the way that my heart beats faster whenever he’s near me and the way that I miss him when he’s gone. He’s my last thought at night and my first thought in the morning. If I didn’t know better, I would think that I was in love with him…

*HOLY…*

*FUCK…*

*I love him.*

*That’s what all of those feelings mean.*

*The butterflies, the erratic way that my heart beats against my chest when he smiles at me…*

* I love River.*