Chapter 34

“Mia on a date, huh?” Amber straightened her spine. She was hunched over on the couch, book in hand and legs folded in mediation style. They’d not too long ago tucked Amiyah into bed and Nate went to shower. Amber had grabbed the first book on her nightstand and scampered off downstairs as a means of distraction. Now that there wasn’t any third party around them, she didn’t know how to behave.

“Don’t hold your breath for her to return home tonight.” Amber shoved the bookmark into the page and put the book down. She stretched her shoulders and peaked up at him through her eyelashes, she was scared to face him directly. He came to stand at the side of the couch, both of them staring forward, avoiding the sight of each other.

“It’s about time she enjoyed her life.” He slid his hands into his pockets, water droplets from his damp hair dripping down to the floor. Amber caught a glance of the twinkling water bubble from the corner of her eye. She usually sat with him on the floor and blow dried his hair for him, now she didn’t know what words to say to them.

“You don’t think she should have divorced Gabriel before going out with other men?” She asked. She was in full support of sister and her decisions, however, she did wonder if he had any issues with other men showing up at the house. It was probably a mistake for her to not ask his permission earlier.

“Mia has her reasons for staying with that man.” His voice was gruff to his own ears at the thought of that bastard Gabriel. “Her inability to leave that in-title-only relationship shouldn’t stop her from being happy.” He’d had no qualms about Mia dating; she’d married young and was unable to enjoy a romantic life. “Gabriel’s mistresses have found themselves at the house Mia and Amiyah stay at with Gabriel. Mia owes him no loyalty.” He’d also gladly help her hide her relationships if need be. Mia was a sister to him and he wanted to see her happy.

“I agree.” Mia replied weakly, her eyes burning. Was Nate trying to tell her something? Was that the same mentality he had for their relationship? The thought of him with another woman these past weeks when he wasn’t at home felt like a dull knife piercing into her with an excruciatingly slow rhythm, every tear of her flesh sounding in her ear.

“Let me just say this,” she turned her body around to face his, he was still standing at his original spot, his pupils following the fishes around in their aquarium. She stared at his profile, her heart twisting about.

“I don’t care what you did these past nights or with who,” She began. If that was what he needed to get even with her, she wouldn’t judge him. She deserved to feel the same level of hurt as he did. “I love you and I know I screwed up and if you needed to do anything to balance the scales, I am telling you I won’t hold it against you.” Her words sounded like a plea, and it was. She was pleading with him to come back to her fully, she couldn’t bare running around this house with him on bad terms.

“You won’t be mad?” he cocked his head towards her and studied her expressions. She lowered her gaze, unable to meet his eyes.

“I’ll be hurt,” She admitted, the knife piercing through her was still going, the pain debilitating. She was forcing herself to breathe and talk at the same time. “but…” She inhaled deeply, a bad decision, a sharp pain shot through her rib. “I screwed up first and I can’t expect you forgive me just like that.” She exhaled shakily, her hands clutching her side.

“Do you really want to know what I have been doing the nights I wasn’t home?” he lowered his head and sighed. Was that what she really thought he’d been doing? Then again, that would be the first thought he had if the tables were turned.

“We don’t have to talk about it. I won’t ever use it to guilt you.” The words were like rapid fire. She didn’t want the confirmation, her sensibilities couldn’t take it. Amber wanted to move forward from this point on, the past would erase itself in time.

“I spent the past nights sitting alone,” he emphasised the word ‘alone’ and watched as her eyes finally met his. They were sparkling like glass and against his baser instincts to go to her, to wrap his arms around her, he swallowed and continued, “with this popped open resting on the bar table,” he’d pulled out a velvet box and twirled it around in his fingers, the colour darkening and lightening as light shone on it from different angles. He didn’t leave it out of his sight, it was the reminder of his feelings for her even when they were threatening to turn into indifference.
Amber stared at the closed box in awe. It couldn’t be what she thought it was. The last time they ever talked about marriage was when Nate started his internship, then it had seemed like a far dream. It was something they knew they couldn’t afford. She’d told him not to worry about it, she didn’t need a ring to remind her how much they loved each other. That concept still reigned true but along the way she did think that maybe he was never interested in actually making her his wife.

“I stared at it while I drank and wondered if I should move on,” he continued, licking his lips. “and while I did consider it, I know that I could never love someone as much as I love you.” He’d turned his entire body towards her now, she was busy squeezing her hands together, her eyes soft as they stared at him.

“Nate…” she breathed, her heart overflowing by the mere mention of him revealing his love for her. She had been terrified of his feelings being anything else. She could never watch this man, who showered her with unconditional love be cold to her.

“I wasn’t fooling around on you, I was deeply wondering what to do. What was the right decision?” he ranked his free hand through his hair, up until this moment he hadn’t known what to do. “I would never be happy without you.” He said more to himself, kneeling on the floor in front of her he held out the box and pried it open.

“These weeks have been hell without.” His voice was deep with regret. He’d wasted so much time without her, he couldn’t waste anymore.

“Marry me, Amber.” He said, the diamond tear-drop sparkling. Amber didn’t move. Her eyes locked on his. Was he being sincere?

“What?” she questioned, unable to believe what was happening.

“This obviously wasn’t the way I intended to do this but, pretty, flowery words seem irrelevant at this point.” He pulled the ring out of its casing and dropped the box on the floor beside him. “Our relationship is not going to be smooth sailing, we have things to work on, like communication and trust but there is no one else I would rather try with than you.” He took a hold of her hand and squeezed.

“I want a life with you, more than just us living together in sin.” He chuckled a bit. He wasn’t particularly religious but this woman in front of him deserved the highest commitment he could give her.

“Quoting your grandmother now?” She chuckled past the tears streaming down her eyes, her fingers encircling around his hand, the pain in her heart subsiding bit by bit. It had been so long since she touched him, the contact springing more tears from her eyes.

“She always nagged us to get married, but we weren’t ready then. I am ready now and it’s because I want you in my life and I hope to God you want that to.” There was a shred of doubt nagging at him, what if the woman he loved, didn’t love him back?

“I do.” She sniffled, shaking her head up and down until the beginnings of a headache sparked. “I want you and I know I have work to do…” She began, the words jointed past the sobs.
“We both do,” he corrected her, he also had to create a safer environment for her to open up to him.

“I really want us to work. I want to marry you.” She said, he slid the ring on her finger and pulled her into his arms, the sound of her sobs muffled by his chest.

“Are you going to move back into our room?” She said against his shirt.

“Do you want me to?” He teased, the invisible weight around his heart were unlocked.

“Yes, I have been getting the worse sleep in the past few weeks.” She snuggled closer into him, breathing in his scent.

“So have I.” he admitted, “Although I do not guarantee you better sleep tonight.” He ran his fingers through her hair.

“Why’s that?” she pulled out of him slightly so that she could look at him. He wiped the tear stains off her cheeks and wiggled his eyebrows.

“There are other things I’d rather catch up on.” He stared at her lips, her cheeks becoming flushed.