Pain & Pleasure

Athena


When I got back into the room, bracing myself for the worst it turned out that the worst I have been expecting was yet to happen. The sound of the shower running coming from the bathroom told me that Sebastian was inside.

As my stare fell on the bed, I noticed that the bed sheets have been changed. Perhaps when I was out, he called a maid and made her do it. At least this was considerate of him to do so but I doubted that he did that for me, he might have his own reasons.

I was aware that Sebastian does not want to make anything easy for me.

Sighing, I walked and took a seat on the couch, looking outside at the sky as the white clouds scatter everywhere within the blue.

I was not going to succeed in bringing Sebastian back if I turn to be unable to push away my fears. I needed to look past every cruel thing he did, and that was the hardest part.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, trying to calm my racing heart down when suddenly the sound shower stopped and the bathroom door opened.

I swallowed the gasp that was on the verge to leave my mouth and stood up from my place in reflex.

Sebastian walked out of the bathroom with only a towel wrapped around his waist that hung dangerously low to his V. His blue eyes looked right through my soul like every other time when he looked at me, Pushing his wet hair back he walked towards me whilst I found me involuntarily taking a few steps backwards.

Watching him felt like I was looking at a beautiful disaster that'd destroy me very soon.

My back hit the wall and this was when I knew that I was trapped.

He rested his hands on either side of my waist, pressing me further against the wall, I held my breath still and looked away from him, I did not want to inhale Celine's scent that might still remain on him, it was my mere attempt to save myself from the torment.

"Have you ever realized how weak you are, Athena?" His question took me off-guard and this time my gaze shifted back to him.

"The one whose eyes tell their emotions, is the weakest among all," He said, "Because people can read their weaknesses, they can find ways to destroy them and in the end, they succeed."

"But what would you call the one who hides in fear?" It automatically left my mouth and this time I noticed Sebastian's expression change even if it was so slight that it could easily miss anyone's eyes.

"They are more ruined than anyone else in the world, Sebastian. Because they are hiding from the light in the fear of getting burned when it's not the light that will hurt them, it's the same darkness that comes after it and the very same darkness they think will save them. It's not emotions that make us weak, it's our fear to face it that does."

I did not how I had expected him to react but it was certainly not the bitter laughter that left his mouth, "It's better to get destroyed by our own than letting someone else ruin us but you won't understand it because you are one of those people who would let the storm destroy them but not stop their search for the hopes that'll never turn out to be true."

With that moved away, releasing his hold on me and walked inside the closet.

I stood there in my place, his words kept swirling in my mind in a loop till he came back.

"I am going to review a few documents for my company, since you'll be staying in my room, I expect you to be as quiet and invisible as possible or else I know how to shut your mouth by myself." He told me, flashing me a look of warning before he grabbed his laptop and moved to sit on the side of the bed.

Soon enough, he got busy with his work and the room fell silent leaving me to drown in my loud thoughts as I sat on the couch and focused my gaze back on the sky once again.




*******



I began drying my hair with the dryer once I'd dried the rest of my body with a towel, it was nearly night and apparently, I thought taking a shower was going to help me in calming myself down. It did work but not much.

I was just stuck in a dilemma and it was nearly impossible to find a way out.

I walked out of the bathroom with the bathrobe wrapped around me once I was done. I made my way to the closet to get my clothes, still remaining lost in the introspections inside of my head when Sebastian's voice made me halt at my place.

  "Athena..."

The hair on my neck stood up and my breathing stopped for a brief moment, my appearance made me feel self-conscious but somewhere I managed to gather the courage to turn around.

It was the moment when I noticed that he was standing in front of the balcony. In his hand, there was a half-finished cigarette that he dropped on the floor and walked towards me.

"Remove that." His order came as always stern and cold, his hand motioning to the white bathrobe I had on me.

"W-what?"

"Don't make me repeat myself, Athena." He took a few more steps until there was only one or two feet distance between us.

My hands began shaking in dismay but I pushed my hesitation away and undid the tie of the robe before I slowly let it slip off of me, it dropped on the floor causing the cold air breezing inside from the open balcony to hit my bare skin and instantly goosebumps covered my skin.

He looked up and down my naked body for a few minutes and then he decided to close the distance between us— He reached closer to me and let his fingers brush over my belly, moving down to my belly button and then my lower abdomen.

I sucked in a breath. His touch sent holts of shivers through my whole body.

He moved closer, grabbing my neck with his hand whilst his other hand dipped lower to touch my pušsy.

I bit down on my bottom lip, trying to not let out the embarrassingly loud moan that was on the verge of tearing through my throat. He leaned in and pressed his lips on my jaw.

Heat pooled in my bottom, the desire began taking over my mind, and the reason for this sudden remained evident in front of my eyes— I was not trying to resist his touch. My resistance was my pain and acceptance was a pleasure.

He rubbed my soaked folds, kissing and biting down my neck, adding fuel to the fire set on my body.

And finally, a moan slipped past my lips and Sebastian's movements stopped.

He tilted my face to look at me, and a strange impassive look plastered on his face.

"Power— The ability to control one's body, soul and mind," He spoke, "This is what power is. I can control you, the way I want, however, I want and that too by both pain and pleasure."

Suddenly his grip around my neck tightened making it impossibly hard for me to breathe yet I stood on my ground, not giving him any reaction whatsoever.

"But do you know why I prefer pain over pleasure, Athena? Because the way the memories pain will give you will stay as a nightmare but the ones you'll get from pleasure will not be the same, they can be the cause of guilt and shame but not as dreadful to imprint on your soul for eternity." He said through gritted teeth, "That is why I give you a new mark every day so that you always remember my hatred, the pain should keep haunting you every time you breathe and reside beside every beat of your heart."

The next thing I knew was that he picked me up and threw me on the bed, the very familiar rage seeped into his eyes.

He climbed up the bed and pinned my hands over my head, "I hate you, Athena. I fucking hate you."

And then he slammed his lips on mine, sealing them in a ferocious kiss. There was no gentleness in his kiss whatsoever, every swipe of his tongue and every graze of his lips were only causing me pain.

But I embraced it, I did not let him sense what I was going through and I kissed him back.

His body stiffened upon my response, and it took only a few seconds for him to break the kiss. His breathing turned ten times heavier as he gazed at me as if something about me scared him.

A growl rumbled in his chest as if to get something under control...

Yes! he was trying to resist my touch. He was trying to control his feelings....

He grabbed my breast under a bruising hold, painfully pinching my nipples and his other hand harshly parted my thighs and thrust his fingers inside my hole.

Unexpectedly a moan slipped past my lips this time. I had not expected myself to enjoy his touch but my body seemed to have a mind of its own.

My back arched and my eyes rolled to the back of my head, the surreal feeling made me forget everything for a while.

Sebastian's voice brought me back to reality, "You can never escape from the pain. NEVER."

He opened his trouser, and his cock set free. Maybe this was the first time I have got the courage to look at it and to be honest I was flabbergasted.

How did that thing ever fit inside me? It wasn't like this was the first time Sebastian was having sex with me. Surely none of it had been memories to behold but, I had never taken a look at him properly.

He pressed his tip at my entrance, holding eye contact as if to spot any specks of fear in my eyes but he found none, in rage he grabbed both sides of my hips and thrust his entire length with one swift thrust.

My lips formed an 'o' form, my eyes widened ever so slightly as the warmth crawled up my skin— There was no pain whatsoever, it was absolutely different from what I'd felt all these days.

I released a shaky breath, trying to understand all the surreal sensations that exploded inside of me from head to toe.

And then he began moving in and out with his massive length piercing me each time he dove deeper. My walls clenched around his member every time he thrust inside, all I could feel was pleasure. It was not pain, not even a drop of it— It was all about the sparks when his skin brushed against mine when I looked at where we were connected and even when his nails dug into my skin.

"Cry, Athena. I want to see your tears," He growled out and leaned to press his forehead against mine as he sped up. His hand grabbed my face to make sure I did not look away.

But I did not want to look away today....

I wanted to explore the depth of his sea-blue eyes that hid so many mysteries that I wanted to discover. The bed squeaked and squealed beneath us because of his rapid movements.

So I reached out and cupped his cheeks, breathing in his scent and feeling the sparks shoot through my body and for the first time, I felt Sebastian's shiver. His thrusts went off the rhythm for a second and he frantically inhaled a deep breath.

He attempted to move away but I cupped his face and pressed my lips to his ones. For the first time ever, I got to feel how soft his lips were and how perfect they felt against mine— What I felt was pure ecstasy, something I had never felt or experienced before. It made my toes curl and my heart swell.

I loved it....I loved every sensation I felt, every spark and scintilla.

Sebastian tried to tear away from my kiss but for once in a lifetime his strength was not enough, he was trying and I could feel his reluctance but it was not enough to make him succeed in pulling away.

I kissed him until both of us were gasping for air and then finally broke it, only to hold him close as I slipped my arms around him and buried my head in his neck.

His thrusts went rapid and wild, and I felt my orgasm edging closer.

I bit onto his shoulder to muffle my scream as my release finally hit me, but in the end, the loud moan broke through anyways, "Oh...Sebastian..."

I came spasming around his length, and his release followed by soon enough.

He grunted and emptied his seeds inside of me, filling me to the hilt and then he pulled out. Unlike all the other times he did not wait, not even for a second, he just looked at me one single time before he walked inside the bathroom and slammed the door shut.

I found myself sitting up even though I had no strength left whatsoever, I looked at the closed door of the bathroom, the sound of the shower running reaching my ears.

A sigh slipped past my lips and I pulled at the duvet to cover my naked body pressing my back against the headboard to support myself, my breathing was still heavy and shaky due to the aftershock but deep down I waiting for him to come outside.

I kept waiting and waiting until my eyes became feeling heavy....

But then I slowly fell into oblivion without even realising it.