His Fear

Sebastian


Cold water was not helping in calming my racing heart down. I did not if it was anger or what that made a venomous feeling spread through my entire chest, grasping me under its cage each time I took a breath.

I hated her. I hated her. I was supposed to hate her.

What did she mean to me? Nothing.

Emotions make people weak, it ruins them and their lives, it cages them in the false forever till they are either dead or....their lives are taken away from me— And I was not weak. I was not one of those who could be destroyed.

I was Sebastian Valdez— I got no emotions or attachments. My heart was cold as stone, I did not allow it to feel anything.

In all these years I have kept myself the way I was meant to be, I never let anyone shake me from my ground, then why would this one single woman be any matter to me? She might be my mate but she meant nothing to me, just nothing.

My thought began getting cut off and off the rhythm as Athena's face began flashing in front of my eyes. The sight of her hazel eyes and the words speaking through them, the way her lips pressed against mine and how her scent made the entire world dwindle for a brief moment.

I punched against the wall, suppressing my growl that fought to tear through my throat.

She should only mean a plaything to me. I enjoyed using her body that was it, and I was going to keep it like that no matter what it takes.

Athena Campbell can never mean anything more than a toy to me.

It was hard to tell if it was me talking or my fear.

Where was the hatred I'd seen in her eyes for me during all these days? Why wasn't she getting disgusted by me, showing me the resentment and loathing she has shown me?

What could have changed all of a sudden?

She was supposed to hate me and this was meant to be like that till the end. This way I could keep myself far away from the boundaries I could never cross.

But what I saw in her eyes today..... was not right, not for me, not for my restraints.

I needed to make her hate me once again. It'd be the power of hatred that'd overpower the domination of this mate pull.

Maybe the way I have treated her was not enough; I had always considered myself limitless then why all my intentions are fading away? Why am I feeling this reluctance to hurt her?

Athena meant nothing to me and I had to show her to get the situation in my favour.

If she stops hating me while my restrictions are falling apart, that'd be my demolition.

I needed to stay the same heartless sadistic monster I was—They called it a curse, but I call it a blessing. I am cursed and this is why I was alive till this date I'd let go of my life but not this curse from the moon goddess.

Blowing out a sigh, I turned off the shower and grabbed a towel around my torso before I walked out.

Unexpectedly my eyes fell on Athena sleeping with her head resting against the headboard and body covered with the duvet, whilst her hand hugged loose around herself.

There was something weirdly enchanting about the sleeping figure that managed to make my gaze settle on her. Despite all the marks and scars, I have given her, the shine on her skin still stood out of everything.

Before I even knew I found myself walking closer to her. My hand moved on its own to brush away the few pieces of hair strands that fell over her, the dark colour of her hair was gorgeous.

Her pink swollen lips were parted ever so slightly, and her chest steadily rose and fell as she breathe in and out.  She seemed to be in a deep doze, I'd never seen her this relaxed and the reason was I did not want to see her like this.

In the way that caused me to fall weak...Each glance at her felt torturous, making the knot between my chest even tighter than before.

I slipped my hand around the back of her head, grabbing her hand carefully, not exactly knowing why I did not want to wake her up. And I slowly made her lay on the bed, covering her body with the duvet that'd slipped away.

I attempted to stand up and walk into the closet but suddenly I felt a soft hold around my wrist.

My heartbeats quickened, not because of how good her skin felt against mine or how the sparks shot through every cell of my body, it was because of fear.

I did not want to face her right now because if I had to, it'd be very much possible for her to discover the most vulnerable part of me that I had buried deep inside of me.

I turned around, intending to yank my hand away but when I did turn around I noticed that she was still asleep. The mere difference was that she'd shifted in her sleep and clutched onto my hand with both of hers.

"Mom...Dad, please don't do this," She whimpered, "You know what they'll do to me...They'll...."She didn't finish her sentence instead a tear rolled down her cheek.

She squeezed my hand tighter, reluctant to let go at any cost.

Rage prompted within me in a strange way. Her tears should fall, but only because of me. None else was allowed to be the reason for her tears. It should be me, only me!

My jaw clenched, and my teeth ground together. There was an urge to know the reason why she was exactly crying because of her parents but I couldn't ask her, nor did I want to ask her because I did not give a fuck about what she has gone through...or maybe it was the other way around.

Her whimpers came to a stop after a few seconds and her hold on my hand loosened, I took the moment to pull my hand away and walk into the closet.

I pushed Athena completely away from my thoughts and slipped on my t-shirt and trousers before I finally headed out of the room.

As I walked down the stairs, making my way to the library, slowly the memories of my past began creeping their way back through the cracks. The malicious laugh of that monster and the cries of my mother were the first things that shrouded my mind.

I walked into the library, turning only one of the lights on and reached for the bookshelves. My movements started becoming shaky as I pulled out those books from the shelves. I grabbed my mother's picture from the drawer and placed the books on the table, hurriedly turning the pages to find the notes.

I have been doing this my whole life, looking through her letters and reminding myself of the reason I was supposed to keep holding onto this curse. It was sowed in my memories on which books and pages her notes were, but somehow every time I came here even though it was an event for me every night, I still found myself in panic and rush.

My restlessness would climb up the ridge.

I grabbed a chair for myself and started reading through each of her letters like every other night. My fingertips brushed over her handwriting, and the absence of her warmth and touch made the pain spread through.

I couldn't save my mother.....

I couldn't save her from that monster. She spent her whole life fighting for me and in return, she got nothing except for a dreadful death.

In every note of hers, there was only concern for me, her fear and apprehension regarding my future and what I'd do in her absence.

I read everything she wrote, each of the words she wrote, and I read them over and over again.

Holding her picture frame, I looked at her smiling face. This was one of the two pictures of hers I have with myself, the other one was the one I always kept with myself. I did not have many of her belongings, in fact, nothing except for the two photos I once managed to hide from that brute Elijah who burned every belonging of my mom after her demise.

If only I could bring that monster back from his grave and kill him again!

But I knew, it was not possible. The years that have gone by and the things that have happened can't be reversed, and neither I'd get the chance to kill that brute again nor I was going to be able to see my mother again.

I looked at my mom's handwriting, it was the last letter she got the chance to write...

The last sentence of her last letter was what I have made the only meaning of my life.

"I hope he won't allow the world to snatch his happiness and cage him in the darkness like me"

Yes, I might not have any feelings left within me but I haven't allowed this world to snatch my happiness or anything from me and the darkness is what I have caged by myself.