Confession And Weakness

Athena



When I woke up I found myself on the bed alone. The rays from the sun were responsible for waking me up.

Yawning I rubbed my eyes to wipe away the drowsiness and got down from the bed. My mood was not as heavy as all the other times because last night had not been tough for me, everything that'd happened was within a limit and that is why I have not woken up with a huge weight over my chest and terrible memories.

The only unpleasant thing was the dream about my parents. It was basically a flashback of what they'd done to me and sold me to those auctioneers just because I did not have a wolf. But on the brighter side, I actually got to feel my wolf nowadays, and it'd only happen when Sebastian would be around me, his presence triggers my wolf's emotions. 

However, I was still not sure how I got out of that dreadful dream, but I sure felt a soft caress in my sleep; The warmth of someone that helped bring peace to my soul.

Shrugging my thoughts away, I freshened up and took a quick shower before I slipped on my clothes and began to dry my hair when the knock on the door diverted my attention.

I walked out of the bathroom, with my hair still half dry and saw a maid waiting at the doorway.

"Mam, Alpha wants you to be at the breakfast table, now." She spoke with her head low, the emphasis on the last word 'now' was enough to tell me that I did not have the chance to excuse myself for a few more minutes.

"Okay, you can go. I'll be there."

She nodded and left. I fixed the zip of my dress that I did not know I'd left unzipped till now and headed downstairs.

There was a gut-twisting nervousness that I felt whilst heading to the dining room— I had not had much of a nice experience there. But, I did not want to escape from this situation either, because if I did manage to somehow turn away from this I'd not be able to get away from my fear.

To get Sebastian out of the hold of his curse, I needed to help him get rid of his fears first and if I couldn't get rid of mine then how was I even supposed to succeed?

I took a deep breath as I went down the stairs and it took me less than a few minutes to see the sight of Sebastian sitting in the chair at the head of the huge table.

There was a minimum distance of more than a few feet distance between me and Sebastian, yet when his eyes moved to look at me I felt them looking right through my soul.

He'd worn a black shirt, and on the armrest of his chair, there was his light grey coat that almost matched the colour of the smoke of his cigar from which he took a puff every few seconds.

I slowly made my way towards him, it hadn't slipped away from my mind where I'd sat last time, the chair on his left.

My hands moved to pull the chair but before I could do that, Sebastian's voice stopped me.

"That's not where you are going sit, Athena," His tone was extremely cold and low, enough to send chills of panic down my spine.

I looked at him, perplexed and somewhat in dismay.

He did not say anything in response, instead, he beckoned me to get nearer.

My throat dried up like a dessert, nonetheless, I walked up to him with small and measured steps.

My body stopped moving on its own when I was a few steps away from completely closing the distance between us. It was not exactly because of fear, the reason was my suspicion of what was going on in his mind.

"Closer." He spoke, taking a whiff of the cigarette and blowing the smoke in the air.

The earthy and ashy smell hit my nose and made me want to cover it instantly, but I remained unable to do so because at that moment I'd force my body to do another task, take those few nervous steps towards him.

I'd just stood beside him and the next second, he pushed his chair backwards and grabbed my wrist before he made me land on his lap with one swift movement.

I gasped out loud, my head felt dizzy in shock and my heartbeats speed up by ten times. It took me a few moments to realize what'd happened but when I realized it, it was just too late for me to contain myself.

We were close, too close.

My lips were inches apart from touching his, my chest was wholly pressed against his due to my hand clutching onto his shirt for support. I could not get the courage to breathe but when I finally did, I had not expected the smell of the smoke to be overpowered by his cologne.

It was hard to tear my gaze away from his enchanting features when he was this close, my whole world came to a halt as if it was only him. that meant everything to me.

Suddenly a howl rang inside my head, surprising me so much that I nearly flinched. I found myself looking around to spot where the howl had come from, but when I saw nothing I finally realized that it came from....my inside.

To say I was shocked, it'd be an understatement but I did not get the time to think about it much because Sebastian's touch diverted my attention soon enough.

He brushed his fingers over my knee, raising my dress to reveal my thighs.

I sucked in a breath, the sexual began building the second his skin brushed against mine. My mind went into a frenzy.

He grabbed my thigh with one hand and moved the other one to grab the back of my neck. His hold on my neck soon released itself as he decided to get a hold of a fistful of my hair.

He buried his nose in the crook of my neck, inhaling my scent as if he was trying to get drugged by this alone.

His fingers moved closer to my inner thighs and the heat spread through my body, carving into my skin and making the butterflies erupt in my stomach.

I leaned into his touch, my hand slipped around his neck on its own. As if he'd read my mind, his lips pressed right against the skin on my neck and he began with his sensual torture. From kissing to sucking and biting, his lips moved in all sorts of ways and a small sound that was even lower than a whisper left my mouth.

I wanted him closer, I wanted him to be as close as possible.

There was no fear within me even though neither his grip on my thigh nor his kisses were anywhere near gentle. I did not want to push him away because that was not what was going to help us escape from our demons, it was closeness and longing that'd do that.

However, it took less than a few minutes for Sebastian's grip to change into an extremely painful one.

He yanked at my hair to force me to look at him and his bruising grip on my thigh made my skin burn. A whimper automatically slipped past my lips.

"What are you trying to do, Athena?" He asked, there was a dead stillness in his orbs. He looked dangerous, I had seen his rage so many times but today it was different.

"What do you mean?" I managed to question.

"How come all your hatred for me disappeared within a day? You are the same person who was resisting my touch even two days ago, the same person for whom I was nothing but a cursed monster, then what happened all of a sudden that you are acting so different?"

His voice was dangerously low and this time I felt fear crawling up my insides.

I had the answers to all of his questions but I just couldn't tell him. Telling him the reasons was the last thing I wanted to do.

However one of them left my mouth on its own, "I want to understand you."

His jaw tightened for some reason and the darkness in his eyes increased, "Why?"

"Because I'm trying to love you...." It left my mouth before I could even stop it.

If it was the darkness that I saw in his eyes a few moments ago, this time it was a deadly storm that rose in those blue spheres.

Then what happened, was all a blur. In the speed of the wind, he'd grabbed the sides of my waist and turned me around he set me on the table and stood between my legs, pushing away the plates in the progress that caused them all to land on the floor and shatter into pieces.

"Love me?" The chuckle that left his mouth was dark and full of venom, "Have you forgotten how much I hate you or you are really trying to look past it for your own motives? What is your motive, Athena?"

I mustered all my courage to make the next words leave my mouth, "I want my mate....that's my only intention."

"Mate?" He laughed, "How many times do I have to tell you that I don't give two flying fucks about this bond? By saying all of these you are just making a fool of yourself and proving how pathetic you are."

"If wanting my mate makes me pathetic then I am okay with being called pathetic," I grabbed his collars and pulled him close to look into his eyes, "My whole life I have waited for my mate, thinking that one day he'll be the reason for me to live my life once again, he'll be my hope. You can't just snatch it all away from me....you can't do this, Sebastian."

"I can do anything, Athena. You don't even know how far I can go, and what I can do." He seethed, his nails digging into my hips, "Don't push me more than you can handle."

"I don't care about what you will do to me, I just want my mate the way he is supposed to be. Not hiding underneath a disguise of a heartless man. I want the Sebastian Valdez who is beneath this facade, not the sadistic man you pretend to be." I cupped his face and pressed my forehead against his, "I don't want this cursed sadistic alpha, I want you. The real you, my mate."

I heard him suck in a breath, his breathing turned heavier and his teeth grind together, "This is the real me. I am who I am, nothing can ever change the way I am."

"Why? What are you getting by living like this? Give me a chance, Sebastian. Just let me in, once," My lips quivered, "There is so much more to see in this world rather than darkness, don't let your fears snatch it from you."

"I have got no fears!" He growled, slamming his hands on the table, pulling away from me and taking a few steps back, "Get out of the world you have created inside your head. I'm not a helpless traumatized man, I am aware of what I do and what I am doing. Don't fucking try to be a saviour. I chose this path I am in today, it was my choice and it still is and it always will be."

I could notice the shaking of his hand and the heavy rise and fall of his chest, he was restless, unmistakably perturbed. And this made me fall into a dilemma of whether I should speak more or not.

"You might not have many fears, but whether you admit it or not there's one of your fears that I know and can see and that is love." Soon as the sentence left my mouth, Sebastian's muscles tightened and he stilled on his spot.

His unnerving gaze did not remain as strong as before. It was as if I'd hit the weakest spot to ever exist within him.

The swerving gaze of his limpid eyes and his restless breathing did not let me stay in my place anymore. I got off the table and took a few steps towards him.

"Emotions are not what you need protection from, it's your inner demons," I reached and caressed his jaw. Unexpectedly his eyes closed and he leaned into my touch.

"Don't do this to yourself, Sebastian. Push away your fears for once, please."

He opened his eyes upon my statement and grabbed my hand that was under his jaw before he slipped his hand around my waist and pulled me close to him.

My chest came colliding against his one, and a soft gasp left my mouth.

Under his intense gaze, my entire world fell empty for a while. And then he leaned in, beginning to close the distance between our lips.

I found myself closing my eyelids as well, as we both began leaning in but then a sound of loud footsteps interrupted both of us.

Sebastian pushed me away all of a sudden, and my back hit the edge of the chair causing me to whimper in pain, he looked at me wide-eyed, looking frightened, and I saw the vigorous shaking of his hands. He seemed as if he couldn't believe what he was just doing, I could see it through his terrified gaze.

The curse! The curse was holding onto him once again.

Before I could attempt to walk closer to him, Sebastian's Beta Aaron entered the room.

"Alpha, we think we have found the location where Vincent is hiding," He spoke, looking at Sebastian, "We need to go there before he can escape."

Sebastian's entire demeanour changed. He just turned the same as before, the same cold Sebastian I knew. The warmth, the emotions, everything was gone in a second.

He deflected his stare from me and grabbed his coat from the armrest, "Let's get going, we have to catch that bastard at any cost."

Without another glance at me, Sebastian walked out of the room. His beta looked at me for a second but then he too followed him, walking out of the room as well.

And soon, I was left to suffer in silence like all the other time.