Chapter 17 - Nadia

I shared a look with Dorian across the stage. Tatiana’s wails and Director Atkins’ shouting filled the theater.
The light was huge. I had no idea how much it weighed, but one thing was certain: it was enough to crush a human like a beer can.
Tatiana had almost died. If her footwork hadn’t been sloppy, she probably would have been crushed. At the very least, severely wounded.
It could have been me.
A random light crashing onto stage. Tatiana was closer to being hit, but I was only a few feet off. A little extra randomness and I might be a red smear on the stage right now. Or if I had been practicing Tatiana’s lines instead of her, and my footwork was crisper…
I shook off the thought, because the longer I thought about it the more it made me want to curl up in the fetal position backstage.
“HOW?” Tatiana was screaming at anyone and everyone. “How could this happen? WHO DID THIS?”
Atkins turned his attention from yelling at Andy and Ryan to console her. He knelt at her side and said, “Tatiana, dear, everything is fine. A simple accident…”
Tatiana changed from despondent to furious like someone had thrown a switch. “I cannot work under these conditions! I will not work like this!”
She stormed backstage. Atkins followed, trying desperately to calm her down.
Everyone seemed to realize at once that if one light fell, more could follow. The rest of the cast dispersed backstage or out into the audience, looking over their heads to ensure they weren’t underneath anything heavy.
Only Andy and Ryan stayed. Both of them peered up at the catwalks as if wondering what the hell could have happened.
“It wasn’t the same group of lights,” Ryan finally said. “We never even touched that truss.”
“I know.” Andy removed his glasses and cleaned them on the edge of his shirt. He put them back on and said, “What could have happened? It cannot be a coincidence since we just replaced and cleaned all the housing in the group next to it…”
I suddenly remembered the noise Dorian and I had heard before rehearsal. Before I could bring it up, Atkins stormed back out.
“I want to see both of you in my office,” he said, biting off every word. He raised his voice for everyone else and said, “Rehearsal is over.”
Everyone dispersed. I grabbed my bag and headed for the exit numbly.
I had a shift at the bar tonight, so instead of heading for the subway station I began walking east. I realized my hand was shaking. Someone had almost died right in front of me.
I was shaken up. Tonight might be one of those nights where I pour myself a shot for each one I pour for a customer. Nothing like some Johnnie Walker to calm a woman’s nerves. I’d never been close to someone dying before. The closest thing was in the subway when I first moved to the city and an old man tripped and almost fell in front of a train. This was a lot more personal.
“You okay?”
Braden’s voice made me jump. I hadn’t noticed him falling in beside me. “I’m fine.”
“Your hand is shaking.”
I realized I was clutching my phone in my hand, and it was indeed trembling. I shoved it in my purse, wishing my yoga pants had pockets.
“Okay. I’m a little shaken up.”
“That was fucking crazy,” Braden said. He stared straight ahead, with a vacant look in his eyes. “Can you imagine if it had hit her?”
“I know,” I said dryly. “It would’ve ruined her hair.”
The moment the words were out of my mouth, I was afraid they were too dark. Thankfully Braden chuckled.
“She really has her priorities straight, huh?”
“Getting killed is bad, but having a perfectly good blow-out ruined is unforgivable. Do you think Ryan will get in trouble?”
“I don’t know.”
“It’s a pretty big fuck-up,” I said.
Braden shrugged. “I know Ryan. He’s sarcastic, and a huge pain in the ass when it comes to doing his share of the dishes, but he’s one of the hardest workers I know. He checks everything three times. If I were a betting man, I’d bet the house on this not being his fault. Something else caused it.”
I considered telling him about the noise we’d heard in the catwalks before rehearsal, but then something else struck me. “Where are you going? The Q-train is back that way.”
“I could ask you the same thing.”
“I’ve got a shift at the bar tonight.”
Braden smiled down at me. God, he had a great smile. “You looked shaken up, so I wanted to make sure you were okay.”
I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Condensation puffed in front of my face. “Yeah, I’m okay. At least, I think so. I might be in shock.”
He stopped, and I stopped with him. He put a reassuring hand on my arm. “If that changes, let me know. See you back at home.” He turned and went back the other way.
Home. The place where we would all be later tonight. The word felt different on his tongue. There was actual meaning behind it. Safety, and welcomeness. Home.
I walked into the bar and frowned. Robbie was pouring drinks behind the bar. His face lit up when he saw me.
“I thought Claire was working tonight,” I said.
Robbie placed a beer in front of Jack, who gave me a friendly wave. “Girl, I called her and took her shift because I wanted to hear about your date with Braden!”
“Oh,” I said as I hung my coat and purse on the peg behind the bar. A sudden bout of embarrassment filled me at the thought of explaining my new situation. Agreeing to be a whole bunch of different things to four different guys in exchange for room and board sounded a lot sluttier out loud than it did in my head. Hell, it practically made me a prostitute.
Not to mention that Braden and I had fucked our brains out in the subway.
“It’s a boring story,” I said.
Robbie was having none of that. “Nadia, I canceled plans to go clubbing tonight so I could hear about your happily ever after. I’m not going to stop nagging you until I hear it.”
“You canceled plans because you’re broke and need the extra shifts,” I pointed out.
“She’s got you there!” Jack barked from his bar stool. I gave him a look of thanks.
Robbie narrowed his eyes at me. “If it’s a boring story, then make some embellishments for my benefit. But start talking!”
I ignored him and turned to Jack. “How’re you doing, Jack? Are things better with your son?”
“Same as before. Not good—still won’t return my calls. Now, I don’t want to pry, but I feel awfully invested in your story too,” Jack said. “No pressure if you’re embarrassed, but…”
I sighed. I could tell them we had a drink, laughed about getting matched up on Tinder, and then went home. But I was a terrible liar. Besides, I only now realized I hadn’t told anyone about their intriguing proposition. And I wanted to tell someone.
So I did.
Robbie’s mouth opened wider and wider with each word. When I was done, he closed his mouth with a click. “Okay, honey? I wanted some embellishment, not a full-blown fictional story.”
I held up my hand. “Swear to God. BRAD was short for Braden, Ryan, Andy, and Dorian. One profile for four guys.”
“They want to share you?” Robbie said. “Like a freaking Netflix account?”
Jack waved a hand. “There’s nothing to feel strange about. My wife and I used to attend key parties in Brooklyn when we were younger. You know what a key party is?” He leaned forward on the bar. “All the men put their car keys in a bowl. At the end of the night, the women drew keys, and that’s who they went home with.”
“Creepy 70s swinger parties are one thing,” Robbie said. “This is four times the number of dicks.”
Jack perked up. “Oh, we had parties where we dabbled in—”
Robbie made a hissing noise and stuck his palm out like he was halting traffic. “This is Nadia’s storytime. We can do you another night.”
Jack shrugged and gestured for me to continue.
“I stayed there last night,” I said. “You should see this place! It’s a brownstone on the upper east side. Four floors and a rooftop deck.”
“Nadia…”
“Oh! And a garden! Did I mention the garden? Because it has a garden. That’s important.”
“Nadia!” Robbie snapped. “You actually accepted it? You…” He trailed off, dumbfounded.
“It’s just a trial run,” I quickly added. “They said I can give it a try, and only do what I’m comfortable with. It’s all up to me. So far all we’ve shared is Chinese food.”
Robbie was still giving me a skeptical look. “And you’re willing to lead the others along for a chance at something with Braden?”
Lead the others along. I thought about the other men. Dorian, with his dancing and dramatic flair. Andy’s thoughtful eyes and calm demeanor. I hadn’t gotten to know Ryan yet, but based solely on how he looked I was intrigued by his part of the proposition as well. Better him than a rando from the bar. And having him right across the hall from my bedroom expedited the entire thing.
“I’m curious,” I said carefully. “About all of it. I want to hear them out and see where it goes.”
“Hashtag feminism,” Jack said, raising his drink. “If you were a man doing that with women they’d call you Hugh Heffner. Do whatever you want.”
I cocked my head. “That’s really nice of you to say, Jack.”
“Don’t judge a creepy old man by his looks.”
Robbie was still giving me that concerned look. “Nadia. Honey. A gorgeous brownstone with four hunks is literally my dream scenario. But I worry you’re in over your head. Individual relationships are tricky. Four at the same time…”
“Well then it’s a good thing it’s all out on the table,” I said. “Ryan just wants a fuck buddy. Andy wants a deeper relationship…”
“Right,” Robbie said, rolling his eyes. “Because relationships always stay as simple as you expect.”
“There is the concern of sleeping with your cast mates,” Jack suddenly said. “Work relationships are a lot of risk. Trust me.”
“You sound like you’re speaking from personal experience.”
Jack sipped his drink and shrugged. “Well, I dated a woman in my office once upon a time.”
“What happened?”
“I ended up marrying her,” he replied.
I pointed at Jack and glared at Robbie. “See? Look at Jack!”
But Jack was still talking. “Let’s see. That was my first marriage. Lasted two years. No, three, since we split up over Thanksgiving of ‘79. Then I married my second wife—also a colleague!—which lasted about four years…”
Jack went on with his story, but Robbie only looked at me with concern, both then and for the rest of the night while we served drinks behind the bar.