Chapter 54 - Nadia

I dressed and went to the bathroom, and then sauntered back out into the garden. Dorian was on the loveseat now, so I plopped down next to him and cuddled up against his warm body. He wrapped an arm around me and held me closer.
There was no awkwardness anymore. It had already diminished thanks to our rehearsal together, but now it was like we’d dropped an atom bomb on the remains. Sometimes the only way to get rid of sexual tension was to actually, you know, have sex.
“Well then,” Dorian said poetically. “What shall we do now?”
“I’m happy just sitting here, enjoying the night,” I purred. “As long as you keep me warm.”
He held me closer, but said, “What I meant was: what shall we do about us? Our relationship?”
I shrugged into his body. “You tell me. I thought you were still getting over your ex. Heather.”
I tensed as I waited for his reply. My body shifted against his as he took a deep breath and let it out.
“Do you know about time delay? In astronomy?”
“Uh, what?”
He was staring up at the night sky. The light pollution from being in the middle of New York made it impossible to see all but a couple of stars.
“Light isn’t instantaneous. It moves at, well, the speed of light. It takes about eight minutes for light from the sun to reach earth, for example. Stars that are farther away have a much longer time delay. Hundreds, thousands, or even millions of years.” He pointed straight up. “The North Star is only a few hundred light-years away. That means it could explode tomorrow, but thanks to time delay we wouldn’t know until the year 2400.”
“This is all fascinating,” I said, “but I can’t help but notice you’re avoiding the question about your ex.”
He tilted his head down to look at me. “I’m over her. I’ve been over her for a little while now. It just took me some time to realize I was over her. Like a time delay.” He kissed me on the forehead. “Being with you helped me become certain of that.”
“So I’m not a rebound?” I teased.
“Well, you might be. But I’m over my ex.”
I tickled him under the arm, making him squirm. I stopped when Dorian snatched my wrist and held it away from his ribs.
“So back to the original question,” he said. “What shall we do about this?”
I gave his man-bun a squeeze. “Sorry, but I don’t think I can be with a man who has one of these. Chop your hair off and then we’ll talk.”
He made an offended noise and moved his hands to protect his man-bun.
“I’m kidding! It was a joke.” I waited for him to relax before I went on. “The four-person proposition you guys made to me is unusual.”
“Understatement of the century.”
“What I mean is that you never see relationships laid out ahead of time: you and I are going to be platonic friends, Ryan and I are going to have a physical relationship, Andy and I are going to be serious. Most relationships aren’t defined up front like that. Two people start dating or hanging out, and they see where it goes. Why don’t we do that?”
“See where it goes?”
“Sure. No expectations, just you and me and whatever we want to do. Especially the friendship part—because I love having you as a friend. I don’t want to lose that.”
“Me neither.” He smiled and stuck out his hand. “Deal?”
I shook it. “Deal.”
Dorian pulled me into a long kiss. Not the kind of kiss that was meant to initiate anything deeper, but one that was great all on its own. I sighed into his mouth and wished it could go on forever.
But of course it couldn’t. Eventually Dorian pulled away and brought me back to reality.
“That’s one relationship resolved,” he said. “Now what about Braden?”
I groaned. “Don’t remind me. I have no idea what’s going on there.”
“He’ll come around,” Dorian replied. “He probably just needs time. He’s close with his mom, so last night’s fireworks probably require a lot of mending.”
“I suppose.”
“Look on the bright side. His parents probably believe he’s straight now! So he doesn’t have that problem to worry about anymore.”
“Right,” I said dryly. “He’s moved from one problem to the next. Maybe we can keep shuffling his issues around each day, like someone moving debt from one credit card to the next.”
Dorian was quiet for a few moments. “You like him, don’t you?”
I let out a bitter chuckle. “I already told you we were together in the subway.”
“That’s not what I asked,” he said carefully. “You like him, like him. Don’t you?”
I was sick of keeping my emotions and concerns and anxieties to myself, so I answered truthfully and without hesitation. “I’ve had a big crush on Braden ever since I moved in. It’s been tough because I have no idea how he feels about me, and whether the sex we had was purely physical or indicative of something deeper.”
“Have you talked to him?”
“I confronted him about it the other day,” I replied, “and he told me he wasn’t sure how he felt. And then he said we would see how dinner with his parents went, and go from there.”
Dorian winced. “Yikes.”
“In other words, I totally fucking blew it.”
“And you’re filling the Braden-shaped hole in your heart with the next best thing: your dashing roommate Dorian.”
I slapped him on the arm. “That’s not what I’m doing. You and I kissed before I blew things with him.” I glanced up at him. “In all seriousness, how do you feel about all of this? The fact that I’m in some sort of relationship with all four of you?”
“I won’t say it’s the most conventional relationship I’ve ever been in, but I’m not weirded out by it,” he said quietly. “If anything, I’m the one stealing a slice of their pie—pun intended—since I was only supposed to be friends with you. I feel like I’m playing with house money.”
I put my hand on his chest. “That’s good to hear. One less thing for me to worry about.”
He stroked my hair. “Braden will come around. He just needs some time.”
“I hope so.”
“And hey,” he added. “Braden has an easy way out. All he has to do is tell his parents he broke up with you over how you treated his mom. They’ll be convinced that he’s straight, and you won’t have to pretend to be his girlfriend anymore.”
I glared at him. “That solves his problem. But it doesn’t solve things between Braden and me.”
“Oh. Well, um, it’s something at least, right?”
It’s not the thing I want solved, I thought as I looked up at the sky.