Chapter 35 - Dorian

The three assholes were nowhere in sight as we left the bar. Nadia and I backtracked two blocks and decided it wasn’t worth risking it to retrieve the remainder of our fliers, so we got right on the train back to Brooklyn.
By the time we sat down, an uncomfortable feeling was in the air. The kind that I’d been trying to avoid.
I wasn’t ready. I knew it, despite whatever emotions I felt in the moment with Nadia. Intellectually, I was over Heather, but emotions were always a few horse-lengths behind what a person knew they should feel. It sucked, but it’s just the way it was. And right now I knew that if I tried anything with Nadia, it would probably turn into a rebound relationship.
Growing up, I’d had friends who didn’t know how to be single. As soon as they were out of one relationship, they jumped into the next one as quick as they could because they were terrified of being alone. Having dated Heather for nearly a decade, I’d never had an opportunity to be tested like that. But now I was, and I knew that I didn’t want to rush into the next one.
Especially not with a girl like Nadia.
Holy flaming shit, she felt good.
I didn’t want Nadia to be a rebound. She was more special than that. The full package—fun, smart, and smoking hot. The kind of girl you courted and protected and married. The girl you had waited your whole life to take home to mom and dad.
And I might have just fucked it up.
The silence on the train stretched, and my dread grew with every passing second. We were supposed to just be friends. Simple as can be. Those were boundaries we had set for Nadia, expectations for her to go by. And I’d thrown it away in the heat of a moment right after we had almost gotten the shit kicked out of us.
But she had kissed me back just as hard…
“I can’t believe you were going to defend yourself with a fork,” I said when the silence became unbearable.
“That bad boy had four teeth,” Nadia said defensively. “Not just a three-tooth fork. Four. Those street magicians wouldn’t know what hit them.”
“Is that what they were? Magicians?”
She nodded. “I think so, based on their uniforms and the boxes they had.”
I forced a chuckle. “It would’ve been awfully embarrassing to get our asses kicked by an angry mob of magicians.”
“They would’ve held us down and pulled coins out of our ears until we screamed for mercy.”
“They’d find our bodies strangled with never-ending strands of handkerchiefs.”
We laughed, but it was a nervous laugh from two people who were avoiding a topic. We’d been staring straight ahead while talking, so when Nadia turned to face me it was extra intense.
“Dorian…”
Suddenly I was terrified of having this discussion. No matter how good she had felt in the moment, I wanted to go back to the safety of our budding friendship. I couldn’t risk ruining the whole arrangement the four of us had with Nadia. I wouldn’t make that mistake.
“It was just the heat of the moment,” I blurted out, cutting her off. “Nothing to it. We were both just overly excited to not get our asses kicked by magicians.”
Her eyes were round and beautiful as she blinked at me. I wished I knew what was going on behind them. The thoughts swirling within.
“The heat of the moment,” she finally said. “Alright.”
The train rumbled on.
“We might want to kill some time before getting our pay,” I said. “If we return too quickly they’ll get suspicious.”
Nadia abruptly jumped out of her seat. “I think, um, that I might maybe go to Central Park early to meet Andy.”
My heart sank. “Yeah, good idea.”
“Can you collect my pay?”
“They might not let me,” I said.
The train was screeching to a stop. Nadia looked at the door. “That’s alright. If they do, then great, but it’s not the end of the world if they don’t.”
“Not the end of the world,” I repeated.
And just like that, she was gone.