Chapter 22: The depression

So much pain engulfed my being, the Only thing I wanted at that moment was to be free from so much pain, I just want to forget about everything, I don't know what to do, I hoped deep within me that everything would be alright, I tried as much as possible to calm down that's when I heard the voice of Bob resonates through the midnight air.
"Please don't leave me, I have been such a fool". He said.
Was surprised and couldn't believe my ears and what I heard and I muttered no, maybe it was just my imagination or my mind playing tricks on me.
“Did I just hear well or maybe I didn't, it's just an imagination,” I said.
Then as I lay back down on my bed thinking about how am I supposed to leave him after getting used to him, it's just been months and it feels like it's been ages of knowing him and even knowing he never loved me or wants me in his life but deep down I know I love him, then I heard the same Bob voice echoing in the silence from the door saying “please don't leave me, I have been such a fool,” this time it felt so real and I thought I heard it then I jumped up from the bed and ran to the door, open the door hoping to see him standing by the door only to open the door to find no one just an empty door post and silence, I was so disappointed and then I know that my mind was playing a trick on me and that I am so in to him that the thought of him have consumed me, then went back to my bed to lay down, trying to close my eyes and sleep, but sleep and was very far from me, I tried all I could to sleep but all to no avail only to find myself struggling to even close my eyes not even for a minute.
All night I stayed awake even the alcohol was not able to put me to bed my eyes were all wide open, then decided to walk to the sitting room, not knowing what to do, on the thought of him have clouded my mind.
“Bob what have you done to me, I can neither think straight or about anything else except you, even knowing you never wanted me or even loved me, but yet find myself dying for you,” I said.
As I walked into the sitting room, my eyes just went straight to the wall clock on the wall by the wine shelf and the was fifteen minutes past three in the morning and I decided to take another drink and on getting to the wine shelf I spotted him seated by the corner of the shelf and I stopped couldn't move any further because I wouldn't want to face him again and this time don't know the type or kin of words he might use on me again, wanted going back to my room only to hear him say “Cynthia what have you done to me, I can't seem to get you off my mind, I have come to love you so much that the thought of you have consumed my whole being, not being able to think straight and whenever I see you with another man my heart break into pieces, what and why do I feel this way about you for I have never been like this in a long while, I have everything, a successful businessman with a company worth billions of dollars and can get any woman I like. But why you, why can't I get you off my mind and I don't want her to go,” he said.
Hearing that my heart was filled with so much joy, that I wished I could just express my feelings by going to him, hugging him, kissing him and all things I could do to show my love for him, but yet again I can't help to feel rejected by him but the feeling is too much and I couldn't help it then I walk to him majestically and slowly from the back and hugged him and then kiss his cheek and said.
“I don't want to go as well, because I love you too,” I said.
Furiously he turned and looked at me with anger and said.
“What are you talking about, you love who, me, I think you must be out of your mind,” he said.
“Why are you tormenting me this much, you said you don't love me and I am not your class or type of girl, but you don't want to let me be, you are being over-possessive, you don't want to see me with other guys and you always want to have your way with me even after knowing I have never been with a man before, why,”? I asked.
“I don't know what the fuck you are talking about, I have never told you I love, so just keep your feelings to yourself and like you said you will be leaving first thing tomorrow morning and so shall it be,” he said.
“So this is it, you act so jealously whenever you see me with another man, and you are scared to tell me your feelings and how or what you feel about me not to even to tell me you love me or do I look like a toy to you, wait is that what you take me for, a toy that you can come always play and have fun with any time you are in the mood and feeling sexy or any time your dick gets hard,” I said.
Angrily he walked away without saying a thing, I was so embarrassed and dumbfounded because I have been played yet again for a fool and this time I have let my feelings clouded my judgement allowing to me to fall a victim. I just hate myself for falling so cheaply into the hands of the wrong men, but it's a leson to learn for me and I have learnt it the hard way, but next time I won't fall a victim again.
Disappointed and embarrassed at the same time and out of frustration I went to the wine shelf took out a bottle of dry gin without caring for a glass pulled off the cover and poured some quantity into my mouth which left me frowning my face for some minutes then swallowed it up, then I said to myself.
“Does he really matter, do I have to kill myself for someone who doesn't care about me, do I have to think about him that much,”? I asked.
Many questions were just running through my mind like why? Why, and why? But I can't seem to figure out or lay my hands on the answer as to the why I love him so much that I can't seem to get an answer to the question. As I was wallowing in my thought I felt a grip, someone grabbed me from the back and when I turned it was him, Bob trying to kiss me and make me vulnerable this time, but I held back and never gave him that satisfaction, the more he tries the more I resist him and there we were hung right on each other and Emilia walked in on us.
“Just let her be, you claimed you don't love her and that she's a nobody and not your class but yet you want to have your way with her,” she said.
I felt so ashamed and embarrassed and my heart was pounding so fast and I was shaking, had it been Emilia didn't come out I wouldn't have been able to hold on to resist him any longer I would have fallen again because by the touch of his hands alone I am already dripping wet in between my legs I don't how he used to do that his hands were so magical that only a touch from him income myself so fucking wet and soak led in my panties and my nipples become so hard and pointing to the extent that if I wasn't putting on a bra you could see the size of my nipples through my shirt that's to yell you how magical his touch could be.
“I wasn't trying to have my way with her or anything as such I was only biding her fair well, since she's leaving and quitting her job, that's all it was only a friendly hug,” he said.
“A friendly hug, you said, but to me, I didn't see that as such. I only saw someone who is trying to force himself on a lady who he claimed he never loved, and try explore her week spot and make her vulnerable which is very bad as man,” Emilia said.
“As he clear his throat, I don't I have an idea of what you are talking about, and I did no such thing,” he said as he walks way.