13 | Why, God, why?

**SIENNA**

Once the crowd of hormone-laden girls scattered away to their respective dorms, I prepared myself to get ready for Mass.
I was in a surprisingly good mood to fuck with anyone else on the floor, especially Irene, and I did not attempt to alter the school uniform. I wore it exactly the way it should have been - the skirt touching the knees, the shirt tucked in respectably, and the socks pulled up.
We marched out of the dorms and five minutes later gathered in the assembly hall before heading towards the church. Apparently, a specific order of queue must be followed. It was ranked by seniority of the class as I watched every chattering group of girls were herded out of the hall and towards the church.
There were too many faces, too many strangers I didn’t connect with, and somehow, it made me claustrophobic. Growing up, I realised something about myself: that my suffocation has something to do with people and not confined spaces. And I didn’t even bother to consult with a shrink to find out about the real issue.
“Sienna, if you ever need help with anything, reach out to me.”
The echo of Father Sullivan’s help floated into my mind, spinning my brain out of its axis. It was absolute madness to consider his proposal.
Five minutes before the clock struck seven-thirty, the group of junior high was led out to the church. My feet paused before the towering arch of the door before stepping into the threshold with a brave face. Rows of pew were filled with uniform-clad girls, no one daring to chatter or crackle. But of course, hush whispers spun around.
I had never truly stepped into a church before, so when Tara nudged me with her elbow and glared at the holy water, I simply shrugged.
“Follow me,” she whispered harshly. Dipping her fingers in the holy water, she made the sign of the cross. I imitated her moves and sauntered towards an empty seat.
“Look, the lamb is here.” Someone taunted over my shoulder, making me whirl around. Mean Irene sat with her toothy smile and wiggled her brows.
I was almost tempted to get up and smack her across the face when Tara pulled me down and held my arm in her vicelike grip.
“Don’t.” She grated her jaw. “Misbehaving in the church is an unforgivable offence in here. You don’t want to pay a penance in front of the whole school.”
For the very short time I have known Tara, I knew that she was not a girl with too many words, and if she was handing out a caution, it meant business. Another time, I thought.
Straightening myself, I forced my eyes ahead at the altar. “Yeah, but pissing me off is a greater deal to me,” I whispered back.
“You want to land up in Father Sullivan’s office that bad, huh?”
My head whipped around, and I scowled at her. “No.”
“Good.” She nodded. “Then deal with her later. Every girl has a gang, and they have each other’s back. If you try and play the lone wolf, you will most likely get mauled in the jungle.”
“Noted, thanks.”
The church bells rang, summoning everyone’s attention. Someone from the front rows rose from the pew and hurried towards the door, just in time for the service.
But it wasn’t hard to recognise her as soon as I caught sight of her: Harper, the girl from the library.
Almost at the same time, her gaze found mine, and I smiled at her. “Hey.”
It was a simple, casual greeting, and yet she looked awfully shocked. And even the girls in and around stared at me in a strange way.
“Hi,” Harper meekly replied and then dashed towards the seats at the back.
“How on earth do you know her?” Kelly asked as she inclined from her seat beside Tara.
I shrugged a shoulder. “I saw her in the library the other day. She was arranging books on the shelves.”
“Yeah, that’s what she is good for.”
“What does that mean?”
The final bell rang out as Tara swatted us back to sitting position, and we sat with our backs ramrod straight. And all the residual thoughts of the world evaporated when my eyes landed on Father Sullivan. Unlike his all-black appearance, he donned his white clerical vestment with a golden strip in the middle. And he wore it so sinfully that every intricate detail of his sharp features made him look unholy.
He briefly scanned around the church, his eyes paused over me and hooked. A tiny glint of approval shone from the distance as I quickly looked away. For the rest of the Mass, I knelt and stood like everybody, carefully avoiding his eyes and buried my nose into the Bible even though I was not reading a word of it.
The Mass lasted for an hour — sixty agonising minutes of kneeling, standing, reading, and yawning. *How the hell was I supposed to endure this every morning?*
On our way out of the church, I saw Harper sitting in the last row of the church, all alone. Either she hated to be with others or vice versa.
When she saw me approaching, along with others, she quickly slid out and disappeared.
Beside me, Kelly and Sophia exchanged a look with Tara and visibly cringed. “I don’t know what Father Sullivan sees in her, but surely her damsel in distress act goes a long way into his charitable heart of a priest,” Kelly said.
“Gosh, I should play the ‘*poor me*’ card sometimes, and then I will also get to spent hours in an empty classroom with him. All. Alone.”
I groaned audibly, sick of their obsession with Father Sullivan.
“Of course, wearing your thousand dollars past season Jimmy Choo would make you look like a pauper. And then you might persuade him to give you some extra classes,” Tara commented.
“I could wear a rag just so I can spend some time alone with the hot priest,” Kelly smirked.
“She doesn’t look like a sophomore,” I murmured, cutting into their conversation.
“That’s because she isn’t,” Sophia acquiesced. “The girls on her floor told me that they hadn’t seen a dumber person like her before. Apparently, her grades are pathetic, and her habits are weird. Probably that’s the reason no one ever talks to her.”
I shrugged, unable to find sense in their hatred for Harper. It was not like I knew the girl all too well to comment, but somehow, she appeared to be harmless. Quirky, yes, a little different too, but she was definitely not dislikeable.
I made my way towards the first class, language arts when I saw someone at the top of the staircase. For a second, I could not believe my eyes. But that shiny blond hair, icy stares and nasty smirk could not belong to anyone else than Eva Porter.
The girl who had made her a mission to ruin my life and reputation two years just because she could not stomach rejection.
*Why, God, why?*
“Well, well, if it isn’t the high and mighty queen of the *upper east side*,” she said in her loud voice, catching the attention of the nearby girls.
“You have got to be fucking kidding me,” I groaned.
She came closer, swaying her narrow hips and gave me a thorough head-to-toe perusal. “The mighty *Emerson* at Mount Carmel! Now that’s what I call fate.”
I snorted. “You can call it whatever you wish. I am not interested.”
I tried to walk past, but she quickly blocked me with her outstretched arm. By now, there was already a ring of girls salivating on the scene. Clearly, they were awaiting a bitch fight.
“C’mon. Can’t I welcome my old nemesis to my school?” Eva pouted, sticking out her lips awkwardly. “I feel bad that you had dropped out of school because your mo—”
“Eva. Please don’t tell me that you were sent here after that shameful incident,” I quickly cut her off, making sure I was suitably audible. “Dear Lord, my heart breaks for you. But I guess it’s better than pressing criminal charges. Vandalising the principal’s car? Phew.”
All that smug smile vanished, and her eyes narrowed in slits. “You set me up there. And then went ahead sucking Ansel’s dick in his car…”
“Don’t get testy just because you didn’t get a chance.” I smiled. “Anyway, I got bored after the dance. So, if you had texted me, I’d have given him to you anyway.”
“You think I am interested in your sloppy seconds?” she snarled.
“Yeah,” I said. “I mean, c’mon. It’s not like Ansel was going to sit there and hear you whine like a plastic barbie.”
A wave of whispers and snickers haloed around as she glared at me in full force. Her voice was low and seething. “I am so glad to meet you here, Emerson. You have no fucking idea how ecstatic I am today. Finally, this school makes sense.”
“Are you really that obsessed with me? I am honoured, though. But for your sake, don’t fuck with me, and I won’t be tempted to kick your ass. Again.”
She came closer, almost toe to toe with me. “I am going to even the score, Emerson. And this time, I don’t give a fuck about the consequences.”
“Bring it on.” I flipped her the bird as she cast a final scowl before turning around to leave.
“You are on fire today. You made acquaintance with the least popular girl in school and made an enemy out of a popular one. Way to go, Sienna.” Tara said when I finally navigated away from the corridor and entered the classroom. “Word to advice: watch your back.”
I took the seat behind her. “I am my own woman, and I can handle my shit alone.”
“I doubt it. Otherwise, you would not be here.”
*That’s true, but I would not be here for long.*
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