41 | Cloistered

**SIENNA**


The only good about these ancient altars were the intricate designs on the barrier that separated us from the prying eyes of the congregation. The students had already started dispersing to their respective classes while my insides were churning upside down. But I was yet to squeeze out the most important information from Gabriel that he was withholding from me.
“Gabriel, please don’t mess with me now,” I half-growled and half-pleaded in a whisper. “What was that about?”
“Aren’t you getting late for your class?” he quipped slyly.
“Seriously, are you going to keep me hanging?”
He casually propped his elbow against a wooden structure and lifted a shoulder to shrug. “You have been pestering me all week to let you out of the room and allow you to join classes, what about now?” he asked and then jutted out his chin towards the door. “We will talk after school, Miss Emerson. Now go for your classes and make sure you stay far away from the staircase.”
I huffed out in frustration. “Right, the staircase is the problem.”
“And where’s your cane? You are not supposed to walk without support,” he scolded, getting back to his old, dominant form.
And it was my turn to quip. I gave him a broad, satisfied grin, whispering, “We will talk after school, Father Sullivan.”
Just as I was about to turn around and leave, Gabriel snagged my elbow and jerked me against his chest. The silver cross that hung from his neck pressed against my skin while his piercing gaze bore into mine. “I am serious,” he growled. “The next time I see you without the cane, I will break one on your ass.”
“You can do whatever the hell you want, but I want some answers by the end of today,” I shot back.
Gabriel and I, we were fire against fire. Every nerve endings were lit in inflammable tips, setting us both ablaze.
He leaned his weight against me and slowly breathed over the sensitive slope where the curve under my ear met the shoulder. His intent was loud and clear. Gabriel’s hand hovered my ass, squeezing each one of them gently before landing a swat in a warning. Whatever fight I had in me to combat his evasion was long gone now.
His mouth lingered against my skin and whispered, “Be a good girl for the day.”
Then he retreated, fixing his holy attire and left me there all by myself.
The day I was looking forward to turned out to be torture. Classmates and acquaintances came up with weird questions and proportions, some suggesting that I should not step out of the classroom or dorm unaccompanied while others looked at me with pity and regretful stares.
During lunch, I somehow grabbed the tray and found the farthest corner of the room to sit down with Harper. Even she was as clueless as I was, struggling to make sense of the whole thing. But unlike others, she did not prod and poke me for answers which I did not have for myself.
When the last bell rang for the day, marking the end of tedious classes, I grabbed the bag and limped towards Gabriel’s office. The asshole made me wait over an hour, conducting a closed-door meeting with the brothers from a monastery in Kansas while I almost bit my nails off in anticipation. What seemed like an eternity later, the door opened, and these saintly men walked out while Gabriel stood by the door to make sure that there were truly gone.
It only then did he crooked a finger and beckoned me inside, flashing a discreet smirk of satisfaction at the use of my cane. I had half a mind to break the object on his head for making me wait. But as soon as the door closed, his proximity closed around me and guided me closer to the chair with his hand over the small of my back, I melted. The warmth of his touch was oddly intimate.
“Sit comfortably,” he ushered me into the chair, taking the cane from my hand to place it on the table. “How was your day? Were you in pain?” he asked conversationally.
“More like anxious,” I shot back as he seated himself on the table instead of his usual chair.
He gave a knowing smile, toying with my patience. So I narrowed my eyes into slits, squinting embers. “You tell me now, and you tell me everything, Gabriel,” I snarled. “I am done with this suspense.”
“Perhaps, you forgot who is in charge here. Do I need to remind you, Miss Emerson?” He assumed the voice that titillated down my spine and rippled through my senses. I always found it hard to deal with this emotion.
“Forget it.” I threw up my hands in defeat and got to my feet a little too quickly. “I will just ask Eva.”
Gabriel beat me to my speed, grabbing my elbow before I could the second leap out of the room. “Take another step, and I will tan your hide. Sit,” he commanded. Even as he used his power over me, I relented and stood my ground. “I. Said. Sit. Down,” he repeated and not waiting for me to obey, his hands closed over my shoulders and gently pushed me down. “How was school today?”
“Fine, boring, I don’t know. I could not concentrate.” I huffed. “Everyone was talking about me and whatever Eva did…and worst of all, I had no clue. How did you know she did? I mean, when? And why did not you tell me, Gabriel? I had the right to know!”
I did not realise how badly I was hyperventilating and edgy until he cupped my face and forced my gaze on him—and only him. “Sienna, deep breaths, please,” he rasped, too close to my lips and I could not help but feel a little calm.
“I don’t…know. I mean…It could have been that Irene too,” I sighed, trying to fit the pieces of the puzzle.
“She didn’t do it,” he said with a conviction.
“How did you know?” I challenged.
With a sigh of his own, he shifted on the table top and scrubbed a hand over his face. “That is because Irene has a bigger fish to fry than engaging herself in criminal activities that could potentially weaken for further prospects. Her moves would not be sloppy or criminally motivated. To do something like that…to make an attempt on your life needs deep hatred.”
“They hate me both.” I reasoned. “And I am pretty sure I have made a few more enemies too.”
He nodded but held on to his theory. “Eva and you go way back. She is a rich, stupid and spoilt girl who has a nasty habit of holding grudges and be mean towards others. Her obnoxious need for the limelight is borderline crazy. And you have been standing in her way for years. And there were other factors involved, too, that confirmed my suspicions. So, it was more Eva than Irene in this.”
It took my brain some time to process this much information all at once. “What other factors?”
“The night of your incident, Eva has called at least three of her friends in New York, and the phone attendant accidentally caught a few words that indicated her involvement in your accident. But her biggest mistake was to spill her secrets of Irene Hutchins.”
My eyes widened. “ So, Irene knew about it?”
Gabriel nodded. “She is the one who gave me the recording.”
He rose to his full height and rounded the table to retrieve something from the drawer, and played it for me. And as I heard the distinct voice of Eva and her conversation with Irene, I could only sag back against the chair.
The rivalry has its limit. I have fought and bested a number of people since middle school, picked up nasty fights and did some stupid stuff too, but never did I think of hurting someone to the point they could die.
I hated Eva, I still do, but I don’t think I could ever garner a revulsion that would tempt me to take her life.
“Oh, my God. I don’t know what to say,” I whispered, almost transfixed when the tape ended. “I don’t understand.”
Gabriel quickly came to my rescue. He gathered my hands into one of his and knelt before me. “Talk to me, Sienna,” he urged.
My mind was still deliberating and lost. But another thing was still puzzling. “Why would Irene help you? I mean, she hates me anyway…”
Instead of using words, Gabriel smiled. And even though I could not decipher the true meaning, I knew it was bad.
“What are you not telling me, Gabriel?” I pressed. My mouth gaped open and close a few times before the only possible conclusion crossed my mind. “Wait for a second: did you blackmail her?” I gaped.
He did not deny it. His fingers closed tightly around mine as he revealed, “I would not let anyone harm you, Sienna, especially when you are under my protection.”
“In that case, every other girl in this school is under your protection.”
“Theoretically, yes.” He acquiesced with a shy smile. “But I would not do the things for others what I would do for you.”
Our gazes locked, and then he blinked slowly. When his gorgeous cosmos eyes opened again, they were focused, razor-sharp with intent, on my face.
“Father Gabriel Sullivan, how far are you willing to go for me?” I braved. I have been wanting to ask him for the longest time now because I needed to be sure. “Tell me. I want to hear your words. I deserve it, Gabriel.”
“You deserve everything and so much more, Sienna.” His voice was thick and heavy like he was restraining himself on a tight leash. The placid expression he has been wearing turned to stone with conviction. “You are worthy of the light and stars. And I am just the darkness. I will drag you down with me and condemn you to a life of hell. Trust me, you don’t want that.”
I could not help but let out a scoffing smile. “I don’t trust you. You won’t drag me anywhere if I don’t want to. And what if I tell you that I want you?”
Reaching out, I placed a hand on his cheek and sensed his tension unravelled like a spool of thread and wondered with awe how could I have that impact on him. Gabriel closed his eyes and inhaled a sharp breath, slowly opening them again.
“You want the man who vowed a life of celibacy and promised abstinence?”
I shook my head slowly. “I want the man whose devotion to me is stronger and richer than to the God. You want your desire of priesthood to be burned down to the bone, but all that you are doing is burning out, Gabriel. What you crave—what we crave—is not a sin. We are not sinners.”
He looked away, not wanting to believe my words. “You don’t know anything about me or the kind of man I was.”
“Then tell me. Tell me because I want to know you, understand you and want you,” I almost begged with my eyes and words.
He deliberated. “You should go back. No, no, no. This is wrong, Sienna.”
“Gabriel, listen to me—”
“No!” The force of his words almost made me stagger in my seat. “Go back before I do something we both will regret. I have already crossed too many lines now, and I won’t cross anymore from where I can’t come back.”
It took me a few moments to gather my senses. I had not known that heartbreak was audible but - I swallowed hard against the rise of sobs in my throat. I did not have time to swallow the roaring emotions because I just wanted to get away from him.
“Right. I won’t force you.” I said with a sad smile. “And I, definitely, don’t want to be your regret.”
“Sienna…” His hands reached out to hold mine but I swiped away.
Sorrow wrapped me in its velvet arms around my soul and made me want to weep. But I did not want to use my tears to extract sympathy or a supportive shoulder. Gabriel was so much more to me than that, and I decided that I would not settle for less.
“No! I am sorry, Father Sullivan. I will try and not to tempt you for something you want as much as your next breath. Good night.”
I dashed away from his office, vowing never to return to his office on my own accord unless I was summoned for academic or any other reasons. When I had finally made it to the rectory, I locked the door for the first time and slumped against the door — sobbing silently. And a few seconds later, I heard the footsteps, but they paused right outside my door.
We just stayed there, separated by the door and breathed in denial.
*Maybe it was just one of God’s twisted plans*.
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**Hey lovelies! Thank you for reading and continuing the story. Do let me know of thoughts about Gabriel being in denial, of choosing between his devotion to God and his desire for Sienna. I hope it is not too slow burn for your liking**. ❤️