19: Rat Under A Microscope

Mornings aren’t my friend and this morning isn’t any better. I’m jolted awake by a familiar alarm, an alarm that’s on my phone, but I don’t remember setting it. The room is filled with light from the rising sun. It almost confuses me, but as I stretch out on a bed that isn’t mine, lying on top of the blankets since I refuse to snuggle underneath them, still in my clothes I’d been wearing for the past two days, I abruptly remember where I am. And why I’m already slightly grouchy.

My eyes don’t go to my phone, but to Gabriel who lounges on the oversized, plush armchair in the far corner of the room. His golden eyes on me. There’s no way of telling if he was watching me sleep or if I got his attention when I started to wake. Either way, it’s uncomfortable to be under his gaze.

I hurriedly dismiss the alarm. “Must you?”

“Wait for you to wake, bright and early as you requested?”

His smart ass comment only makes me bitchier, which only results in a burning to rip through my body. I suppress a yelp. Through clenched teeth, I reply, “watch me.” I’m thankful that I’m finally leaving this wretched place, but at a steep price.

“Ready to go?” Gabriel leaps up from seat. In a blink of an eye he goes across the room to the door where he waits patiently.

“I was ready two days ago.” It takes a moment to get my stiff joints to obey my silent orders. My joints protest and my muscles clench up.

“Do you need help?” Gabriel asks a know-it-all smile on his face. He’s just as aware as I am that with a single touch I would feel one hundred times better, feel as if I could run a marathon, but that’s at the cost of my self preservation .

“I’m fine.” I’m not willing to succumb just yet...if ever.

“Very well. I’ll be waiting.” He says before opening the door and waves me through.

Once again I follow him through the halls. Regrettably, I’m starting to become familiar with them and when he takes a turn that I know doesn’t lead to the front door, I get anxious. “I thought we were leaving.” I say to his back.

“Just a small stop first.” He says not caring to slow his pace.

We walk right back into the very first room I met Phillip in, the ballroom. And to my surprise Phillip sits in that ridiculous chair of his, waiting. His legs crossed, dressed to perfection this morning just like all the other times I’ve seen him.

He remains silent until we’re standing right before him. “I’m disappointed you have to leave so soon. And here I thought you would want to stay awhile and enjoy yourself.” Phillip flashes me a toothy smile as his eyes go between Gabriel and myself.

This is coming from the same person that said it’s going to be fun to break me. Disappointed my ass. If he’s disappointed in anything, it’s not being able to see my suffering or my submission.

He continues talking oblivious of my glare. “However there is one stipulation to your oath I need to inform you of before you leave.”

“And that is?” I try to keep my snarky, annoyed tone to a bored monotone.

“Every week you will drink Gabriel’s blood keeping the binding fresh and your oath capable of fulfillment.”

“That’s quite unnecessary.” I argue.

“Oh, I think it is. It gives you incentive to find the witch and hand her over. Find her in a month and it’s only four tastings. Ignore me and draw this out over several months...well, a human can’t drink vampire blood weekly and stay...themselves. You’ll be a part of the family not before long. Not that I would mind.”
“Not if I can help it.” I mumble.

Phillip lets out a fake rumble of laughter again. “Gabriel is not wrong about your defiance and fiery attitude. Another reason for the continuity of blood. For this to work you need to be suffering or his pet.” He pauses waiting for me to snap back, but I bite my tongue. “Good. I’ll be in touch.”

Gabriel gives Phillip a nod before he takes my elbow in his grasp yet again and leads me to the door. Playing nice and proving a point that I can play by Phillip’s stupid rules and not be suffering or some imbecile’s pet, I let Gabriel walk me out.

I sit in the back and remain silent like I did on the ride over here. Last night I frantically messaged Monty and Gretchen and Caleb back. Telling them that I was fine and just took a small road trip to get some ingredients for new concoctions I’ve been thinking about.

Lies, I told them all lies. Because they would never approve or let me hear the end of it if I told them the truth. They probably didn’t believe each little fib I twined together to make up the story of where I’ve been, but at least I tried, Gabriel can’t be mad at that.

Replying back to Caleb was the hardest. We’re not on the best of terms right now and his apology stings more than it should. All I think about when I think of him is Gabriel’s mouth on mine and good it felt. Caleb always said I had a way of getting into trouble. And I’m in deep and there’s no helping me out of it. I have to find Tessa.

Did I want to throw the witch under the bus? No. Did I want some apocalyptic future with the end of human civilisation and the uprising of vampires? Hell no. Did I want to lose myself in Gabriel entirely? No, even though it would feel so good. So what choice did I have?

We finally come to a stop outside my apartment complex. Gabriel’s hands wring the steering wheel as if he’s having difficulty with something.

“I’ll make this easy. See ya never.” I open the car door and quickly hop out, slamming it behind me.

“Goodbye for now, little witch.” He hollers to be out the open passenger side window.

I ignore him and rush inside. I had planned to hide out in my apartment for however long it took it get over the empty feeling that attacks, but I grow antsy too quickly. I won’t let them trap me, so I decide to go to the only place I feel comfortable enough to go to. Work. Maybe not the best choice, but my mind isn’t working at full capacity.
It’s almost comforting as I walk the familiar streets. Getting back into my norm eases some of my pain, which is something I had only hoped would happen, but didn’t expect to happen. A simple walk alone can’t cure everything though.

“Jesus, Hazel.” Gretchen shouts the second I enter the small shop. She doesn’t rush up to me or give me a hug, no she goes straight into lecturing. “You can’t leave for two days without telling someone. And especially after Monty says you fled when a mysterious package was dropped off for you. Said you looked like a rat under a microscope.”

I turn to Monty, “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“You were skittish.” She says clearly embarrassed by her poorly picked example.

“And you had to compare me to a rat of all things that are skittish?”

“Enough.” Gretchen demands. “You are lucky I didn’t bring a scrying crystal out to track you down and sent Caleb after you.”

I think about how that would’ve gone down. Her finding out that I was holed up at the vampire of all vampires house and then add to that a werewolf showing up demanding that he hand over a witch. Would’ve been a party. “Caleb has his hands full at the moment.”

“Is that so.” Gretchen says in her motherly tone, clearly catching me in a lie, a lie she can prove.

“I’m back and everything is fine. All of you can settle down.” I’m not sure how long that particular lie will hold up to their spying, prying, all too knowing eyes.

Monty suddenly gives a few taps on her phone before sliding it back into her pocket. “Just got done letting him know you have made your reappearance. I’m sure he’ll be here in less than an hour and he can tell us if he has his hands full or not.” Obviously, Monty wasn’t privy to the information Gretchen gathered from Caleb.

“Fine.” I shout. “I was up to trouble. Is that what you want to hear. Big trouble, boat loads of trouble. I may lose myself in the process, maybe even die.”

Both of them look at me with blank stares. Monty walks off to browse the shelves or help the few customers there are in the shop. Gretchen on the other hand lingers.
“Caleb told me you two had a misunderstanding. And I know how defiant you can be when you two have a fight that revolves around pack stuff.” She leans in closer, her hand gently rests on my arm. “Please, tell me you did not get yourself into trouble.”

“Only if you explain to me why you brought Caleb into this when you knew we had a fight.”

“I only found out after calling him about you. He insisted on being kept in the loop.”

“Of course he did.” I mutter before breaking away from her. “I’ll be in my room.” I say like a scorned child.

Thankfully, both of them listen to my silent pleas and leave me alone with my thoughts and I couldn’t be more grateful. The second I parted from Gabriel an anxiousness burrowed into every fiber of my being. My snappiness and my anger at their well placed concern is only a side effect. A withdrawal symptom coming into fruition. It’s been two days since I ingested Gabriel’s blood and it’s still strong as ever. It’s only been a few hours and I’m failing at the simplest of tasks.

And then a knock sounds against the door frame of my room-slash-office and I know that it’s time to face the music. Caleb has arrived.

“Disappearing for two days, huh?” His eyes are so dark as he stares me down, treading lightly.

“Yay, spur of the moment kinda thing. I’m sorry I wasn’t around for you to tell me all about your dinner.” I take the low road, get this conversation to the point where it’s close to ending. I needed him to leave, because if anyone would see a change in me, it would be Caleb.

If anyone can get me to confess my secrets, it’s Caleb. If anyone can make me feel like shit for the awful choices I’ve made, it’s Caleb...and maybe Avery.

“Heaven forbid, I thought I could come in here and express the concern and anxiety I felt when Gretchen told me you just disappeared. I forgot. You hold grudges.” He turns to leave and for the first time I feel like I’m truly losing him.

“Wait.” Against my better judgement, I can’t lose him. The word is barely audible and feeble, but thankfully he hears it and listens to it. His feet stop and he takes enough steps back to linger in the threshold again. “It was wrong of me to just ditch out like that and I’m sorry.”

Caleb stares at me before he cracks a smile and starts laughing at me. Full blown laugh, in my face.

“I apologize and this is how you respond.” And this is the reason why I try to keep myself disentangled from other people. And here I felt like I was about to shatter into a million pieces as he walked away from me.

“It’s just, I don’t think I’ve ever heard you apologize before.”

“And you won’t again.” I huff.

Slowly, Caleb enters the room and approaches me. His voice also barely a whisper. “You scared me half to death.” His hand goes under my chin and gently nudges my head up so I’m forced to look him in the eye. “Don’t do it again.”

My heart stops. He’s a fool. My fool. My fool I’m going to end up shattering into a million pieces right along with myself. “Promise.”

His lips come down to mine closing the gap between us. We don’t enjoy it too long, because a whistle sounds from out on the sales floor. We break apart to find Monty staring in on us, perfectly framed in the doorway.

“I wish you had a door.” Caleb says flatly.

“Me too.” I say, but only part of me agrees while the other part of me yearns for Gabriel’s lips on mine instead of Caleb’s.

Crack. The first fissure to break open. How many more cracks can I handle before I break completely. How many more, before I start to break the others around me?