45: My Anchor

Brooklynn grabs a hold of my hand and squeezes it so tight that I have to fight back a flinch. I close my eyes and take several deep breaths. I wait a few seconds hoping that Brooklynn is following along.

*Not awake nor asleep,
My dreams are mine to show.
In the world of possibilities,
I bring one in tow.*

The world drops away again. The feeling of several eyes on me disappears, the cold that emits from Gabriel’s closeness becomes non-existent and the eerie feeling of the unknown floods over me.

*“Holy shit.”

My eyes whip open. I stand beside Brooklyn in the woods. Her head cranes around searching for something that tells her she’s still in Phillip’s manor. Her left hand shakes aggressively.

“I still feel your hand in mine. It’s...annoying.”

“Shush.” I frantically look in the direction of the meadow. It’s a little further away than the first time I had this dream, but the last thing we need is to be overheard. “I wouldn’t let go if I were you. Come on.” I take a couple of steps forward. “Does any of this look familiar?”

“It’s the woods. They all look the same. Dirt, trees, bugs.” As she says it she swats at something.

“There’s a meadow up ahead. A meadow that you do the ritual in.” I point through the trees. You barely can make out the fire.

“So? You can ask a human where a witch would do sacrificial rituals and they’ll say in the woods.” Clearly not impressed by any of this.

“Just be prepared. This isn’t going to be pleasant.”

“I don’t know what Gabriel sees in you. So naive and innocent. I’m not even sure you can give him what wants, what he needs.” Brooklyn bickers as we trek through trees.

This is the last thing I want to talk about. Gabriel or Gabriel and her, together. “And you can?”

“Oh, I can everything he needs and more. But ever since he met you.”

“What’s that suppose to mean. Ever since he met me? He sure seemed to be on Team Brooklynn when I saw you two together. I’m sure you had a great night together.”

She laughs a haughty, evil laugh. “It was great, not as great as I would’ve liked. I would’ve liked to ride him all night long, but he’s turned celibate since you come along.” She huffs in disgust. “I might’ve got his teeth, but I didn't get the body part I really wanted.”

What? They didn’t sleep together. She has to be lying, trying to get back on Gabriel’s good side. But there’s no time to ponder on it as we’re nearly at the clearing. No time to demand she spill the beans on the whole night, because I never let Gabriel tell me what happened. I was too fearful to hear it.

The soft voices and laughter get louder and our bickering will only draw their attention so I keep my mouth shut and hiss at her to do the same. The sense of comfort and safety that I felt before is gone and I’m on high alert expecting the worse. The second we step out of the thick woods and stumble into the clearing all eyes turn to us. Some are curious, some are leering, but all have that gleam of evil. I wonder if Brooklynn sees them the way I do. Sees herself the way I do.

Brooklynn yelps as she’s grabbed from behind and I become stiff as a pair of hands grip the tops of my shoulders. Apparently, they were aware of our presence all along. The coven members push us forward with kind words of ‘join us’ on their lips.

“Kara. Raven.” Brooklynn calls out pushing against the strong shove that leads us forward. “Guys, it’s me. Hello.”

The two look shocked as they examine Brooklynn. “How do you know our names? You don’t look familiar, so I’m pretty sure we don’t know each other.”

“Umm, yeah. It’s Brooklynn, you weirdo.”

The two give a loud bout of laughter just as we reach the center of the meadow. The other members linger around the large fire. One person has her back to us, but quickly spins around as Kara or Raven speaks, “what a coincidence, we have another Brooklynn here.”

She raises her eyebrows and inspects Brooklynn. They may look the same to me, but there’s no hint of recognition or confusion at seeing her doppelganger stand before her. “What a small world.” She turns away to circle the fire. “More the merrier I guess.”

I know exactly where to to look to see Tessa, gagged and bound. It takes a minute for Brooklynn to get past seeing herself, but I’m sure she’s a believer now.
“Another sacrifice for the cause?” One of them blurts out who I now know to be Evangeline.

“No. These two will witness and will be the first sacrifices of the new beginning.” Dream Brooklyn says.

It’s a struggle as I try to fight off several hands that try to subdue me. It’s one against two instead of one against four, because now two of them have to wrangle Brooklynn. At the same time I struggle to keep my invisible hold on Gabriel’s hand and keep aware of Brooklynn’s hold as well. Her physical body back at Phillip’s manor is no doubt going crazy.

“Don’t let go.” I say through clenched teeth. I was expecting the coven witches to question my request, but they just grind my face into the grass a little harder silencing me instead.

Within minutes our limbs are bound in a similar fashion to Tessa. A slick sweat breaks out over my skin and strands of my hair stick to my face. With a quick glance at Brooklynn, I see she’s a complete mess too.

“I’m going to punch that bitch in the face when we get back.” Brooklynn mumbles, her tongue lightly dabs the slice in her lip.

I struggle to my knees as Tessa’s screams erupt into the darkening sky. I take my time not needing to see her being dragged to the pyre and set on fire.

Dream Brooklynn yells, “for the cause.”

There’s no ignoring the whoosh of flames roaring, the crackling of the tinder quickly burning away. There is no silence before the pain. My own heart rams against my chest and I’m deafened by the rushing of my own blood. I wish it were loud enough to block out Tessa’s agonizing screams.

“That’s gotta hurt.” Brooklynn says without an ounce of emotion. Clearly please that her coven is progressing along well even though they are going to watch her die next.

Dream Brooklynn goes back to the rest of the coven members that are forming a circle around the bonfire. They start chanting and tossing things into the flames. I force myself to hear their words, but a murky dizziness comes over me. I thought it was from the chant, from whatever they’re summoning but it may be because I was clocked in the head too hard.

I don’t worry about it too much, because after what’s about to happen Brooklynn will give me the ritual and beg for me to help her. A loud crack of lightning booms throughout the forest jolting Brooklynn and I to attention. The coven witches however, see that as their success.

They all turn to us. One that still remains unnamed says, “now it’s your turn.”

I twist and turn trying to escape an inescapable situation, but I’m rooted in place, stuck to the ground. And then the fog rolls in. The panic in me rises as I recall the horror of what's about to happen.

“What the hell is that? This isn’t how Phillip said it was supposed to go.” Brooklynn squints toward the edge of the woods searching for Phillip, but coming up short.

The panic that Brooklynn expressed is doubled when the coven starts panicking. It only takes seconds after being engulfed by the fog that their surprised yelps of fear, their moans of pain, break the deathly quietness.

Surrounded and blinded by the cloudy white shroud, I don’t try to make out the shapes this time around. I can feel them. “Get ready.” I say to Brooklynn. Even though I can’t see her, I can hear her sharp hyperventilating breaths.

A face jumps in front of me and I cringe in fear even though I knew it was coming. “Hazel.” the ghost says. “Hazel.”

“Jezmin.” I say unimpressed at her arrival.

“You can’t stop this. We don’t want you to.”

I’m taken off guard as she says something different this time around. “Jezmin?” She’s really here, unlike in my dream, she’s here, very much present like she was the last time I was in the dream realm. “Jezmin. Help me. Please.”

My head jerks to the side as Brooklyn’s scream pierces into the thick air.

“We are coming.” Jezmin’s soft voice whispers in my ear seconds before a pair of ice cold hands wrap around my body squeezing me to the point of suffocation. My lungs burn dying for oxygen, the sharp sting of frostbite stabs into my flesh.

I let out a scream that covers Brooklynn’s quieting shriek that’s nothing more than a yelp now. Unexpectedly, my eyelids get heavy and I try to force myself to hold on, to stay awake, because dying might not be the way to get out of here.

But everything goes black, my willpower isn’t enough.*

The bright dining room blinds me as my snap open. A deep breath rushes into my lungs as I scramble out of my chair. I nearly topple it over and fall to the ground as I force the residual feelings of the dream realm off of me.

Gabriel’s hands squeeze my arms forcing me to settle down. “You’re back. You’re back.” He repeats trying to soothe me.

“Brooklynn.” My mouth is dry and parched.

“She’s fine.” He replies.

There’s a thump of a fist slamming against the table. “What the fuck was that? What. The. Fuck.” Brooklynn screams at me.

“The dead walking.” I shake the thoughts away. “Don’t look at me like that. All of that is on you and your coven. Do you believe me now, because if you don’t I’m not going back to prove it again.”

“No,” She spits at me. “I heard you talking to someone.” Her head shakes at me as she says the words. “I heard you call out to someone. Jezmin. You’re trying to sabotage us.”

“Jezmin? Your shop ghost?” Gabriel questions.

“Yeah, she was there like the last time I entered the realm, but she’s all about killing me, so you’re fucking crazy if you think I brought that on.” I stand up on still shaky legs. “You don’t want my help, whatever, you at least know how you’re gonna die. Painfully.” I start to march away, breaking out of Gabriel’s tight hold.

“Hazel.” Gabriel calls after me, but I don’t stop, I keep going until I’m outside sucking in the fresh air.

I hear him creep up on me, but I keep my back to him. “I think it’s time for me to go home.”

“I don’t think that’s the best idea.”

“The best idea,” I say manically. “None of this is the best idea. Coming here and going back in there, to what? Prove to her that she sucks?” Words keep rambling from my mouth and I’m unable to stop them. “Even after her coven beat the crap out of her and offered her up for her own god damn cause, she still blames me. I died in there too, ya know.” A small stream of tears trail down my cheek, but I quickly swat them away.

“No one's dying. She’s scared.”

“And you know that because you know her so well? I snap.

I catch a cringe of resentment on his face from my words, but he doesn’t take the bait and argue with me like I wish he would. “Come on, you’re shivering and you should rest.” He wraps his arm around my shoulders and ushers me back inside.

He marches me past the dining room. I can hear Brooklynn’s bickering from all the way down the hall, as we get closer it gets louder and then stops.

“Gabriel.” Brooklynn shouts. “Gabriel, we need to talk.”

Gabriel, however, keeps walking leading me upstairs. The loud shouts of Brooklynn fade away the further we get. She either stopped or I can’t hear her over the pounding in my head. I had been assuming that Gabriel would bring me to ‘my’ room, but he stops short.

He thinks I’m staying in his room? I want more than anything to argue, to stand my ground, but I want more than anything for him to stop the ache that burns me inside out.

“I would rather-”

“You are in no position to make demands. Now lay down.” He gently sets me on the edge of the mattress. “I’m going to get you something to eat and maybe find another blanket.”

Before I have a chance to protest, he’s at the door, slowly closing it behind him.

A shiver travels through my body. I hadn’t truly noticed that I’m still cold until now. The frostbite from the ghosts goes all the way to my bones, remaining with me longer than I like. I don’t feel this awful just because of the dream realm, some of it’s due to Gabriel’s blood.

It was like running into a brick wall, sending me into a downward spiral. There is no stopping it. The second that Gabriel leaves my heart is ten times heavier. I had hoped that I wouldn’t have to go through this again. I mean, drinking weekly is better than starting over.

I crawl into the bed, squirm under the blankets and some of my pain subsides because the sheets smell like Gabriel. A mix of leather and something woodsy. I get so comfortable that I fall asleep.

*My heart drops as my eyes open to reveal a darkened cemetery. I’m suddenly feeling energized and wide awake and fearful. The tip of my toes are on the edge of the open grave. As I look into the pitch black depths, my balance wavers and I teeter on the crumbling lip.

Averting my eyes away from the hole, I gaze at the headstone. There’s no overlooking the stone that has my name etched into it. Or at least I thought I wouldn’t be able to look away, but something much worse is coming closer.

Fog, fog with moving shadows hiding within it. It swallows me whole, slowly moving around my feet and inching higher and higher until I’m covered head to toe. My heart pounds and I struggle to keep my balance as the world begins to sway, but no matter how many steps I take back, the edge of the grave is always there.

The moving shadows within the fog draw closer, I can make out their human shapes, but they’re anything but human as they lurk and slither, circling around me. Hands skim my body taunting me, but then a pair shove me from behind so hard that I fly forward into the depths of my own grave.

And I freefall.*

“Hazel.” Strong hands aggressively shake me. “Hazel.”

I give a jolt as I become fully awake, fully aware of me lying in Gabriel’s bed with him hovering over me, eyebrows creased with concern. “I’m sorry, I fell asleep.” I mutter as I try to slip out of his grasp.

He stands so close that my mind races, unable to think clearly. “I’ll go get you some fresh food.” He offers before he turns around to leave, but I catch his wrist before he gets too out of reach.

“I’m not hungry.” There’s some truth to that. My stomach has been in knots except for when I’m asleep or when Gabriel is close. “Can you stay till I fall back to sleep?” My hand slips from his arm.

“Of course.” He steps away heading for the chair in the far corner of the room.

“Next to me” I pat the empty side of the bed. I become flushed as he turns around meeting my stare. Was I fully aware of the words that are coming out or was the blood talking?

“Whatever you want.” He walks slowly, almost predator-like, around the bed.

Without knowing it, I tug the blankets back denying him from laying on top of them. As those golden eyes stare at me taking in what I’m silently saying, I become reckless. My body moves to its own accord, rising to my knees and facing him head on. He stands motionless next to the bed and when he doesn’t come to me, I go to him by shuffling across the small gap between us.

His hands glide down my arms barely touching me. My own hands creep up his chest before resting around his neck. His hair tickles my fingers and it takes a great deal of effort to not grab a fistfull of those long locks.

With his eyes cast down to the mattress he sounds in a deeply serious tone, “you should get some rest before you do something you regret.” Once his eyes do glance up it isn’t his golden gaze that draws my attention, it’s his fangs.

“Like this.” I place the pad of my thumb on the very tip of his pointy canine and push. It doesn’t take much force to break the skin, blood quickly flows from the wound.

His hand harshly encircles my wrist keeping me from moving, trapping me in place as his lips close around my thumb. His tongue once again slides over the cut.

My breath is knocked out of me as he sweeps my legs out from under. There’s no chance of catching my breath as he hovers over me and yet he barely touches me. It’s like a flip of a switch, a spark ignited. I need him. He soothes the ache inside me, he calms the nervousness I have without him, there is no fear with him. There’s only recklessness.

An involuntary shiver shakes my body and Gabriel becomes stone. “You’re still freezing.” He pulls the blanket over us, covering us in darkness.

I can’t see a thing, but I feel everything. I feel my clothes slowly being peeled away. I feel Gabriel’s fully unclothed body against mine. There’s only a second before there is no space left between us. Even though his body is cool to the touch a warmth envelopes me that takes my breath away.

He nuzzles his face in the crook of my neck as his hips grind against me and I don’t know what makes my heart beat faster, him between my legs or his fangs against my flesh. He doesn’t bite though, but it's pleasing in other ways.

I instantly feel the space between us as he collapses next to me. It isn’t much, maybe a couple of inches, but that small distance has my stomach twisting in agony. When did I become so weak? I shimmy against him and rest my head on his chest. His heartbeats quickly fools me.

He snakes his arm around and runs his fingers through my hair staring at the ceiling. Even before he speaks I know it’s something serious from just the rise and fall of his chest. “What happened in there?”

“Nothing that’s important enough to talk about.”

“You said you died in there, so I think there’s plenty to talk about.”

“If she doesn’t get her act together we’ll all find out.” I give a shiver as a flash of dead arms wrap around me, squeezing the life out of me.

He tightens his grip, squeezing me against him. “From the dead?”

“Yes.” The single word soberly rolls off my tongue.

“Zombies?” He questions and even though I don’t see his face I hear the wisp of laughter in his tone, the rumble of it trapped in his chest.

I can’t suppress my own laughter at his stupidity. “No.” My head cranes up to meet his eyes. “Not corpses. Ghosts, very real ghosts.”

“Hence Jezmin.” His eyes look off into the distance as he processes it.

“Yeah. She told me that they’re waiting.” I pause hearing her voice, a voice was a little more hateful than the last time I talked with her. “They’ve gotten more aggressive, hurting people, they can feel it. I need that spell, Gabriel.”

“We’ll get it.” He places a kiss to forehead. “We’ll get it.” He repeats.

“I hope so.” I mutter as I lay my head back on his chest.

It only takes minutes for my eyelids to fall closed, but he keeps the nightmares away.