20: I'm Not Sure I'm A Martyr

I offer to close up shop to make up for my uncalled for absence. Maybe if I butter them up with good old fashion employee of the month behavior, they’ll forget about it. Highly unlikely though, but one can dream.

“Nothing special planned with your boyfriend?” Monty teases me as she gathers her purse.

I was a pucker of lips, twist of the tongue away from replying back, ‘which one’, but thankfully I caught myself. “Very funny.”

She flashes me a smile before skipping out the door. All her readings must’ve been pleasant today otherwise she’d be holed up in her room.

Gretchen on the other hand was more reluctant to leave. “I can stay with you.” She offers as if she knows of the monsters out there that lurk for me.

“Don’t be silly. I’ve closed plenty of times by myself. Go get some rest before your coven meeting tomorrow.” She knows I’m right. That meeting drains her and she can’t afford to stay tonight and tomorrow.

She keeps eye contact with me as long as she can before she has to enter the back hall that’ll lead her out into the side alley where her car is. I eagerly wave at her. I wait for the soft click of the door, the loud roar of her engine and the silence that follows before I go and double check that she’s gone.

A sigh of exhaustion rushes out of my pursed lips. It’s taking everything in me to battle the thoughts and feelings that hound my mind and body. Gabriel. Gabriel. Gabriel. That’s all I can think about. The ache in my muscles get so deep that my bones are starting to hurt.

The day goes by at the slowest pace ever. I swear I can hear the mocking second hand tick...tick..tick as my pulse races, races, races. I begin to regret offering. All it does is give me several pointless hours to fawn over Gabriel. His messy grown out hair, his too tight clothes, the coolness of skin against my overheated one, his always parted lips that look like they’re always ready to kiss me, and the mesmerizing golden gaze.

When I can finally switch the lights off and head for the front door, a relief washes over me. I don’t why. So I can sit in my apartment and continue obsessing over Gabriel?

The buzz of my phone fills my purse as I lock up. It still rings after locking the door, so I hurriedly dig for it. Once in my hand, I see a familiar name on the screen.
“Well, everyone is just so thankful I have reappeared. First Gretchen and Monty, then Caleb and now you.”

I hear Avery’s little fairy giggle as she laughs at me. “Of course Caleb beat me to it.” She pauses thinking over her words before she asks them. “So where were you really?” Of course Avery cuts right through the niceties and gets right to it. “I’ll keep it a secret? Were you with your new boyfriend?”

My feet stumble over the uneven sidewalk as she catches me off guard. “What? No.” I answer too fast, too squeally and even though we’re just talking over the phone I know sees through my lies. “I don’t have a boyfriend.” I try to recover.

“I’m sure Caleb says otherwise, but I know you weren’t with him because he called me asking if you were with me.” Her voice gets all pouty, “I had to break the poor boy’s heart and say no.”

“He’s plenty big enough boy.” I retort. “Of course, he makes me look like the fool. Did he tell you about how I caught him with another girl,” I can hear a sharp breath suck through her teeth, “another girl that Marcus is setting him up with.”

“Well, that’s different.” She quickly recovers. “He doesn’t want to be with her.”

“You don’t know that. And don’t stick up for him.” Strangers glance my way as I shout into the night.

She changes the subject as if sensing those annoyed strangers glares too. “There’s someone though. I heard it in your voice.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” I suppressed a shutter. I’m all too aware of my tone when I try to deny, ignore, refuse to acknowledge Gabriel and I’m too mortified that she can see that, hear that over the phone.

It couldn’t be a real feeling anyways, it’s a side effect. It just happens, there’s no preparing for it. Even now just the simple thought of his name makes my heart race. But there’s no way that I’m going to admit that...to anyone.

“Uh-huh. And to think that you can’t even introduce him to your best friend. The very friend that will be disappointed if the girls at the shop know and she doesn’t.”
“Why are you talking in the third person?”

“I don’t know. It sounded better in my head.” I can hear fidgeting with something. Working this late? “Anyways, next Friday the wicked witch of the west-”
“You know I find insult to that, right?”

She groans, “My boss.” She draws out a groan, “She’s finally letting me have a weekend off...well she’s going to Tahiti and she’s not inviting me along. She’ll invite me everywhere else, but some exotic getaway...nope.”

“Fine, but only if we don’t talk boys.”

“Nevermind then.” I can imagine her mini tantrum. Arms crossed over her chest, scowl to her blue eyes.

“Ugh.” Now it’s my turn to groan. “Fine.”

“I’ll be in touch.” She says seconds before hanging up.

I’m still a block or two away from my complex and now I have twice as much on my mind. Sleep. I just need sleep.

Night two. I lay in bed unable to sleep. There’s a nervousness that attacks me making it hard to relax. Night one, which I spent mostly unconscious, was so much better. The longer I’m awake, the longer I’m aware of the world or lack thereof of Gabriel, the more everything weighs down on me. Suffocating.

Every time I close my eyes I see him. My imagination runs wild as I recall his lips on mine in that wretched room at Phillip’s manor. I fight the pull of sleep as long as I can. I sit ramrod straight on the couch, no pillows, no slouched shoulders, but exhaustion wins out and my heavy eyelids fall closed.

*The streets are doused in blackness, the only light for blocks are fires. Buildings, trashcans, cars. The orange red glow doesn’t help you see, but it breaks up the darkness. A smoky haze thickens the air. I nearly choke on it.

People, not denizens, but humans frantically run down the street, backpacks and duffle bags over their shoulders, dragging children alongside them, hushed whispers of ‘stay quiet’ on their lips. Their escape is futile.

No one will be able to just leave town. You will either die or become a slave to the newly risen top predator of the food chain. Vampires.

Just as I pass by an alleyway, I hear a scream, hands thrashing, feet kicking and then dragging before their startled cry becomes gurgled. Then silence. My own heart races with panic. I’m not human, but will I be spared?

So much death. So much destruction. All because vampires want to have a free for all. No more hiding in the shadows, hunting down their food. No more keeping up the ruse of being elegant, beautiful creatures. The monsters want out and everyone is paying the price.

I have no idea where I’m going, my feet just keep stumbling down the debri ridden pavement. But I suddenly come to a stop when a cool breeze ruffles my hair, a warm breath on my neck. “Hello little witch.” he says breathily before his mouth latches onto my neck.

The pierce of his fangs tears a scream from my lungs.*

A scream that startles me awake. I flinch at my stiff neck regretting staying on the couch instead of going to bed. Who did I think I was, thinking I could deny sleep. I’m more human than I like to admit. Lately, being in close proximity to any human attributes is asking for trouble.

The dream still hangs over me. Slightly different than the last time I saw it at my little round table in my little room-slash-office at Mystic Moon. My own torment is tangled in it, but the other than Gabriel ripping into my throat, Tessa’s nightmare is still the same. I play Phillip’s words back, the hidden meanings behind them all.

Tessa has to join the coven. Tessa is a key component. There’s only one reason why he would be so obsessed with finding this witch. He could replace her with any other. She wasn’t special as he says she is. No, she’s the coven’s sacrifice.

Was I willing to be the one that brought her to her death? No, but what choice do I have. It’s her or me and I’m not sure I’m a martyr. I’m not strong enough.