79: I Nearly Choke On That Word. Love.

The sound of Caleb’s voice breaks us apart. “Of course, if anyone can find a vampire at a werewolf bar it’s you.” He wraps his arm around my waist twisting me back toward the bar.

My feet come to halt, heart pounding. Caleb looks down at me and a heartbreak comes over me. It’s so strong that I nearly drop to my knees. I can’t place it though, the dread I feel as I look at him.

“Or maybe I should take you home.” Caleb shuffles his feet and we now face the parking lot. “You never could hold your liquor well.”

“I’ll take her home.” Gabriel interjects.

“Who the hell are you anyways.” I catch a flash of recognition in his eyes. He remembers him from the shop. “She’s with me vampire, so back the fuck off.” He slips from my grip and squares off against Gabriel.

Images of the two of them fighting, like full out beating each other down, flash before my eyes. I quickly blink them away, it takes a few bats of my eyelashes for them to disappear. But the feeling stays with me. The dread of having two people I deeply care about fight each other, lingers. “Caleb.” My voice is weak as I say his name, but he hears it.

His head snaps away from Gabriel to land on me, but before he comes to my side, he jabs his index finger into Gabriel’s chest, “keep your hands to yourself, bloodsucker.”
I follow the tug of Caleb’s hands that lead me to his SUV. My lips are numb as I speak, “You know that wasn’t necessary.”

“It was very necessary.” He opens the passenger side door for me, “he had you under his mind mojo.” He wiggles his fingers in the air only adding to the ridiculousness of his words.

I even hear Gabriel let out a rumble of laughter.

“You do know that vampires don’t have,” I copy his wiggling finger movement, “mind mojo. Most of them are just very charming.” I can’t believe I just admitted that.
In that admission, Caleb goes stiff. “I know that they don’t have a beating heart and somehow manage to stand up, walk around and torment people. None of which is charming, Hazel.” His voice is snippy. There’s no arguing with him about it even if I wanted to. Not to mention he slams the door in my face ending the conversation.
As we drive away, I try my hardest to keep my eyes on my lap, but I can’t. I stare out the window and look directly at Gabriel, who gives a sharp wave and slick smile as Caleb peels out of the gravel lot.

I refuse to acknowledge what just happened, but Caleb on the hand can’t let it go. “Who is he? The vampire? And don’t tell me you don’t know or he’s just a customer, because we both know that he’s not just some random vamp.”

I don’t say anything, because I don’t know what to say. That I met him a couple of weeks ago and it feels as if I’ve known him so much longer than that. That it feels like I love him. I nearly choke on that word. Love. Never in a million years did I think I would find myself smitten with a vampire.

“I thought tonight would be the night that we decided on each other.” His words are so large in the so small cabin of the car. “I brought you to The Den to show Marcus that no matter how much he pushed Gloria on me that I would still choose you.”

“Wait? Who’s Gloria?” Out of everything that’s the part I get hung up on. I’ve heard him tell me that he chooses me over Marcus several times, but then Marcus puts him in his place, shunning him in front of the pack and Caleb takes back his words with Marcus this and Marcus that.

“Just some wolf that Marcus-”

I finish the thought for him, “approves of.” That’s what this all comes down to. Who Marcus approves of. Which would make life for Caleb easier. He would get a ranking role within the pack as he deserves, that he doesn’t get because he chooses to have a relationship with a witch.

“Is she…” This time my words trail off. I can’t say it, not out loud at least.

“My mate? No.” He replies. But she might as well be.

After that we both stay silent. Both of us realize that we’ve said and done too much. I’m used to the awkward, wordless air that lingers between us. We’ve been on again and off again and on again so much that it’s something I’ve grown to expect. We always fight for each, but don’t ever take that extra step to nail it down. Why? I’m not sure. Fear? Not wanting to hold one back? The emanate rejection for when he does find his mate?

But now I there’s a new little nagging thought. Gabriel.

Caleb parks out front of my complex, his hand grabbing the keys to turn the engine off. “Can we talk about this later? I’m tired.” As I say the words, his face falls in disappointment, but only for a second.

“We can talk about it later, but I’m still coming up.” He turns the car off and walks around, opening up my door for me.

A groan escapes my mouth as I slide from the seat and step out onto the sidewalk. He’s just as stubborn as I am. Sometimes I enjoy it, sometimes I’m annoyed by it. The only reason he’s insistent on staying is because he thinks Gabriel will show up. And who knows maybe he would’ve.

I keep to my word and head straight to bed while Caleb heads to the couch. He’s slept many times on that couch, some intentionally...some not. It’s better for him out there instead of in here. The news that Marcus is actively trying to replace me shouldn’t bother me, but it does.

I lay in bed for what seems like an eternity before my eyes slowly close.

*The alleyway behind Mystic Moon smells of blood and scorched materials. Wood, metal, oil. It’s so strong that it overwhelms me. But it doesn’t knock me to my knees like the overwhelming, throbbing pain throughout my body that incapacitates me. It feels as if I got hit by a bus. And nothing makes the pain stop. Not laying out, not curling up in a ball, definitely not standing, just moving makes it worse.

But as I’m crouched down, desperately trying to regain my composure, that strong smell of something burned attacks my nostrils...then my stomach turns. It’s me...it’s burnt flesh. A hand shaped burn is seared onto my stomach. I nearly gag. It’s as if I’ve been branded.

There’s only one thing that I can think of that can burn a handprint into flesh. Demon.

The scuffle of bodies snaps my eyes further down the alley. Two men wrestle each other. The city is dark, but I don’t need much light to be able to identify Caleb and Gabriel. I flinch with each punch of Caleb’s fist as it makes contact with Gabriel. I watch the swing, hear the crunch.

But the tables quickly turn and Gabriel takes the upperhand. His swings land with a heavier thud and Caleb crumbles from the force. He stumbles out of view for a fraction of a second, a wolf reappearing in his place.

I’ve only seen Caleb in his wolf form twice. Watching it happen and watching him change back is forever etched into my brain. The fight continues, a mess of sharp teeth and lightning quick claws. Gashed skin and viscous bite marks. I know only one will walk away from this. The problem is I’m not sure who I prefer.

As if I have a choice. The two of them attack each other till one tires and then the other takes advantage. Gabriel doesn’t grow weak, in fact over time it seems he grows stronger. Punch after punch land with precision and the wolf whimpers and staggers on his four paws.

Until he doesn’t get up, slowly changing back to his human form.

“Caleb.” It hurts to speak. The harder I breathe, hyperventilating starts to seep in, my throat constricting tighter.

Gabriel marches up to me, blood on knuckles, blood on his lips.*

I’m shaken so violently the muscles in my neck spasm, my hands flail until they smack into a very close body. “Hazel. Wake up.” Caleb’s voice shouts at me, but I’m still semi asleep, so it sounds so far away.

It takes a few seconds for it all to fall into place. “I’m up. I’m up.” The residual pain and ache from the dream stay with me and hitch my words. Slapping his hands away is a feeble attempt, but he gets the clue. “I said I’m up.”

“You were yelling and crying out. It sounded like you were dying.” Caleb runs his hand through his hair. “It took forever to wake you. I didn’t think…” His words trail off. “I might’ve been a little...rough. Are you okay?”

“It was just a nightmare.” We make eye contact, his glare, skeptical. We both know that I don’t have just nightmares.

They always mean something. What did this one mean? I already know that they hate each other and if given the opportunity they would most definitely fight to the death.

But the hell happened to me?