61: Fragile

I wake up on the floor, exactly where I thought I was. “Thanks for nothing, Gabriel.” I grumble. The effort it takes to lift myself up isn’t worth it, so I lay there for a while, useless. Gabriel was still in The Old Country at Phillip’s request and he was using old magic to get to me. My magic has no chance of going up against magic like that.

When I do finally start to move, I don’t go far. I go from the living room floor to the living room couch. Hours go by and it’s only when a knock taps against the door that I jolt to my feet. My limbs stiff from being immobile for so long. Even though I stand up, eyes on the door, I don’t move towards it.

“Hazel? You better be in there since you weren’t at the shop.” Caleb groans from the other side.

My feet start to move. With the door wide open, I invite him in and linger in the kitchen. “How was your talk?” I immediately put the focus on him not giving him a chance to put his attention on me.

“Dravon agreed with me staying here to keep an eye on things. Phillip is bound to come back home and when he does I’ll be one of the first to know.” He pauses and really looks at me. “Everything alright?” His hand goes to smooth some hair from my face.

“Yeah. It’s just been a weird day. Back to work, found out Monty might be leaving, had a reading client come in today too.” I rattle everything off...well almost everything.
“Do you want Avery to come over? We can have a movie night. I know you love Avery movie nights.” He doesn’t say it, but Avery always has a way of making me feel better.

“Sure.” I reply.

Caleb goes to call Avery in the other room, no doubt talking about me behind my back to her. He found someone to confide in and I just gained another set of concerning eyes. As he’s doing that I change into my pjs and get some snacks going.

It’s a half an hour tops when Avery arrives with two bottles of wine in each hand. I invite her in and she goes straight to the kitchen in search of a bottle opener.

“If I have to listen to anyone else talk about vampires, I think I’m gonna snap.” Avery says with aggression in her voice. The cork pops out and she takes a swig right out of the bottle.

“I see you called dibs on that one, so I’ll take one for myself. I grab the closest one and snatch the opener from her. “I could get glasses, but…” I heave and grunt as I struggle in getting mine uncorked. When it finally does come loose, I’m out of breath. “...but, I think it's a bottle kinda day too.” I take a long chug keeping my facial expressions to a minimum when it burns its way down my throat.

I hold it out and she clinks the neck of her bottle to mine. “Why don’t you go pick out a movie and I’ll make some popcorn.” I tell Avery before digging out two bowls.

I hear her chime a hello to Caleb and joke about her bottle of wine. Between their chatter and the constant popping of the corn, I space out for a moment. My mind flashing to Gabriel. I quickly shake it loose. It will not happen again. It will not happen again.

I plop down on the couch next to Avery with one bowl as Caleb sits in the reclining chair with the other. He looks tired and as his eyes stare at the screen, I catch his lids slide closed not even a half an hour in. Avery and I keep hushed for the remainder of the movie not wanting to wake him up. Our drunken giggles come close to waking him a few times, but he just shuffles in the chair and falls back into a deep sleep.

The movie ends quicker than I’d like. It’s okay being with Caleb, but Avery seems to understand the situation better. Because she’s a girl, a human, I’m not sure.

“Did you want to stay? You can sleep on the couch. I mean if Caleb can do it, you can.” I jab my thumb at Caleb who has started snoring.

She yawns as she shakes her head. “I ordered a ride when I caught you dozing off. We all obviously need some sleep.” Her eyes land on Caleb. “What are you gonna do with him?”

“Uh, leave him in the chair.”

She laughs at my evilness. “He’ll be hurting when he wakes up.”

I shrug my shoulders. Like I said, he slept on the couch and didn’t complain, the chair can’t be much worse.

With goodbyes said and promises to talk later, Avery leaves. I play nice and take the empty bowl of popcorn off of Caleb’s lap and gently place a blanket over him. I’m not that much of a monster.

I stand in the living room feeling lost. I should go to sleep too, but just the thought of having my mind at rest and not on alert for intrusions tenses my muscles and quickens my breath. One step in front of the other at a pace slower than a snail, I make my way to the bedroom.

I lay in the middle of the bed not leaving room for anyone to join me, hopefully physically and mentally. My eyes refuse to close at first, but at some point in time I pass out.
How much time has passed, I’m not sure, but my exhaustion comes to an end when I jolt awake, drenched in sweat, the covers tangled around my limbs. There’s a sharp grunt and then crash before frantic feet stomp through the apartment. Caleb barges into the bedroom chest heaving. He sits on the edge of the bed, his hands firmly rest on top of my legs. “It’s just a dream. You’re okay.”

I take a deep breath and slowly exhale. A nightmare, just a regular nightmare that’s been plaguing my dreams for the past several weeks. Not a nightmare that’s sending any sort of message. It’s just Felix staring down at me, his hand burning its way through my arm. His words, ‘you're fair game now witch’ on his lips.

“Go back to sleep.” Caleb insists.

“Did you fall off the chair?” I’m hoping my serious tone doesn’t come off as taunting even though I can’t keep the smirk off my face. Just imagining him jumping out of the chair in shock and collapsing onto the floor brings on a soft giggle.

“Maybe smartass.” He gets up only to walk around to the otherside of the bed and lays next to me just like he’s been doing these past few weeks. Above the blankets, hands to himself. “Now make some room for me or you’ll be falling off the bed.”

I move over, because I know he’ll keep to his word. That and how he prefers space between us. Sometimes I find myself cuddled into his side or holding his hand after waking from a peaceful sleep, but it never leads to anything.

Caleb changed since he went to Scarlet River. I haven’t quite put my finger on it, but there’s more awareness, a responsibility that he never had with Marcus and Midnight Harrows. Not to mention his regret. It’s created a pretty thick wall between us, all the things he should’ve done, all things it’s too late to fix. I can see something in his eyes everytime he looks at me. Something even worse than his regrets, fear. I’m broken, fragile, torn up all because of a vampire.

He can’t fix this. I’m not sure anyone can besides the one that caused it.