Chapter 27 - Recollections

I sighed and blinked the tears from my eyes. It was difficult for me to admit that Evan was right, and I experienced a slight sense of remorse. As to why I had not looked at it from that perspective earlier. Looking back at Evan's sorrowful eyes, I abruptly recollected the scene as if it had occurred only a few days ago. As children, we were merely standing in a field of grass. The scene persisted indefinitely, with the backdrop consisting solely of greenery encountering the sky.

Evan, who was a bright blonde, was standing on his tiptoes and holding a yellow lotus. My height was an inch or two higher than Evan's, and I was bewildered by his love confession to me. Why I was so happy with this was beyond my comprehension. Had I harboured feelings for him in secret as well?
The moment Evan bent forward, I was aware that he was intending to kiss me. While he caressed my lips, I closed my eyes and experienced a sense of tranquillity and joy. It was the most innocent moment of my life. Is this a sign that I would eventually marry Evan?
As I returned to reality, the tears had overflowed from the corners of my eyes.

"Is everything all right with you? I'm sorry I lied to you.

"That is not the case," I said, wiping away the tears. "I remember you. In that field of grass near our school, I recall kissing you for the first time."

Evan appeared to comprehend the situation at last. He enveloped me in his arms and pressed my face against his chest. I gripped his back and probed his skin with my talons. I wept briefly as he clutched me. I longed to return to that moment, when life was uncomplicated and there were no werewolves or vampires. Slowly, it began to dawn on me how much I had actually forgotten.
I lost my mother, my father was incarcerated by the Underworlders, and Evan and I were once romantically involved.

As I felt his kiss on the crown of my head, I recoiled in order to gaze at him. He helped me wipe the tears from my cheekbones, which were stinging.
"Everything will be alright, I promise."

"How? Despite the fact that we murder him, how can we be certain that they will not also kill us?"

"Because that is not how it works. All werewolves are about overtaking power. The power and respect of the tribe are conferred upon the person who kills the alpha. At the very least, we will secure their ability to observe."

"Okay," I replied, nodding. As I continued to gaze into his eyes, my desire to kiss him intensified. As opposed to Damon, it was not motivated by lust and wrath. The experience was distinct; I sensed that kissing him would provide me with peace. The same sense of bliss and pleasure that I experienced as a young girl in that field was my aspiration. Evan approached my lips, and I came to the realization that I had placed my trust in him. There was an unusual sensation of trusting someone, and I was unable to suppress the dread that accompanied it. There was a hair strand between us and a kiss.
The shop owner's arrival was announced by a cough, and Evan and I immediately parted ways.

"Did you find it?" This was stated by Evan.

"I did, indeed. You said that you need two bunches?"

Several stores away, we were able to locate death cap mushrooms. Tenseness prevailed for the initial few minutes following Evan's nearly kiss. I was unable to fathom the fate of the two of us in the event that someone observed us and reported it to Damon. I presume that we would both be killed if such a thing occurred; therefore, I was compelled to exercise caution in my future endeavours. I am incapable of acting on Evan's new emotions, regardless of their inevitable development. At least not until Damon is permanently removed from the picture. The small store's aisles were investigated by me while Evan collected one gram of the death cap mushrooms. I noticed an object in a white square cardboard package that was labelled "birth control."

At first, I hesitated; I wasn't sure if it was a wise decision to conceal them from Damon. He would certainly kill me if he discovered them.
However, it was impossible for me to bear his baby; I could not become a slave to motherhood, as the other human dolls were.
It's not like he's having sex with you. I thought.
Even so, it could occur at any moment, including tonight, if he so desired. Safer would be to acquire them and conceal them with, for example, headache medication.

"Are you done?" At Evan's voice, I jumped.

His visage was beset by concern as he inquired, "Are you feeling well?" For a brief period, I bit my lip and contemplated the matter.

I reached for the box and asked, "Could you please include this?"

It was examined by him, and the concern was replaced by realization.

"Are you sure it's safe to have this?"

"No," I replied candidly. "However, the alternative is to have a baby with an horrible man." Risking it is not an option for me.