Chapter 11

**Skyler Johnson**

"Why don't you just run away. There is a whole world outside Los Angeles. I can even get you a new identity." Nat says as we sit down at our table.

"Nat, how would you get me a fake ID?" I raise my eyebrow at her and she shrugs.

"I know a guy. We could get it done you know. Die you hair red and give you a name like Scarlet." She says and I laugh, shaking my head at her.

"I don't know if I should be more worried that you can get me a fake ID or that you've given it this much thought." I tell her and she gives me a cheeky smile.

"Think about it." She says and I bite my lip. I think back to Xavier's words from two days ago and a shiver runs down my spine. How can someone just say something like that and not even bat an eye? I will put a bullet in your head... Is that what I have to look forward too? Being married to a man that can kill someone in cold blood and not even care about it. I can do much worse than a bullet. I don't doubt that and it scares me that I don't

"I don't think you just run away from something like this. I fear Xavier much more than I fear whoever else is out there." I let her in on the realization I had the night of the party. While the blue eyed guy made my skin scrawl I couldn't help but be disgusted with myself for seeking safety in someone much worse than he is. I have no doubt this Demetri guy doesn't hide who he is but Xavier puts on his face all day everyday. Turning from a normal guy in a suit to a cold blooded killer and not having any guilty feelings. Is this what happens to people? Life treats them wrong so they become judge jury and executioner?

"Did he do something to you?" She leans over the table, concern shining in her eyes and I shake my head.

"No, he didn't." She stares at me for a few seconds more before she sits back and nods. "He wouldn't hurt me, Nat. Not physically anyway." I add and she frowns once more.

"What are you saying?" Her voice is weary and I shrug.

"He might break me, this might break me and I don't know if I'm going to like the person I'm going to be when all this is over." I tell her and I know this will never be over, not until I take my last breath on this earth.

"Then why are you doing this?" She almost pleads with me to just give up but I can't. I know I can't, not after this weekend. Not when they know my face.

"Because I was born with a responsibility." I tell her and then silence falls over us. "Hey, have you heard from Tristan? I tried calling him but he's not picking up and I can only go by his house so many times before I'm deemed as a stalker." I tell her and she gives me a hesitant look. "What?"

"He's actually asked me to tell you to leave him alone. He's not doing too good and I think you calling him is making it worse." She says and I can feel my eyes water. "Just give him some time, I'm sure he'll come around. He doesn't know why you're doing this but he kind of thinks you left him for a life of crime." She says and I run my hand though my hair in frustration.

"That's kind of what happened. I just thought we could be friends, we were always friends." I say with a defeated sigh.

"You're trying to protect him, us all. Mason's mad at me for still hanging out with you though, he says I can't have it both ways and now he won't talk to me." She says and my eyes widen.

"You don't have to loose them because of me, Nat. I'll be fine on my own." I tell her and she shakes her head.

"You don't want to tell them, I get that but I'm not leaving you to deal with this on your own. You need a friend and that twelve year old isn't going to cut it, no matter how cute she is." She says and I laugh at her expression. Candice and Natalie kind of have a love hate relationship because they both claim I'm their best friend and it doesn't sit well with either of them.

"Okay." I give in and giver her a soft smile before it goes away again when I think about why I called her to have lunch in the first place. "My mom is having us meet with a wedding planner tomorrow." I tell her and her eyed widen.

"It's only been like, what? Six weeks?" She asks and I nod.

"She thinks the sooner we get married the sooner things will settle down. Apparently some people aren't to happy about this wedding." I say and she frowns.

"Well, they can join the club." She says and I laugh. "Are you sure about this though? I can get you that ID in twenty four hours, you know." She says and I shake my head.

"I'm tired, Nat. I never thought my life would turn out this way and I'm tired. I'm tired of having to put up a face in front of people and lie to the people I love. I have to build a life here and it's all based of off lies, guilt and anger." I tell her and this time I don't stop the tears that falls down my face.

"I'm sorry." She whispers and I know she is, even though none of this is her fault I know she's sorry and honestly I am too.

"It's not your fault." I tell her and reach out to take her hand over the table. For the rest of lunch we talk about anything and everything that doesn't have to do with our friends or my messed up life. After lunch we go to get our nails and hair done and I go ahead and cut my hair down to shoulder length with side swept bangs and Nat get's highlights that looks great on her. By the time I've dropped Nat home and start heading home it's almost dinner time and after the good day I've had I don't know if I want to deal with my parents tonight.

"You cut your hair!" Cecil says as soon as I walk into the living room to find the whole Black family in there. Candice runs over to me and throws her arms around my waist and I hug her back, ignoring Xavier's piercing gaze on me.

"Yeah, I needed a cut." I say and sweep my bangs out of my face. I take a seat besides Candice, ignoring the empty seat besides Xavier that's obviously been left for me.

"That's more than a cut." My mother says and I can hear how upset she is. I think it's more the fact that I made the choice without asking her about it and well, if they're going to make choices without asking me I can do the same to them.

"It's hair, ma. It'll grow back." I tell her and she nods but I can tell she's not happy. "Is there a reason why you're all here?" I ask because the last time they were here I was handed of to their son without another thought.

"Yeah, mom said we were going to talk wedding tonight." Candice says, an excited look on her face. She's probably the only one that has any real excitement about this wedding and I'm not going to be the one to ruin it for her.

"Well, that's exciting. I'm just going to freshen up, I'll be back." I tell them and get up before anyone can say anything. I rush up to my room and throw my bag on the bed. In the bathroom I throw some cold water on my face, despite having makeup on and stare at myself in the mirror. I want to laugh at the nightmarish look on my face but I just take some makeup wipes and start taking it all of. One my face is free of everything I wash it, dry and put some cream on it. As I leave the bathroom I freeze at the sight of Xavier standing on my room, looking at the pictures on my wall.