Chapter 13

**Skyler Johnson**

"I love it!" Nancy, our wedding planner shouts as I lay out the different deigns that I printed out last night. "This is going to be beautiful and with everyone in white with the wedding party is shades of blue? Wonderful." She says and I can tell Cecil would rather cut her own arm of than be listening to this woman agree to everything I want.

"I still think rose gold would look more elegant." Cecil says and I roll my eyes at her. I'm on my last wit with this woman and if she wasn’t Xavier's mother I wouldn't have her at my wedding at all. All she's done since this morning is disagree with what I want and I'm sick of it.

"Well, I don't want a rose gold wedding with white roses and anything else you want to add and if you're not happy with that you're welcome to stay home the day of my wedding." I say while getting up and waking out of the shop. I take a deep breath as the door shuts behind me and run my hand though my hair. This is an absolute mess and neither Natalie nor Candice is here to keep me from loosing my shit. All I have is my mother, Cecil, Xavier and a very annoying Gabe here and I hate it. They can't even let me have the wedding I want in peace.

"Are you okay?" Xavier asks as he steps out of the store and I glare at him. "Okay, I'll take that as a resounding no." He says and stuffs his hands in his pockets. I sigh and shake my head, I might not like him very much but he didn't do anything wrong, this time, so there's no need for me to be rude to him.

"I'm sorry, can you just maybe get your mother to keep her mouth shut?" I ask him and he laughs. I don't know why he finds it so funny that his mother and I aren't getting along with this wedding thing but I don't think there's a damn thing to laugh about. I would like to get along with my mother in law, even if she was forced upon me.

"I don't think she'll listen to me but I'll talk to her." He says and I give him a grateful smile. "You want to go back in?" He asks after a few minutes and I shake my head.

"I think I'm done talking about weddings for the day." I tell him and he nods.

"Want to get out of here?" He asks, holding up his car keys and I nod. I don't really care that I've left my purse and phone behind and that I'm running of with a man I could care less about but I need a break and he's providing one. We head to his car and once we're both in and buckled up he drives away, I'm sure my mother will take my stuff so I'm not worried about that. I'll just call Nancy sometime tonight and make another appointment with her.

"Where are we going?" I ask him when I notice he's driving out of the city.

"You'll see." He says and I don't question him further. I just turn on the radio, close my eyes and lean back against the seat. A while later he stops the car and I smile when I notice we're at the beach. In all this mess I didn't even realize I haven't been here at all this summer. We get out and walk down to the sand in silence. We take our shoes of and carry them in our hands and just walk along the shore.

"I don't like you very much." I tell Xavier and he looks down at me with a blank look on his face.

"I noticed." Is all he says before looking away again.

"I just think you should know I don't hate you. I did, at first but then I thought that this couldn't be any easier on you but that doesn't mean I have to like you very much." I explain and he nods.

"Don't you think we should learn to get along. I mean, if we're going to have kids one day you're going to have to like me." He says and I shake my head.

"I told you I'm not having kids. I'm not going to bring them into this and ruin they're lives." I say and he gives me an unimpressed look.

"I want kids, Skyler. I might be a cold blooded killer in your eyes but I had the best child hood money can buy and I want kids. I want to teach my son to be a man and spoil my daughter rotten. I want that and since you're the only person that can give me that I want that with you." He says and I bite my lip.

"Do you really think it's fair brining kids into this messed up life? To tell them that they can't have freedom and have them spend their whole lives looking over their shoulders?" I ask him and he sighs.

"Look, this doesn't normally happen, not in this life. The only reason this is happening at the moment is because your father wants to keep you safe and since you're his only child he felt like this was his only option." He tells me and I raise my eyebrow at him.

"You were his only option?" I ask and he shakes his head.

"No, there are other guys he could have chosen but I was the best option. He's seen me grow up and his kind of best friends with my father." He says and I nod my head. "Can I ask you a question?" I nod even though I want to make a smart remark that he already asked me one. "Have you ever felt in danger in your life? Has there ever been a time that you knew you weren't safe?" He asks and I shake my head.

"No, what's your point?" I ask him and he sighs.

"My point is, even though you had no idea who your father was he kept you safe, the same way my father kept me and Candice safe and the same way I'm going to keep our children safe." He says and my stomach turns when he mentions children. To have children I'm going to have to love him and I don't see that happening.

"I don't want children, Xavier." I tell him and that ends our conversation. This is the most meaningful conversation we've ever had and I don't know if I should be happy or nervous about it.

"Do you want ice cream?" He asks out of the blue and I frown at him until he points to a vendor selling ice cream. I nod and we walk over to the man and buy some of the frozen treat. Xavier get's double chocolate chip and I get blueberry and with our mouths full of the sweet cold treat we make our way back to the car and I find myself questioning if I really dislike Xavier as much as I think I do or do I just dislike him because of the situation.