Chapter 20

**Xavier Black**

I don't know when the change came, exactly. One moment I was emptying my stomach every time I saw blood and the next my face was stone cold when blood splattered all over the place. I think back to the time I had a lot of friends, always having them around and hanging out at random until I found myself annoyed with their existence and smiling in their faces because I had to, not because I wanted to. I don't know when the nightmares turned into just another dream and I don't know when the dreams turned into fairy tails that would never come true.

I do know I learned to control my emotions better. I hid my feelings behind a blank mask and I made people uncomfortable with the cold stare I had. I know the cold steel of a gun became my happy place and dragging out information from someone a hobby I was very good in, not that I indulged in it very much. I do know it took me some time to find the line between being human and being a robot. I had to learn again after I shut myself off but I was always in control. I can laugh in your face one minute and kill you in cold blood the next, if the situation called for it and I knew it wasn't normal. I had spend a lot of time on my knees, begging God to change me but went right back to what I knew. Now I spend time on my knees begging for forgiveness, every day of my life and sometimes I mean it and sometimes I don't but I have to ask, don't I?

"He's not going to talk, is he?" Gabe asks as I stare at the slumped over body in front of me. I shake my head, confirming what I knew from the very start. He was never going to talk and I've been wasting my time coming here this week but he did serve some type of a relief. He stayed alive long enough for me to take out every bit of anger and annoyance I had this week. Most of that anger came from Skyler and I'm not going to hide the fact that I'm at the end of my rope with her.

"No, he never was." I say, picking up the gun and putting a bullet in chest even though he might have been dead already, you can never be to careful.

"Someone will have to clean this up." I say as I place the gun on the table before leaving the room.

Up in my own room, under the shower I let my mind drift to this past week. Just when I thought things were going to be alright they turn to shit and I'm right back where I started. I haven't talked to Skyler outside wedding planning and at the moment I just feel like calling the whole damn thing of. I was kidding myself in thinking I could get her to trust me before she walked down the isle and I was kidding myself when I thought she could at least like me by the time we promise our lives to each other.

I know she's keeping something from me and it started the day we went cake tasting. Whatever she was looking at on her phone is the reason and if I wanted to be an asshole I would have Ura hack into it and find out what she's hiding but like a damn puppy I'm waiting for her to tell me. I don't exactly know what it is about this girl that makes me want to act like a fucken saint, because I never have but I'm tired of thinking I might be getting somewhere when I'm really not.

"Long time no see." The red head on my bed says and I freeze in my steps. How she even got in here I don't know but when I find out someone is going to be in big trouble.

"What are you doing here, Megan?" I ask her as I move into my closet. This is the last thing I wanted to deal with today, not with Skyler's already fucking with my head. I don't need another woman to do that.

"You weren't answering my calls and then I see you on every gossip sight with this little dark haired girl." She says, sounding every bit like a jealous girlfriend and I roll my eyes.

"I don't have to answer your calls and that girl has nothing to do with you." I tell her as I run a brush through my damp hair.

"So, you just buy me a house and that's it? She asks and I can hear the hurt in her voice. "I thought we had something going, Xavier." She says and I almost want to laugh but I refrain from doing so.

"We never had anything going. I helped you get away from your abusive fucker of a husband and that's it." I tell her, pulling on my shirt and tucking it into my pants before I leave the closet. "I didn't sleep with you or give you any reason to think we were ever going to be a thing." I say and she rolls her eyes.

"You did something so much more meaningful than sleeping with me, Xavier. You have me time and attention and you never did that with anyone else." She says and I sigh, pinching my nose.

"No one else was getting beaten fifty shades of blue every day." I say, wishing I would have just followed my first mind and walked away after the first time I met her at the club.

"Don't I mean anything to you?" She asks and I look at her like she's insane, witch she probably is.

"No, you don't. Now, I have somewhere to be so I would love it if you left." I tell her, putting on my shoes and grabbing my wallet and car keys. I leave her in the room and quickly make my way out of the house but not before asking one of my men to deal with her. The drive back to the city is spent in silence because I have enough on my mind to deal with the radio making noise. By the time I pull up to the restaurant I'm ten minutes late but I don't really give a fuck at the moment.

"You're late." My father says and I give him a bored look, ignoring the piercing eyes across the table.

"Yeah, I am." I say flatly and he leaves it at that.

"Okay, now that we're all here we can get down to business." My mother says and I hope it's not another scene about the wedding because I can't take it if I'm being honest. "Skyler, I wanted to apologize to you for the way I've been acting. I just wanted to give you the best and I know now that the best for you would be if I listened to what you want." My mother says and for the first time in twenty four hours I look at the brown haired girl across from me and guilt bubbles up in my stomach.

"It's okay. I should be the one apologizing." She says and my mother shakes her head. As the woman go back and forth and end up both saying sorry I take in the tired look in Skyler's eyes and come to the conclusion that I'm going to have to get to the bottom of whatever is wrong with her.