Chapter 29

**Skyler Johnson**

Screams echo through the room and it takes me a few seconds to realize it's mine. It also takes me a second to realize I'm not surrounded by bodies anymore and that I'm in a room I've never seen before. Just as I think Demetri might have knocked me out and put me back in a room the door swings open and Xavier comes rushing in with wide eyes. He quickly makes his way over to me and it only takes me a few seconds to cling to him, just to make sure he's real.

"You're okay." He shushes me and I realize I'm breathing hard. It takes a few minutes to get my breathing under control and by the time I do I realize we're not alone in the room anymore. My parents alone with Xavier's parents and Candice is standing in the doorway and for a minute I find myself wondering where Natalie is when it all comes crashing down and tears fall from my eyes and I cling to Xavier tighter. "Can you guys give us a minute?" He asks and I hear a lot of shuffling before the door closes and we're alone once more.

"I killed them all." I say through my tears, my heart feeling like it's going to split in two. "Tristan...then..." I try to tell him through my tears but the words don't come out right and I feel like a horrible human being.

"Tristan's in the hospital and you did nothing wrong." He says and I sit back, staring at him with shock in my eyes. Did he not hear me when I told him I killed people? "You were defending yourself, it doesn't make you a bad person." He says and I shake my head.

"I could have done anything else but she..." I trail of and look at him with wide eyes.

"She's going to be dealt with." He says a hard look in his eyes. I know exactly what he means by that and I wait for the feeling of remorse to hit me, for me to feel sad but it doesn't come. It just feels empty inside and I don't know what to do with that feeling because I've never felt anything like it before. Like, where all the love was supposed to be is just a big black hole and I don't know how to fill it.

"Xavier." I beg. I don't know what I'm begging for though, for him to fill the void or make it all alright or not look at me like the monster I am.

"You're fine." He says, pulling me into his arms and I'm grateful, too grateful for the support to question why he's not running for the hills because I'm crying in his arms. I don't know when I calm down but even when I do I don't let go of Xavier, I just curl in closer to him and close my eyes.
When I wake up again I'm alone but this time I don't freak out because I know exactly where I am. I run my hand through my hair a few times and then slide of the bed. I'm fully aware I'm just in Xavier's shirt but I don't really care so I just use the bathroom and leave the room. I can hear noises from downstairs as I walk down the stairs and I also notice the sun is setting again causing me to frown. I've missed three days now and I don't like it.

"You're awake!" Candice screams as I walk into the room and runs towards me. She throws her arms around me and I return the hug, holding back the tears in my eyes as I take in her scent. I realize just how much I missed her during this time and for a minute I feel like I'm never going to let her go before I realize I have a whole room of people still to greet.

"My sweet girl." My mother says as she pulls me into her arms. MY father's next and he's followed by Cecil and then Zachary. When their all done I look around the room, noticing Gabe, Ura and Maxwell is also there. Max gives me a curt nod, Ura smiles and Gabe and I share a pained look, some kind of understanding passing between us and I know this will forever bind us in a way no one will ever understand. I make my way over to Xavier, curling into his side, like I belong there and if I'm being honest with myself I do. It's the only place I'm ever going to belong from now on.

"It's sad that we're not going to be able to have the wedding now." Candice says, curling herself into my other side and I look at her in confusion.

"Who said we're not having a wedding?" I ask because through all this mess I hadn't even thought about cancelling the wedding.

"Well, we just thought you wouldn't want to deal with a wedding after all this." My mother says and I shake my head.

"I want to get married." I say, ignoring the surprised looks form everyone in the room. "You haven't cancelled everything, have you?" I ask as soon as the thought crosses my mind.

"No, we were to busy worrying about you." Cecil says and I nod.

"Then we're getting married." I say and they all look around, slightly uncomfortable with the choice I just made. Xavier looks down at me and motions for me to get up before he's leading us out of the living room and into the kitchen.

"Why are you doing this, no expects us to get married anymore, not after what just happened." He says and I stare at my bare feet for a minute before looking up at him.

"I expect us to get married, it's kind of what you do when you love someone." His eyes widen at my words and he opens and closes his mouth a few times, looking for the right words to say.

"I think you're a bit confused after everything that happened, you don't have to say you love me because I saved you." He says and I shake my head.

"You're an idiot if you think I love you because you saved me. I shouldn't love you, not after the way you've been treating me these last few weeks but every time I think of not loving you I feel like I can't breath. It's strange really because I don't think I ever hated you, I just didn't want to love you and now look at where that got me." I say, motioning at myself as I let out a tired sigh.

"Where did it get you?" He asks and for a moment I think he's messing with me but his face has this serious, yet conflicted look on it and I realize it's going to take him some time to believe me because I haven't made thing easy for him.

"Look, none of this made sense to me at first. I was just going through the motions, trying to make everyone happy and keep everyone safe when I should have really been thinking about me, about us in the first place." I tell him and take a deep breath to steady myself. "That night in the restuarant when you wouldn't talk to me I felt like my heart was torn out and then I realized I haven't been fair towards you, about any of this. You were there through all of it, while I was being so rude and still you showed up and I realized somewhere between Candice's spelling bee and wedding planning I kind of fell in love with you and it scared me." I stop because I don't think I can say anything without crying and I don't want to cry.

"Are you scared now?" He asks and I shake my head.

"Two days locked in a room with the thought of never seeing you again kind of made me afraid in a different way. I was scared you would never know and it didn't even matter if you didn't love me I just had to tell you." I tell him and it's true. Even if he never loves me I'll still love him like I do now and I'll love him more every day we spend together because every day I'll be reminded that he stuck by my side, even if I turned into a monster no one could love.