FOURTEEN

Turning in the bed which reeked of masculine scent, Ashley wondered why terrible things were happening to her. First her cheating husband, then the divorce, then her house, her home which she had used time and money to build, got burnt terribly.

Gripping the pillow closer, Ashley replayed the moment from earlier that night. After the firefighters had arrived and tried to take control of the situation, Ashley went totally numb. She had heard from what seemed like a distance, Dave telling her it was going to be okay, that things were going to be fine.

Things were not fine at all.

And the worst part about her house burning, the few people that were around in their respective homes did not deem it fit to call the firefighters hotline. Ashley got the fact that most of the women there did not like her, but the almost the whole neighbourhood not even bothering to intervene, that was just cruel.

Sighing, Ashley turned again to face the ceiling of the trailer which was covered with decorated and polished wood.

She wanted to cry, but she was afraid all her tears had been spent mourning her destroyed marriage. So, she just stared at the ceiling, shutting out all thoughts. Not wanting to feel anything at that moment, Ashley hugged the soft pillow even closer.

With a heart feeling heavy and her mind slowly going back into the misery it was in for weeks, sleep seemed like a strange concept.

Ashley feared that she would carry the heaviness of her heart into her recently restored safe place, so, she decided to just lay that way, weary eyes on the shiny ceiling.

~

Dave’s scent on the pillow that kept her company through the night woke her up.

Her dream was terrible.

Her house was on fire and she was burning with it too. Staring at the drawer in front of her, she recalled how Kevin’s laughter haunted her as he engaged her mother with his lips.

It was a pure nightmare. Even her uncle was there, he kept shouting something at her that she could not hear. She also recalled Dave trying to put out the fire with buckets and buckets of water, also shouting something she could not make out.

All she heard were her screams.
Ashley could still hear it in her head. And that made her wonder what would have happened if she was in the house during the fire.

The thought made her shake with fear.

“You are awake.” Her eyes flickered to the entrance where Dave stood against the wall. “You slept through the night without eating. I bet you are hungry.” He walked towards her and sat on the edge of the bed, his hand going on to caress the side of her face as she watched him silently. “I made us breakfast. Freshen up and come have your meal.”

Nodding as she could not even bear to talk at that moment, Ashley sat up grudgingly to look out towards the little window. The sky looked clear that morning, only have her mind could be as empty as it.

“Ashley, are you going to be fine?” Adjusting her head to stare out with increased concentration, Dave seemed to get her message as he sighed and walked out.

Minutes later, Ashley finally came out of the room. Dressed in an over-sized tee shirt and barely sizing shorts, she swept her hair into a ponytail of some sort.

“Have your seat.” Ashley could decipher the care and caution that flowed with Dave’s voice. His eyes carried the same emotions. Ashley sat on the maroon coloured sofa that defined his living room, her eyes on the breakfast, not wanting to look at the man.

“I hope you like waffles drizzled with chocolates!” The excitement in his tone met with a swift nod from Ashley. Ashley could feel him watch her with query all over him. He was probably analyzing her.

She didn’t need analyzing. She didn’t need fixing as well.
“I will be lodging at a hotel as from this night.”

“Why? You are already staying here, aren’t you?”

He could have just said; *okay no problem*. “I don’t want to impose.”

“Impose? You are already a part of my life Ashley. Like it or not you are my responsibility.”

Anger seethed through her. “Responsibility?” Ashley hollered as she turned to face him. “I did not ask you to at anytime to take care of me and I don’t need to be taken care of either!”

Dave met her infuriation with a calm look. After a few minutes of staring at her patiently, he asked, “What exactly is wrong , Ashley?”

“You want to know what is wrong? Having you in my life is wrong! I don’t want you in my life.”

He was still calm. “What exactly is wrong?” Ashley’s eyes darted to the side as her anger died down a bit. “I can tell your anger is not because of me being in your life. Ashley,” his hand wrapped around hers that was busy clutching away at the edge of the couch. “, just tell me what is wrong.”

“I just don’t want you in my life,” she quietly said.

“Why?”

“Because… because I am…”

“Go on, Ashley.”

“I don’t want anything to happen to you.”

“What do you mean?”

“Look at my life Dave, it is as if I am cursed. First, my husband cheated, then the divorce and the sadness that came with it, then finding out I am adopted. And now, my house got burnt. God knows what else is going to happen. So, I don’t want you near my jinxed life. I don’t want to drag you into my issues.”

“Don’t you think you are over reacting a bit?”

Ashley could feel the cooled rage resurfacing. “Over reacting? What do you mean, over reacting?”

He dropped the glass of orange juice in his hand. “See, I won’t argue with the fact that your life hasn’t been easy in the past few weeks. But, Ashley, trust me when I say, you are not jinxed. Neither are you going to jinx me.”

“So?”

Dave rubbed the base of his chin as he continued. “Whatever it is you are going through right now is all part of the life cycle. As a human being living on earth, you have to realize that as there are good times, there will be bad times. That is how the balance in life is achieved.

Being in the bad times right now doesn’t mean you should start dressing yourself with sadness. Bad times are periods when you should be strong, stronger than ever before in order to pull through the situations.”

“That’s it Dave, I am too weak to deal with this. I can’t take these happenings the way they are coming. They are unbearable.”

“Ashley…”

“Please don’t continue your philosophical talks.”

“I am just trying to tell you how to go about this situation.”

“I don’t need your help. I never did,” she retorted.

Dave scoffed, looking away for a second. “So, because your house got burnt, your house that has insurance, you want to go back into the gloominess you were in for some weeks. Ashley, don’t be this way.”

“I am too tired for this talk.” She got up.

“Stop.” Dave grabbed her hand as he got up too. “If it is talking to me that will help, please talk to me. I don’t just want to see you crawling back into sadness.”

“What is it to you?” she asked, her back still facing him. “All you ever want to do is fix. Listen, Mr. Scott, I am not a pipe. I am a human being and I can’t be fixed so easily.”

“Yes, you can. If only you could stop basking in this weakness of yours and let me help you.”

The affection in his voice had begun to haunt her, Ashley could not take it anymore. Pulling out of his grip forcefully, grabbed a plate of waffles and said, “I will be in your room.”

As she walked, she could feel his eyes watching her sadly and for some reason, that made her heart groan like it was being tortured.