THIRTY SEVEN

Ashley stirred in her sleep.

Her dream this time was different.

It was happier, simpler. It made her feel free.

But it was just a dream. It ended as soon as a scratchy noise from the outside world took over the cries of the cute baby she was cuddling. Shutting her eyes even more, Ashley pushed for the scene to continue. Even if Dave was not in her life anymore, having him in her dreams was more than enough because for some reason, it made her feel safe.

It seemed like her *safe* *place* was back after all.

Finally, she thought or rather *felt* it would be better if she just opened her eyes.

As her lashes danced indecisively, the events she was last aware of replayed. So, she wasn’t so surprised to see herself in what seemed like a private hospital room. The only question she wanted answered was who it was that was with her.

Her heart already knew the answer, but her eyes wanted to be sure.

And there he sat, his hair looking expensively styled even though it was just a man bun. Dave was almost falling off the iron chair he was seated on and from her view, it was obvious he hadn’t really had much of a clean wash. But he undoubtedly still looked good.

As she wondered how long she had been out, Ashley managed to help herself up, but in the process she ended up causing a huge pain in her head, she just had to groan and that woke Dave up from his slumber which was already changing its location to the hospital’s cold floor.

“Ashley… You are finally awake.” He kicked the chair aside as he quickly found a space beside her, his fine face inspecting hers carefully.

“For how long was I out?”

“About two days.”

“Is my baby fine?” She did not let that question get cold at all.
Dave did not give a response at first. “Dave…”

His eyes which had earlier left hers landed back with weariness all over his face. “Ashley…”

“Is our baby fine, Dave?” Ashley put the question differently in case the fact that she has a baby in her was still a surprise to him. “Can you please give me an answer?”

Shaking his head dejectedly didn’t sit right with Ashley.
“Ashley… the doctor…”

“Why are you being like this?” Ashley was almost laughing at his reluctance and the same time, she was approaching tears because of the magnitude of his silence. “Will you please tell me what the doctor said?”

He sighed.
“I am so sorry…”

“What happened to my baby? Don’t… Can you just talk?”

“The baby didn’t survive the fall.”

Without blinking an eye, Ashley slipped off the pillow supporting her.
Within that instant she felt really empty. A blank mind was all she had. She had no idea how to process what Dave just told her.

Absolutely no idea.
Slipping off even further into the sheets that smelt rather homely, Ashley suddenly let out a small cry. She tried to keep it in, but it just could not be helped.

And… that was all she could do at that moment. Cry.

“I’ll leave now…” Dave whispered to the figure that had her back to him. Ashley didn’t turn to face him, she just stayed muddled into the sheets, her hand over her mouth to keep her tears in as though they were a taboo not meant to be seen.

~
So much for sweet dreams.
Ashley almost scoffed as she thought about the one second moment of happiness she had before she woke up to the news that ruined it all.

It was funny though, it was like life was playing games with her. Games that made her crumble with nothing but devastation. So, her life was sad yet funny.

Taking a look across the room for the first time, Ashley noticed how dark it looked and she was about to get off the bed and have the window blinds up when Dave entered quietly the room.

“You look like you haven’t had that much of a good sleep.”

“Well, it seems like you have been crying a lot.” Ashley gave him a soft smile as he approached her.
“Asking if you are fine will be absolutely a stupid question.”

Ashley sighed and sat back on the bed. Looking down at the floor, she said, “I know you have a lot of questions.”

“Will you answer them?”

“I think I can.”

Dave swept off a strand of hair that sat on his forehead. “Are you sure?”
Ashley drew her breath in before nodding. She had really missed that look of concern that always drew across his face whenever he asked her a serious question. “Why didn’t you tell me about your pregnancy?”

“I just didn’t want to.”

“Ashley…”

Ashley pushed even further. “Why would I bother myself with such? You clearly have a life already. A life I had no idea of.”

“I…”

“Do you know how much I hurt to hear that you are married? For the first time after my divorce, I was feeling different, I felt happy. But you just had to be separated from your wife with whom you have a son. Trust me Dave, I can be many things, but I am not a home wrecker.”

“You definitely are not. Since there is no home to wreck. True, I have a son and an almost crashed marriage, but that is all it is. That chapter of my life closed way before I met you.
And… meeting you…” Dave gave a huge smile that lit up his face.
“It is the best thing that has happened to me after a long while. And I wouldn’t do anything to ruin that.”

“You…”

“I am not just attracted to you Ashley, I have myself falling in love with every part of you. Do you know why I offered to help you out of your misery? It saddened my heart without thinking twice by just seeing those beautiful eyes of yours crying for help. I instantly wanted to help. I wanted to be with you without thinking. I know I sound unbelievable, I know it too. But it is the truth.”

“Dave…” Ashley was finally having the confirmation of his feeling for her and it felt so good to hear it.

“So, Ashley, please, don’t kick me out of your life. I want to continue to be part of it.”

“I don’t know if I can do that.” Dave shifted forward, a small frown on his face. “I don’t know if I want that. Life has become so scary, I just want to be alone.”

“But that is dangerous. This is really not the time to be…”

“Alone. I know.” She finally looked up at him. “The thing is I don’t know what I want right now. I don’t know what next to do.”

“I can help you find that out. We can go away from here to somewhere else, somewhere different. Just stick with me, okay?”

Ashley sighed again and drew the sheets closer to her chest. “I will think about it.”

“Okay. I will leave you to your thoughts.” Ashley gave him a small smile as he reached for her forehead and planted a warm kiss on it.

As soon as he left, she laid down and stared into the poorly lit room.

She lied earlier.

She wasn’t going to think about it. Not because she didn’t want to, but lately was just an empty slate not willing to be filled with knowledge.

Actually, she was too scared to think.

But Dave’s word seemed to change something about that. The fact that her love for him was reciprocated made her sad, mourning heart jump quietly.
So, maybe, just maybe, she could consider Dave’s suggestion.

Anyhow it was going to play out, Ashley felt hope within her and that feeling was what drove her to sleep as she stared at the table beside her that had a stuffed bear seated on it.

And that was her best sleep since her baby left her.