THIRTY FIVE

"Why is this door open?"
Ashley listened quietly as the pondering being moved closer to where she lay. She wanted to get up, but she was too tired- mentally and physically - to do that.

"Did someone break in?" She could hear the faint noise the carpet made whenever someone thudded over its softness.
"Whoever you are, you had better come out. I have a weapon that would crack your head open." The threatening voice actually faltered a bit and that amused Ashley.

Wondering what possible *weapon* she could be wielding, Ashley figured it might be Tamara, the company's recent recruit.
Personally, Ashley admired her forwardness though it made her seem silly and uncool sometimes.

Deciding it was time to get up and save the curious woman the trouble of racking her head and reaching for weapons, Ashley, with the support from the arm of her fine looking chair, got up startling Tamara who had just reached for the switch.

"Oh my God! Oh you scared me!" Moving forward with her hand clutched over her chest, a look of worry graced her face.
"Boss, why... Why are you...?" She swept her bangs to the side and looked behind the desk where Ashley had transformed to a mini-room.
"Is everything okay?"

"Is everything okay...?" Ashley repeated to herself as she sat on the chair. "Tamara, is anything ever okay in this world?"

"Uh...." Tamara obviously didn't know what to make of the scene she had just walked in to. "What really happened boss?"

"This place..." Ashley placed her hand on her chest area. "It hurts a lot."

"What happened?" Her small round face wore a concerned, a worried look that made her eyes pop out in a pretty way.

Ashley wondered whether to tell her her pitiful story. Her love story which was cut short. Love story?
Ashley could have scoffed if not for the heaviness tying down words into her throat.
"I really don't want to hurt, but I do a lot. This is like my divorce all over again. But this time, the pain is different. It is crazier, it is making me want to run back into his arms but I can't."

"Is it that man you came with the other time?" Ashley nodded. "Did he cheat on you like your ex-husband did? That bastard..." she fisted her hand and made her mouth smear-like. It seemed like she was ready to bust the balls of the person that hurt her.

Ashley found her reaction very amusing.
Thinking about her question, if Dave had cheated on her, it would have been better. That way, she would know it is really over. But... the situation was way complicated.

"He is married. I just found that out. He even has a kid. You know..." She leaned into the chair slowly. "That is not the thing that hurts so much. The fact that I can't have him, that I can't be with him anymore hurts so much."

"Wow. What did he say about this?"

"He didn't want me to leave.That even saddened me even more."

Tamara gave a loud sigh and also sat back into the chair. "Wow. That's... wow. But... boss, why are you here?"

"I could not go to my house because he could look for me there and I don't really fancy motels, so... I came here. Besides this place is familiar and warm, so I don't feel so lonely being here."

"What are you going to do about your man? He is definitely going to come looking for you at some point."

*Her man*. If only she could still call him that. She never actually got to call him anything. She never got to tell him how she saw him, how he made her feel.

Gosh, she never told him how she loved his goofiness that made her smile without thinking twice.

"Okay..." Tamara continued when she sensed her hesitation. "How about this? You can stay at my place for the time being. I don't mind. Infact, I will be in charge of making you feel better. I might even set you up on a blind date."

Ashley chuckled softly, "A blind date? So soon? I am still sad and all."

"Oh, don't get the wrong idea. You are not going on a blind date to move on or anything. You are going to use the date as a gauge to determine how much you love this man of yours."

"That would just make me burst into tears or something. And that will be like a very embarrassing thing to happen."

"Who cares if it is embarrassing or not. All that matters now is your emotions and how you want them to drive you. After the date, you can decide whether or not your man is someone you want to leave so easily. Or... If you want to fight for him some more."

"But he is married... well... separated to put it better."

"So? Are you going to deprive yourself something good because he is separated from his wife?" Tamara waved her hand as though to erase what she had just said.
"Okay... scratch what I just said. You said he didn't want you to leave right? Maybe, just maybe he really wants to be with you. If he says it is really over between him and his wife and that he really wants you, will you not take that chance to be with him?"


"Uh... Maybe?"

"This is why the date is a good idea. It would help you find your bearing concerning this issue. And trust me boss, the man I will be setting you up with is quite a charmer, so brace yourself."

Ashley chuckled at her dramatic display. "I guess I need the distraction."

Tamara made a fist and celebrated her small victory. Getting up suddenly she said, "It's getting late. We should get going now."

"Yeah. Could you help me with those documents? I need to really start doing my job."

"Sure." Tamara reached for the heap with a heart warming smile that made Ashley appreciate her even more.

~

"I can't do this..." Ashley turned before they could even get to the entrance of the restaurant.

"Come on Boss, you already promised." It actually took a lot of bribe to get Ashley to come out. Most of the time, she had her head buried in work or some weird magazine about socks collections.

"Ughh... Okay. Let's do this."

"Yay! So his name is..."

"Is that him over there?" Ashley peered through a glass to study the groomed man who sat busy with his phone.

"Yes. You can see he looks good right?"

"Pfft..." Ashley scoffed. "Dave looks way better. Even his hair looks..."
The smug look on Tamara's face stopped her unhidden comparison of the two men. Standing properly, her throat clearing, Ashley made for the entrance.
"I should..."

"Yes. Kevin is waiting for you."

"His name is Kevin?"
*How crazy*, she thought.

"Yes."

Ashley said nothing after and went in. It would be discriminating of her to judge the fine man waiting for her based on her ex-husband actions.
"Good evening."

"Oh, you are..." she surprisingly felt warm. It was probably the place. It's set up resembled an ordinary kitchen at home just that the dining area in this case was bigger and a little classy.

Taken aback by his sudden pause as he watched her approach, she asked, "Are you fine?"

"No... I mean yes. I mean, yes I am."

Ashley could not help but smile at his cuteness that contradicted his mature look. His cuteness reminded her of-
"I am so sorry for keeping you waiting. I can be kind of slow."

"No, no. It is fine. Have your seat please," he offered, a strand of his starched hair falling off onto his temple.

As Ashley grabbed the seat's head, she felt a nauseous wave within her. Her hands on her lips, she wondered if she could be reacting to something.

"Are you okay?" Dave would have probably made a joke at that point or maybe he would have teased her.

She sighed. It would really be difficult to get Dave out of her head for that night. As she made to sit down, the feeling from earlier came again, this time, stronger.

It was so strong, her legs gave in and her struggling eyes followed causing her date to go into a state of confusion.

~

"Oh good you are awake." Ashley eyed the blue clothed man beside her as she opened her eyes fully.

"What happened?"

"You had a little breakdown. You must have felt dizzy and gave in totally. Tamara told me you have not be eating so much these days. You can't do that with a baby inside you. I guess you didn't have..."

Ashley could have jumped up, "What do you mean by baby?"

The tall, lanky man adjusted his glasses as he peered at her curiously. "You don't know?"

"Know what?"

"You are four weeks pregnant."