SEVENTEEN

She could not contain the happiness coursing through her.

Ashley still didn’t exactly know what ran through her head when she asked him to take her, but she had to give it to herself. She actually knew what was good for her.

After their amazing time in each other’s arms, Ashley had gone to shower and throughout, all she could think about was Dave and how good he made her feel in and out.

She didn’t even have nightmares when they had finally gone to sleep. Physically, she felt safe in his arms. And mentally, well… she was just so happy, some scary dream about her burning house didn’t bother to show up.

Getting off the tousled bed which managed to reek of Dave, Ashley wondered where Dave was. Walking to the window side, she peeked through the thin, black and white curtain, at the view outside.

The beach sure was a sight to wake up to. With the sea looking blue from afar and peaceful, Ashley made it a thing of importance to have some fun on the beach before they left.

Grabbing the closest shirt around, which happened to be Dave’s, Ashley took off her tank top and put the grey shirt on. Looking down at her chest, she noticed how perky the sisters were and that just brought a smile to Ashley’s face.

Her smile increased when she remembered how Dave treated them the previous night. The thought of it happening again made Ashley’s insides over joyous.

Walking out through the open blue painted door after a quick freshening up, Ashley just had to admit again, Dave was changing her. When did she ever feel so happy just because of a man’s touch and words?

Recalling her previous relationships, she figured out that, while she put up a strong front to make herself invulnerable to somethings, she denied herself pleasure. Or maybe the men she was with just didn’t know how to properly pleasure a woman.

Point was, Ashley had never felt so elevated with any other man. Not even Kevin who she thought made her feel good while he was still interested in her.

Finding her way into the kitchen, she was greeted by an arousing sight. Seeing Dave, half naked with ruffled hair, cooking behind the counter turned her on and if she was not careful, the little fantasy she just had in her head would come to pass.

Whatever he was cooking would just be the sacrifice.

“I like the sight I have woken up to.”

The man who was looking all serious before broke into a smirk, his eyes raking her from head to toe. “The sight in front of me looks better.”

Unfolding her arms, she walked towards him and climbed on the stool opposite him. Her knees resting on the wooden surface, she leaned forward to see what he was making. “Hm. Pancakes.”

“Someone is exceptionally happy this morning.”

Ashley blushed. Tilting her head up, her hands against the end of the marbled counter for support, she moved to give him a quick kiss on the side of his mouth. “I actually like this feeling of happiness, it has been a while I felt this way.”

“I am glad.” He turned off the cooker and set the pan aside, grabbing plates from a nearby rack. Instead of letting him dish the meal, Ashley got hungry for him, so she leaned even forward, grabbed him by the neck and turned him to feel more of his lips on hers.

His response was triggering. While minding the heat around the cooker, he took over.

It was like bliss all over again, the way he explored slowly and carefully, making sure to nibble or bite softly at certain intervals causing her to moan. When he finally away, Ashley felt a loss and she dragged him closer but he stopped her.

“Okay, greedy, that is enough. We actually have to continue with our sessions. I have reasons to believe not much came from the two or three sessions we have already had.”

“You know, I still find the term *fixing*, a very weird one.”

“Don’t change the topic Ashley.” Dave resumed dishing their breakfast. “I am under pressure here to make sure you don’t slide into your heartbreaking sadness again.”

“I am under pressure too.” Ashley tilted her shoulder seductively as her lips twitched. “I am under pressure here because I am trying so hard not to jump on you and have you take me again.”

*‘Damn! Even the way I talk has changed,*’ she thought.

Dave ignored what she said and continued, “If there is an emotion in this life that can prove dangerous and destructive, it is sadness. And I like you too much already to dump you into it.” Ashley pouted as she collected her plate from him. She knew he wouldn’t let her work a way out of his sessions.

Moments later, they were both seated on the carpeted floor of the living room, resting side by side after a good breakfast.

“So, let’s talk Ashley.”

“I am all ears.”

“I noticed how much your house getting burned down affected you and I just have to wonder and ask; is this the first time something terrible is happening to you?”

Sighing, her thoughts traveling into the past, Ashley replied him quietly, “Honestly, no. The time my dad died was very awful for me. But I did not crack like I am doing now. After crying for the first two days, I… I just put myself together immediately because my mother was in a more terrible state.”

“You took care of her.” Dave squeezed her hand which he had earlier grabbed.

“I had no choice. It was just the both of us, no one else. Ever since that time, I always had it right in life. I got what I needed with no stress. My college days were more awesome than my high school years since I schooled at a Fashion Academy. And boy, was I a topper.”

Ashley chuckled as she took a minute to relive the good times. Her honey brown coloured orbs sweeping across the plastered ceiling, she continued, “Life really was easy. When I set out to have my own business, the whole process went without any issue. Next thing I knew, I was getting married to a man I loved. At least I thought I loved him.

Everything just changed when I caught him in bed with another woman. I surprised myself by crashing down at my door with tears when what my strong self would have done was walked out with pride or something.”
Tears forming at the side of her eyes, she turned to face Dave whose attentive eyes didn’t stop watching her.

“I just cried. The whole scenario kept playing in my head throughout that night to the point that it deprived me of my sleep. Few days later when Kevin came with a divorce letter, I lost it. I became so angry at myself, at him, at everyone. After signing the stupid paper, this heaviness fell on me and I just…

… I just, lost myself. I became weak and helpless. I hated it, but I couldn’t help the feeling. Becoming a shadow in my own house killed me slowly to my knowing, but I still stayed in that murdering position without trying to help myself.”

“Come here, you.” Dave quietly said as she burst into a loud sob. Clutching away at his back, Ashley suddenly realized how much of damage she had been causing herself by being in such a dark place for too long. She could suddenly relate to Dave’s fear. She could have fallen deep into depression. Her life would have made no more sense to her anymore and… most probably something terrible could have happened to her.

Sniffing as her tearing died down, she pulled away from his strong embrace and gave him a small smile, her eyes suddenly feeling tired.

“It is so terrible that you had to go through such a period alone,” Dave started, his hand reaching out to caress hers. “Honestly speaking, I think your reaction to your house getting burnt is not just because something bad was happening again. You were scared to lose another thing dear to you.

But you really need to understand that what matters the most at the end of the day, is you. You should try to live your life in a way that will assure that you don’t end up losing yourself.”

“I…”

Placing a finger on his lips, he cut her short. “At this stage, you have you and you only. Okay, you have me too, but the main focus here is you. Kevin, your mother, the people that hurt you, they don’t matter at all. Ashley, even though it is not as easy as it sounds, you have to learn to let go of the past first in order to find a focus on you.
Even though it is a gradual process that might never end because one way or the other, the past finds a way to come back, dealing with our haunting past to gradually get it off our backs helps a lot in our growth as humans.”

Ashley cringed as her head replayed Kevin and her mother over and over as Dave talked. She would give anything to get the painful scene out of her head, no kidding. And, Dave’s little talk about letting of the past sounded like a good plan despite being a difficult one. “I actually want to focus on me. A better version of me sounds good.”

Dave returned her expanding smile. “Good. That brings me back to a question I have always wanted to ask you.”

“Yeah?” She asked, lips tucked in.

Adjusting his position to face her fully, his elbow perching on the couch, Dave brushed her hair to the back and asked, “What makes you happy, Ashley Steve?” Taken aback by the question as it was one she had never been asked nor thought of. But Dave was not in a hurry to get an answer. “Just think about the question Ashley and give me an answer when you can.”

“Okay.” His question was a huge bother.

“Don’t be so gloomy now Ashley Steve, let’s do something fun.”

Ashley hugged herself as she thought about everything Dave had just told her altogether and realized she needed a while to reason about her life. Having fun at that moment didn’t sound right. “I just want you to hold me, Dave.”

“Gladly.” The built man opened his arms and Ashley went in, her arms instantly wrapping around his bare back, her face buried in his welcoming chest.

And they stayed like that for a while. Dave running his hand through her back soothingly, Ashley thinking and rethinking about her life, her eyes dropping tears onto Dave’s skin.