TWENTY SIX

Not too many things were running through Ashley’s mind at that moment. She was almost too numb to even think of what to do. As her eyes followed the figure of the remorse looking woman who she had last seen on her bed with her ex-husband, Ashley suddenly jolted to life.

She was coming her way. And it wasn’t going to be too long before her mother would be standing in front of her.

Ashley knew she had to decide what to do immediately. Recalling Dave’s advice, she wondered if it was the right time to talk to her mother.

If she had to go with the way she was feeling at that moment, it would be safer to walk away before her mother made it to where she was.

“Ashley…” *Or not*. Another option was to ignore her and walk away, surely she would get the message.

But somewhere deep in Ashley’s heart, she wanted to hear her mother out. She wanted to know why she did what she did. Maybe somehow, that would help get rid of the heaviness lurking inside her.

“Ashley…” the young looking woman took another step forward after carefully putting her basket on the ground.

There was something in her voice that made Ashley crack inside. Suddenly, balls of tears she never thought she would shed anymore got stuck in her throat. “M… m… mom…”
Ashley spilled the words quietly with her voice quivering. It was there the tears began to sting her eyes. And the pain stung her heart all over again.

Adjusting her floral gown which fitted her like a glove making her look pretty as she usually was, Francine took in a deep breath before saying, “I know you don’t want to see me. But it has been so long and I have been aching to explain things. I…”
She didn’t say anything more when she saw the look on Ashley’s face.

Lips slightly parted, Ashley wondered what to say. If it were a time before she met Dave, she would have gone on a screaming spree. Like a mad person, she would have personally chased her out of the supermarket. She was that angry.

She was *still* angry. But this time, Ashley was sort of willing to accommodate the woman. Ashley perceived she really wanted to feel genuine happiness and since she was seeing an opportunity to clear the fussiness within, it would be best to grasp it. She might not be exactly willing to walk her way to her mother’s doorstep anytime soon if she did not talk to her there and then.

Francine took even a step closer, her scent began to penetrate Ashley’s nostrils. “Just say the word, Ashley. I won’t feel bad if you chase me away, I deserve it. I really do…” Francine wanted to reach for Ashley’s hands, but she stopped her hands mid air.
After letting out a shaky breath, she continued,
“I want you to know that… Ashley I am so… Please say something.”

It was not going to be easy as Dave had painted it to be. Talking to her was hard enough not to talk of forgiving her. Still not giving a response, Ashley stared on at her distraught mother whose eyes kept begging.

Francine hands began to shake slightly as it seemed to dawn on her that she was not going to get a response from Ashley. “It is fine…”
Her stance became relentless, her eyes began to dart here and there. “I get it. I would not talk to me too. What I did was very terrible. I should give you your space.”
She let out a nervous chuckle as she swept her bangs to the side.
“What was I thinking? Showing up like this is so stupid… I should go.”

Ashley’s swallowed the tears that wanted to fall as she saw the ones in her mother’s eyes. That pierced her in a way. So, reluctantly, she weakly called to her mother whose back was already facing her. “Wait…”
Francine quickly turned. “Let’s…let’s talk.”

~

“This is weird for me.” Ashley pointed out a bit dryly as the silence was becoming quite annoying.

“I just don’t know where to start.”

Ashley, who had gotten her confidence back after a relaxing drink, said a bit rashly, “How about you tell me how you managed to get Kevin within your grasp? Or you can just skip to the part where it was okay for you to sleep with him on my own bed.”

Francine sighed. “I will explain everything. I really have to.”
Ashley sat back into the chair, her eyes scoping the décor of the little shop they had stumbled on as her heart, for some reason began to pound to her annoyance. “ Oh God where do I start? Ashley… I know, what I did was very foolish and stupid and…”

“Wicked?”

Francine nodded sadly. “Yes. My loneliness made me do something so selfish. It all started on a certain day. Kevin had come over to take something you had asked him to get. When he was about leaving, he came to say goodbye to me in the kitchen where I was cooking. But instead of him to leave, he moved closer to me with this look of admiration in his eyes.”

Ashley was picturing it all in her head. Francine continued, “I fought out of his grasp and told him to stop. It was wrong, I had told him, but he did not budge. Next thing I knew, he kissed me and something… something just cracked inside me.
It had been a while since a man showed me love. I know this makes me sound like a terrible person, but for a minute, I forgot he was your husband and I found myself falling.”

Ashley felt disgust towards Kevin. “But I immediately chastised myself because he was your husband Little did I know that that kiss was going to lead to something I had been aching for silently.”

“You guys had been together for some while…” The fact that Kevin had been cheating all the while angered her even more. And her mother…

“Yes. But not right away. For three months Ashley, I ignored Kevin because he kept pestering me to be with him. I kept telling him that I couldn’t, he was married to you. He… he kept saying he would divorce you to be with me. It angered me that he thought that way, in a way that could hurt you and it angered me even more that I was caught in that kind of situation.”

“Why didn’t you say anything? If you really did not want to hurt me, you could have told me…”

“I became selfish.” Francine shook her head dejectedly. “I discovered that even though I kept telling Kevin off, his persistence was building up emotions inside me. Emotions that I had been yearning to feel. They felt so real and amazing. When Kevin came again to persist, I lost it and just… I gave in.”

“Hmm…” Biting the insides of her mouth, Ashley began to wonder why she married Kevin in the first place. That guy just turned out to be an absolute jerk, juggling a relationship between a mother and her daughter.

The fucking nerve of the bastard!

To think that Ashley did not even once suspect him.

“Remember I used to tell you that the heart of man is wicked and holds dangerous thoughts? My heart became wicked towards you Ashley. When Kevin and I began to see each other, I became so blinded by the romance, I forgot that I was hurting you. I didn’t get to my senses until that day…”

“The day I saw you two together…”

“My whole world came crashing when you saw us. My entire senses reeked of guilt and hurt and… when I saw you slide down the wall in tears, I felt like dying because I knew that I had done much worse than hurt you.” Francine raised her head to look into Ashley’s eyes.

On seeing her red, swollen eyes, Ashley realized that seated in front of her was a widow who was just in search of love. But she had found it in the most absurd place. She had found it in a place that guaranteed people getting hurt.
“Do you really love Kevin?” Her lips tucked in, Francine gave a short nod. Ashley took in a deep breath. She really did not know that to classify her feeling as. She felt sad, yet she felt free. She wasn’t exactly feeling happy, but it seemed as though any seconds from that moment, she could start dancing in the middle of the street like she had just won a lottery.

It was really strange.

Emotions are *really* strange. Ashley’s mind quickly flashed to Dave and she wondered what he would tell her to do at that moment. “Sincerely…” Ashley started.
“You really hurt me mom. Seeing you in bed with Kevin really broke my heart.” Ashley rolled up the sleeves of her jacket.
“I am not going to bore you with stories of how I was in a bad place. I just want you to know that I don’t really care anymore if you decide to be with Kevin. I am past feeling bad for myself.”

“Ash…” she interrupted her mother with a finger.

Ashley was surprised at the words that she was about to say, “It is sadly true that Kevin is not the man meant for me. It took two years and him cheating on me for me to realize that.” She gave a short smile.
“It is crazy, but whatever happened is for the best. It made me go through a very rough patch and as a result, I am becoming a better person as days goes by. I am happier than before, I see things differently now. I am no longer the angry, kind of conceited Ashley I used to be. I don’t bottle up like in the past. So, in a way, I owe you my thanks mom.”

“I…”

“I can’t say if I will be able to forgive you as I am still a bit hurt with everything that has happened. But I will try.”

“Ashley…”

“I really wish you the best with Kevin. I hope he really loves you and doesn’t hurt you because you don’t deserve it to be hurt at all.” She abruptly got up.

“You are leaving… don’t…”

“It was nice seeing you again mother. I just want you to be careful with Kevin so that he would not burn you like he did to me. Goodbye mom.”

“Ashley wait… let’s…” Ashley felt a bit bad for leaving her that way, but she was already feeling her stay there was becoming unnecessarily long for someone who was yet to fully heal from her wounds.

On getting into Dave’s car, Ashley let out a huge sigh. She actually felt good, she felt lighter inside. Ashley figured that she might have let go, part of her grudge during her stay with Dave. That would explain the ease with which she replied her mother.

Ashley felt proud of herself. She felt happy. And she couldn’t wait to tell Dave all about it.

~

Grabbing two filled nylons of groceries from the back of the car, Ashley made her way into the trailer, her mind wondering what Dave was up to. As she managed to pull the door open, she hoped Dave had left her some pizza because she was actually a bit hungry.

With a new glow on her face, she entered, her line of sight approaching the living room. “Dave, I am…”
She dropped what she was carrying abruptly, her eyes widened with shock at the sight of Dave and Emily kissing.