Chapter 64. Grief

**64. Grief**
***Rafael's POV:***
"What!" To be honest, I was stunned, but not shocked. What else could I expect from someone who attempted to kill his own son? But this completely shocked me.
I had always recognized the differences of opinion between myself and my father, attributing them to his insatiable desire for power and his readiness to go to any lengths to secure his position. But killing his own mate was beyond my understanding.
How could he? no matter how much he hated her Maybe they had their differences; maybe there was some circumstance, but whatever it was, how could he kill her with his own hands or with someone else's? How could he be so callous? Did he not feel any guilt while doing so? Why did he even say he loved my mother when he clearly didn't?
"Why? What was my mother's fault? What did she do to him? Did he even care for her?" I asked, unable to hold back my emotions. My mother's death was the most painful topic for me, and I avoided talking about it at all costs.
My mother was the sweetest woman who loved this man unreservedly and even made me promise not to kill him. It was all coming together. She took that promise from me in her final moments because she knew I'd find out and she believed it was appropriate. My mind was urging me to do one thing at this time, and that was to go out and find Elliot and take my revenge on him.
"It was your mother's fault she got mated to a beast like him." Cindy moaned and took my hands in hers. Our eyes were all flooded with tears. I'm relieved Eva isn't here; she wouldn't be able to handle it.
"Did you know it from the start?" I asked, my voice cracking in the middle.
"No, I found out only after you informed me about your father's attack on you. I had recently learned of Fiona's death, and like everyone else, I was devastated. I didn't think about the causes of her death, but I know your father blamed witches, mainly me, for it," Cindy recounted, pausing to ponder each event.
"How did you find out?  I mean, I had an idea my father just blamed witches, but I had no idea he was referring to you." I voiced my concern.
"Come on, Rafael, think about it. Who else would want me to avoid them? It wasn't directed at all witches, but specifically at me. Your father knew that if I discovered what killed Fiona, I wouldn't stop until I avenged her death. He arranged everything to keep me away from you, but as your mother always said, fate has its own way, and the truth can't be disguised for long," she exhaled a sigh.
Yes, now that I am thinking about it My father exiled all the other witches and blamed them so that no one could question him. And, as Cindy said, she was the person closest to my mother, so Elliot knew that if anybody could assist me, it would be Cindy. So he arranged everything to keep me away from Cindy, but just one thing bothers me.
"Why?" I asked frantically. "Why did he kill her?" 
"I'm not sure whether you're ready to hear it, Rafael." Cindy sighed, and tears streamed freely from my eyes.
"Please," I begged, unsure if I was ready but realizing I had to face it sooner or later, and I've begun to feel that whatever happens, it's best if it happens soon.
Astrid turned toward me, gazing into my eyes and cupping my cheeks. "Are you sure, love?" Astrid asked, and I closed my eyes, causing tear droplets to fall into Astrid's palms. I nodded my head. Astrid looked to Cindy and motioned for her to continue, which she did.
"Though I can't say for certain, your father Rafael may have had an idea of either of your gifts or Azael. He envied and feared you from the start. Fiona once mentioned Elliot's fear of you. I even asked what it was. Then your mother and I speculated that he could have known about Azael. I'd also like to stress that your father had no knowledge about Azael. It was your grandfather's (your mother's father's) decision to conceal your identity from your own father, and he didn't know about the existence of demons. That was the only thing he requested of your mother while she was adamant about getting married to Elliot. Because we used to reside in the same palace, my mother informed me about it. After the war, I and Fiona were the only people who knew you were a demon. What I doubt is that your father had a clue about it before the war. He messed up with her mind and made her promise that you would not kill him, and Fiona assumed he was stating it in the ordinary sense, and she agreed," Cindy explained.
"Why kill her if she could have managed both me and my father? She fulfilled all his requests. Why kill her?" I asked, my head throbbing with turmoil.
"Fiona made a pact with Elliot to give you the throne when the time was perfect. She knew he was greedy for power, but Elliot Elliot knew that if Fiona stayed alive, she would do anything to give him what belonged to Rafael, so he had to clear the path for himself." Cindy wept.
A gust of cold air hit me in the face. I wasn't in my right mind. Was I to blame for my mother's death? My claws protruded from my clenched fist, piercing my palm.
Astrid tried to make sense of my situation. "Rafael, you cannot blame yourself for all of this. Your father did everything for power; his greed made him do it."
With much effort, I managed to respond, "Greed cannot be the sole reason, right? I would have given him the throne if he had asked. My mother's life is far more important to me. For my mother, I would have given up many thrones." Every syllable that exited my mouth pricked me like a thorn. Why am I responsible for everything that happens to everyone close to my heart?
Rafael the reason is well-known to us, and there is one more reason for everything. Fiona was never loved by your father. He was constantly involved with other women, younger or older; it made no difference; he cheated on your mother behind her back, even before you were born. She didn't tell anyone, not even me, about it. I only recently realized this when I looked into your thoughts. She even didn't tell her parents. When you and Eva were born, she went through everything for your sake, both fearing that confronting him or leaving him would impact your future, so she stayed silent. She was alone, and she had to deal with everything on her own. Elliot used to mistreat and even beat Fiona, but she kept it all hidden from the rest of the world, behaving like the actual queen she was. That's why she always trained you to be compassionate and to love your partner as she deserved, and I believe she was successful in her efforts." She gave me and Astrid a sour grin. Her eyes flooded her face, drenched in sweat and tears.
"It grew worse when your father refused to grant you your throne even though you were a hundred years old.  did you know that a king should pass on their throne to their heir when they are a century old? " Cindy asked.
"No, he lied to me about the age and also about the lie that I should only ascend the kingdom after I find my mate." I replied.
"Yes, it makes him want to postpone handing you your throne for as long as possible, so I was saying that even when you reached that age, your father wasn't ready to give you your throne. For ages, your mother clung to the hope that Elliot would change, but that day never came.  Her faith was dwindling, so she resolved to confront him. Fiona believed that even if Elliot abandoned both of you, you could still make a living out of your talent and that you were a lot more successful at the time, so she confronted him. They had an argument, and Fiona threatened to expatriate him and come to me to do you justice, but your father killed her before that could happen." She gasped at her sobbing as she realized what had happened.
Cindy said after a brief pause, "Everything is my fault because I left your kingdom after you and Eva were born. I wanted to explore my life and discover its various facets. I'm sorry I did that. At the very least, if I were with her, she would have someone to talk to and someone to share her pain with. It had only been some days—one day—that I learned of Fiona's death from someone else, and she had also stated that you would come to find me eventually. We used to meet in the middle. That's when she told them about the spell she used to seal everything in the letter. When I questioned why we should do it, she shrugged and said she didn't want the letter to end up in the wrong hands. Later, I learned that your father held the whole witch community responsible for Fiona's death. I hope everything is clear now. He knew I'd come after him if I found out about Fiona or the cause. I'm sorry I didn't return sooner. I'm sorry I wasn't there for her. I regret that if I had been with Fiona, I would not have allowed this to happen."  She wailed again, her eyes swollen and red from sobbing.
If I had seen longing for my mother in someone else's eyes except for me and Eva, it had to be Cindy. Even my father had never considered her, and now it all makes perfect sense to me why.
I hugged Cindy. "It's not your fault, Cindy; you had no idea things would end out this way. If you continue in this manner, let me point out that I am more to blame than you because my mother put her life in danger every time so that I can take the throne." I sobbed.
We had our time where I wept my heart out after so many days, and my little dove was by my side supporting me, giving me a shoulder to cry on, and bringing me back to reality when I was blaming myself for everything. What would I have done if she hadn't been by my side? She is more than I could have asked for. I resolved to myself that I would track him down from his hiding place and kill Elliot with my own hands.
The charm that mom gave me and Eva that had her blood encapsulated in it—at first, I thought she gave it to us so we could have an essence of her with us, but she gave it to us so we could kill our father.
We are now in the process of connecting Elliot and Astrid's second mate. I believe it is our responsibility to find out about him and assist anybody in his family who is in need, or at the very least to know the circumstances so that he may be brought to justice.
"Close your eyes now, and Astrid, please continue to ponder the moment in which you witnessed your ex-mate's death. I'd need clear pictures to develop any sort of relationship, and you, Rafael, keep thinking about Elliot, good or bad; it doesn't matter, but it'd be more useful if you could focus on the event where you saw Astrid's ex-mate. Things can get bad, but you don't open your eyes or turn off your focus. You may also feel as though disaster is approaching us, but it is just my magic, okay?" Cindy had forewarned us about everything.
We closed our eyes and nodded. Three of us got our hands connected, and as previously indicated, Cindy began chanting her spells, and we soon felt the vibrations and tremors of the ground underneath us, but I continued thinking of Elliot. At one point, I was going to let go of Cindy's hand because the beeping sound reverberating within my head was becoming too much for me to bear, but Cindy and Astrid both gripped my hand tightly.
"Open your eyes, guys," Cindy said.
We complied, and her face was drenched in sweat.
"What did you see?" Astrid was the one to ask.

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