Chapter One Hundred And Five

Chapter 105

The soft glow of moonlight spilled through the windows of Jemima's bedroom, casting silvery patterns on the floor. She sat cross-legged on the bed, the cool night air brushing against her skin. Across the room, Jay leaned against the doorframe, his arms crossed as he studied her.

"You've been quiet since dinner," he said softly, his deep voice carrying a warmth that always seemed to anchor her.

Jemima looked up from the blanket she'd been absently twisting in her hands. "Just... thinking."

Jay stepped into the room, closing the door behind him. He crossed the space between them and sat on the edge of the bed, his presence steady and grounding. "Thinking about what?"

She hesitated, her gaze flicking to the window. "About everything. Coming back here, facing my family, facing... myself. It's a lot to process."

Jay reached out, his fingers brushing against hers. The touch was light, tentative as if he were testing the boundaries of their fragile connection. "You don't have to go through it alone, Jem. You know that, right?"

She looked down at their hands, the warmth of his skin against hers a reminder of the countless times he'd been there for her. "I know. It doesn’t mean I can’t think about it once in a while right?”

Jay nodded, “Just making sure to remind you, in case you forgot.”

Jemima sighed, her expression softening as she gazed into Jay’s eyes. “How do you do it, Jay?”

“Do what?” Jay asked genuinely puzzled by her question.

“You have demons of your own, I know that Jay yet you’ve always been there for me, Jay. Even when I didn't deserve it."

His brows furrowed, a flicker of frustration crossing his face. "Don't say that. You've always deserved love and support. You just... didn't see it back then."

Jemima swallowed hard, her throat tight with emotion. "It's hard to believe sometimes. That someone could still care about me after everything, could still love me even as broken as I am, and look beyond my flaws.”

“Like I told you before, I do not have a reason. It’s not because I know you’d do the same for me, it’s not because I want you to love me back. It’s because I can and I do love you Jem. Even if you’re battered and bruised into a pulp, I’d still love you.” Jay confessed, causing Jemima to choke on a soft sob that escaped from her lip.

He walked to the bed and took her hand in his. He planted a soft kiss on the back of her hand and then on her forehead.

“I’m a mess, Jay. I’m not silent killer anymore. I’m just Jemima.”

Jay's hand tightened around hers, his gaze intense. "Everyone’s a mess Jem and you’re mine. Stronger than you give yourself credit for. And no matter what you've been through, you're still you. The woman I've always loved. Didn’t you used to say what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger?"

Jemima sniffed back unshed tears, “Well with everything that has happened I’ve come to realize that what doesn’t kill you leaves you battered and bruised, traumatizes you, and leaves your mental state shitty.”

“Okay think of it as wood glue…”

“Huh?”

“You know how a piece of new furniture is strong and sturdy and then by some accident it breaks? The wood glue comes in and mends it together. It doesn’t entirely make it brand new but it makes it stronger because it can’t break just as easily anymore and it’s evidence that we can withstand the test of time and be stronger after being broken than before,” Jay analyzed, brushing a stray strand of her hair and tucking in gently behind her ear.

Her breath hitched at his words, the weight of his gaze making her heart race. For a moment, the room was silent, the air between them thick with unspoken feelings.

"Jay..." she began, her voice barely above a whisper.

But before she could finish, he reached out, planting a soft kiss on her cheeks. The gesture was tender, and intimate, and it sent a shiver down her spine.

"You don't have to say anything," he said softly. "I just want you to know that I'm here. Always."

The vulnerability in his voice was almost too much for Jemima to bear. She felt the walls she'd built around her heart begin to crack, the weight of her emotions threatening to overwhelm her.

Without thinking, she leaned forward, resting her forehead against his. The warmth of his breath mingled with hers, and for a moment, the world seemed to fade away.

"Thank you," she whispered, her voice trembling.

Jay's hands cupped her face gently, his thumbs brushing against her cheeks. "You don't have to thank me, Jem. Just let me be here for you."

The intensity of the moment was almost too much. Jemima pulled back slightly, her heart pounding in her chest. "I'm scared, Jay. Scared of what this means. Of what I might ruin if I let myself feel... this."

Jay's gaze softened, his hands still cradling her face. "You don't have to be scared. We'll figure it out together. One step at a time."

For a long moment, they simply stared at each other, the unspoken tension between them thick and electric. Then, as if drawn by an invisible force, Jemima leaned in, her lips brushing against his.

The kiss was tentative at first, a gentle exploration of feelings too long suppressed. But as Jay's arms wrapped around her, pulling her closer, the kiss deepened, a surge of emotion breaking free.

Jemima's hands found their way to his shoulders, her fingers curling into the fabric of his shirt. She felt safe, and grounded, in a way she hadn't felt in years.

When they finally pulled apart, both of them were breathless, their foreheads resting against each other.

"I've wanted to do that for a long time. I’ve missed you so much Jem,” Jay admitted, a small smile tugging at his lips.

Jemima let out a shaky laugh, her cheeks flushed. "I’ve missed you too Jay."

Jay brushed a thumb over her cheek, his expression serious. "This doesn't have to change anything though. Take all the time you need and whenever you’re ready, I’ll be here."

Her heart swelled at his words, the sincerity in his voice wrapping around her like a warm embrace. "I don't want to wait, Jay. I've spent so much time running from my feelings, from my past. But with you... I feel like I can finally stop running."

Jay's smile widened, and he pressed a soft kiss to her forehead. "Then we'll take it one day at a time. Together."

With that, Jemima leaned in for another kiss while Jay held her close. The kiss was slow and sensual, allowing them to feel things that they hadn’t felt in a long time.

“I love you Jay,” Jemima whispered, afraid that if she said too loud she’d ruin the moment.
Jay smiled and with a little help, laid her gently against the bed where he peppered kisses from her lips to her nape.

Jemima closed her eyes, allowing herself to enjoy the bliss of the moment.

The days that followed were filled with quiet moments of connection. Jay and Jemima fell into an easy rhythm, their bond growing stronger with each passing day.

One evening, they found themselves in the garden, the air filled with the scent of blooming flowers. Jay had brought a blanket, and they sat side by side under the stars, their hands intertwined.

"Do you remember the first time we met?" Jay asked, his voice tinged with nostalgia.

Jemima laughed softly. "How could I forget? I tried to kill you."

Jay winced, a sheepish grin on his face. "I’ve never quite gotten over it"

She nudged him playfully. "Next time don’t miss your debriefing"

They both laughed, the sound light and carefree. For a moment, it felt like they were just two people enjoying each other's company, free from the weight of their pasts.

As the night wore on, Jemima found herself opening up to Jay in ways she never had before. She told him about her fears, her hopes, and the dreams she'd long since buried.

Jay listened intently, his hand never leaving hers. "You're stronger than you realize, Jem. And whatever the future holds, I'll be right here by your side."

Her chest tightened at his words, the sincerity in his voice making her believe that maybe, just maybe, she could have a future filled with love and happiness.

"Thank you, Jay," she said softly, leaning her head against his shoulder.

"For what?" he asked, his voice gentle.

"For believing in me. For never giving up on me."

Jay pressed a kiss to the top of her head, his arms wrapping around her. "I'll always believe in you, Jem. Always."

As they sat there under the stars, Jemima felt a sense of peace she hadn't known in years. For the first time in a long time, she allowed herself to hope—for love, for happiness, for a future with Jay by her side.