Chapter Fourty Eight

Chapter 48

“Lilith is dying?”Jemima reiterated the words Jay spewed from his mouth, unable to fully comprehend what Jay had just said.

Jemima’s gaze flickered to Marcus for a moment and she observed him closely as he sat on the couch, his eyes closed as his head was raised to the ceiling. She shifted her gaze from Marcus to Dimitri but he too didn’t meet her gaze. Instead, he kept his gaze fixed on the ground while Jay fixed his gaze on her.

Jemima looked at him again and their eyes locked on each other. The intensity of their stare held so many unspoken words that made the air charged with tension.

“What do you mean Lilith is dying?” Jemima asked, her voice quivering as she struggled to maintain a demure facade.

“That’s the information I got. I have to fly back to Rome to ensure all is well,” Jay replied simply with a shrug, his hands tucked in both sides of his pocket as he continued to stare at Jemima.

“I should come with you,” Jemima suggested, taking a gentle yet purposeful stride towards Jay who was already nodding his head.

“Jon needs you,” Jay muttered, his gaze flickering between Jemima’s as she moved closer to him till they were merely inches apart. Jemima nodded her head slowly, still unsettled. She had gotten quite close to Lilith the last time they were together and the thought of the little girl dying was just so unbearable.

In one sudden move, Jemima embraced Jay, taking everyone by surprise.
Vanessa and Dimitri shared a mischievous look before returning their gazes to the duo.

Jay, momentarily stunned, hesitated before he enveloped Jemima in a hug of his own. They stayed in that position, allowing seconds to pass them by before Marcus interrupted them by clearing his throat.

“I believe you have a flight to catch, Jay,” Marcus muttered through gritted teeth. He was a bit uncomfortable seeing his sister with someone else.

Jay clenched his jaw and simply responded with a nod of his head. He did not like the fact that Marcus interrupted him but Marcus was still his boss who could terminate his membership from the Mafia.

“Of course,” Jay uttered, fixing a steely gaze upon Marcus.

“I’ll go with you both to the airport,” Jemima suggested again, but Marcus stopped her in her tracks as he held her hand in place.

“Vanessa is already doing that so you don’t have to worry,” Marcus stated, causing Jemima to furrow her brows in confusion as she wondered why Marcus was suddenly acting protective of her.

“It’s fine Jem,” Dimitri responded, holding Vanessa by the hand as he led her out of the house. Jay simply gave a nod in her direction before taking one last glance at Marcus and finally exiting the house.

Jemima stood there, fixating her gaze on where Hay once was. She heard the engine roar to life before the tires screeched, signifying their departure. Jemima heaved a heavy sigh as silence fell upon them. The ticking of the clock became prominent and the dripping of the faucet in the kitchen became distinct.

“What was that all about?” Jemima croaked out, her voice laden with emotions that she could not comprehend.

“What was what all about?” Marcus inquired, feigning ignorance at what she was referring to.

“You know what I mean,” Jemima insisted, turning to face him.

“Alan is upstairs and upset, don’t you think you should talk to him, or have you forgotten so soon everything he has done for you?” Marcus stated authoritatively, his tone cryptic as he folded his hand across his chest.

“At least he was present, wish I could say the same about you,” Jemima spat out venomously, her voice icy as she glared at him. Jemima stormed out of him, angrily marching upstairs.

Even though she was furious at Marcus, she knew he was right and needed to make things right. With her mind set, she marched on to Alan’s room before rasping her knuckles against the door.

Jemima’s breath hitched in her throat as she waited for a response from Alan but there was none.
She tried to knock again but just as she was about to, a bare-chested Alan opened the door, causing her to hit his chest lightly.

“Oh my goodness, Al! I didn’t see you there. I apologize,” Jemima blurted out an apology as she took in his appearance.

“What do you want?” Alan questioned, obviously not in the mood to engage in any frivolous conversation with Jemima. He opened the door, allowing her into his room.

“Straight to business it is,” Jemima murmured as she locked the door behind her and watched as Alan plopped himself upon a sofa in the corner of his bedroom.

“Look, Alan, I don’t get why you’re upset about what happened earlier,” Jemima said, sitting down on the edge of the bed as she clasped her hands together, waiting for an explanation.

“You picked Jay Black over me!” Alan exclaimed, exasperation lacing his tone as he sat up. This was someone Jemima had vehemently despised and now he could not believe that she wasn’t siding with him.

“This is not about sides Alan! Jay said what he said to help, I already explained this!” Jemima muttered, confused as to why he was not seeing things from her perspective.

Silence befell them, serving Jemima with an opportunity to study Alan’s countenance. It suddenly dawned on her that siding with Jay was not the issue, something else was.

“This surely can’t be about Jay. What’s the issue?” Jemima asked, her expression calm as she watched him intently.

“I told you I love you Jem. You didn’t say anything,” Alan said solemnly, his voice etched with sadness as he joined Jemima on the bed and clasped her hands in his.

“Oh, Al!” Jemima exclaimed, heaving a sigh of relief as she cupped his cheeks in her palms.

“I didn’t say it in the spur of the moment Jem. I meant it when I said I love you, with every fiber of my being, every inch of my heart, I am in love with you. I’d die for you Jem at the same time, I’d kill for you. I’ve loved you from the moment I saw you hiding under the bed and I have never stopped loving you,” Alan confessed, taking Jemima by surprise.

Subconsciously, a tear escaped from Jemima’s eyes and she furiously wiped them away. She instinctively removed her hand from his face and fixated her gaze on her fingers.

The room became silent, causing the chirping of the birds in the distance to become distinct. The breeze blew softly, causing the curtains to swish softly.

“Say something Jem!” Alan pleaded, using his index finger to direct her gaze back to him. He watched her intently as she struggled to fight back the tears but a lone tear betrayed her which caused him to use the tip of his thumb to wipe it away.

Jemima closed her eyes tightly, willing for this all to be a dream. She didn’t want to hurt Alan’s feelings and at the same time, she didn’t want to lie to him.

“Alan,” Jemima called out softly, opening her eyes. She was met with Alan’s soft facial expression which caused her to smile wryly.

“Yes, Jem?” Alan answered eagerly, waiting for her response. He didn’t know what to expect but he didn’t want to be kept in the loop any longer. He needed to know how she felt about him.

“I love you Alan but…” Alan winced at that as he abruptly recoiled from her words. He closed his eyes and when he opened them again, he was met with Jemima’s solemn expression.

“Conditional love,” Alan whispered, afraid of breaking down. He felt completely devastated but he didn’t want to seem vulnerable in front of Jem.

“No Alan it’s not that. I truly and deeply love you. You have been there for every milestone. You took care of me in my most difficult times. You were there with me through it all, through thick and thin and I sincerely love you but only on a platonic level. I am truly sorry if this hurts your feelings but it’s just how I feel,” Jemima stated truthfully, biting the insides of her cheeks as she glanced at him, waiting for a response.

“Al?” Jemima called out to him, seconds later, when no words were exchanged. She didn’t want their relationship and connection to change just because of how she felt towards him.
Jemima needed him to understand that her feelings for him were the same.

“It’s fine Jem. These are just feelings, they’ll go away,” Alan muttered, glancing up to look at her and deep within himself he hoped that she saw half the pain he felt. A selfish part of him wanted her to feel as much pain as he was going through so she’d be able to fully comprehend just exactly how it felt to be heartbroken, at the same time, he hoped that even though she didn’t love him as much as he does, she would love someone who would love her for who she is, flaws and all.

“Oh, Alan!” Jemima drawled out his name affectionately and enveloped him in a warm embrace. Alan hesitated momentarily before wrapping his arm around her. He shut his eyes while sniffing in her scent and scent and raked his fingers through her hair.

Alan hugged her like it was the last time he was going to see her, filled with passion and unsaid feelings.

“If only I had told him how I felt earlier,” Jemima thought to herself.

“If only I had told her how I felt earlier,” Alan thought to himself.