The fear of becoming the monster himself.

Seth woke up with the worst headache she had had for as long as she could remember. Her body was sore even in the places she had no idea it could ever be.

The memories rushed through her mind, confusing her over and over again.

Was everything that happened between her, Dominic, and Vlad just a dream? Was it a reality? Or was it some weird type of sexual fantasy playing through her mind while she was unconscious?

After waking up, Seth spent about an hour trying to find clues around her cabin. Anything, even a piece of hair that wasn’t hers, would be enough proof to know that the surreal experience was real.

Even though she wouldn’t admit it - deep down, she hoped that she would find something.

Perhaps for some people, the experience might seem vile and unpleasant, but for Seth, the idea alone seemed like the best thing ever.

She promised herself to enjoy every little bit life would throw at her, and to find pleasure in such an exciting thing as a threesome would be another thing to check off from her to-do list.

Unfortunately, she couldn’t find anything, and at one point, she ran out of time. Looking at her wristwatch, Seth cursed under her breath. If half an hour was enough to take a shower, it wasn’t enough to do the makeup properly.

Who would believe that she was a man if Seth wouldn’t do her cover as she always did? Even a slight change might become her downfall. The Alphas had gotten used to the skinny, messy looking Omega boy running around; many powerful men would start to question the Council if Seth didn’t arrive under usual cover.

*“God, why must my life be so complicated? I could try to look for the stupid clues after coming back. But then someone might break in and get rid of anything that I overlooked now. Would they do such a thing? What if the whole thing was just a hallucination? It might be as real as fake. God damn it, Seth, get yourself together; you can do it! Deep breaths, woman! Take a quick shower, do your damn makeup, and run faster than the wind!”* The inner pep talk helped her to focus on more critical tasks.

Finally, she locked the cabin door, surprisingly looking better than expected, and slowly walked towards the main building. The fact that her friends weren’t around didn’t surprise Seth.

She expected them to become distant and avoid her after leaving her alone in the club. God knows if the word had spread already, and some people might think that the rumor was nothing but the truth.

Those weren’t lies, but Seth would prefer to keep all the things that happened as a secret rather than explain herself to everyone.

“Good morning. May I get a cup of coffee, please?” She spoke up, greeting the kitchen staff.

Seth watched how the older women smiled, and some greeted her back. Many were wondering why Seth didn’t make friends with them rather than with someone her own age, but she didn’t want to be involved in more situations of possible abandonment.

Not that she would tell that to anyone, but the experience hasn’t been the best with Amy and Gabe. But these women didn’t seem to care about anything that happened outside their work environment.

“Good morning, lovely. Did you enjoy your weekend?” One of the women flashed a bright smile at Seth and handed her a cup of coffee.

Even though she didn’t know most of the kitchen staff’s names, Seth eyed the woman as if she was a Goddess.

“I did, thank you” Seth tried to distance herself, feeling a little uncomfortable.

All those people have been nothing but kind towards her while she didn’t acknowledge their existence.

How could she turn into her father around such amazing people? The fear of becoming the monster himself froze her body on the spot.

She instantly recalled all those times when her father behaved the same as she did now. Would Seth ever forgive herself if she would act the same as that man?

“Listen, I’m sorry for acting like an ass most of the time. I really am. It wasn’t my intention to ignore you guys, I’m just a little shy, and I wasn’t sure if you would take me in. You know, this is my first time working here while you have such experience, nobody would want to hang out with newbies, I guess.” Seth kept staring at her feet, too ashamed to meet the staff’s eyes.

“Nonsense, sweetheart. We, as well, didn’t bother to put any effort into getting to know you, right? Our work is just as hard as yours is, and yet, you manage to help out without protesting or refusing our requests. We can try to communicate more; every person in this kitchen is very fond of you. Trust me; even if we don’t talk, we still like you. Now, come and join us; let’s have breakfast before the rush hour starts.” The same woman that made Seth coffee motioned towards the large table in the middle of the kitchen.

Staff sat around it, getting an extra chair for Seth to join them. As funny as it seemed, she recalled her first week - she always arrived earlier than supposed and had breakfast with Amy and Gabe.

Those two never sat around the table with others, distancing themselves from any other person at all costs. Seth found herself enjoying the company of older staff members more; they spoke about many experiences and memories they shared.

The conversation was exciting, real, and genuine happiness filled their words. Time by time, someone attempted to involve Seth in the discussion - an opportunity she politely declined, focusing her attention on the words spoken by others.

She loved listening to all those things, mainly when women talked about leaving for the weekends.

Seth nearly teared up, feeling as if she had a chance to meet distant family members. Even though a bunch of strangers, those people made her feel as if she was a part of a real family. Even if for a little - it was enough.

“Alright, the breakfast has been as fun as ever, but we should get back to work.” A woman stood up from her seat first, followed by others.

The chatter died, words echoing against the walls were replaced by the sounds of pans and pots. Seth silently stood up, drinking the last bit of her coffee, and washed the cup, thanking the elder lady with a kiss on her cheek.

“You made me feel like a part of something, thank you,” she whispered in the woman’s ear and left the kitchen.

Seth was supposed to go straight to the Council, but she ran to the bathroom, crying her eyes out. Perhaps the emotional outburst could be avoided, if not the older woman, encouraging Seth to call her grandma.

In moments as such, Seth truly missed some of her family members, people, around whom she could be herself. She overheard rushed steps in the distance, meaning that it was about the time to leave the bathroom.

If any Alpha saw her around here, dressed as a man - they would question her. Well, they wouldn’t, if a young woman would leave the bathroom meant for women to use, but she was dressed as a man.

So what now?

Her cover might arouse more interest in the homosexual Alpha that already had tried to get some alone time with her. Seth silently crept outside, ensuring she had checked if the coast was clear before rushing down the halls towards the library where the Council members would be waiting for her arrival.

Thankfully, she managed to reach her goal within a few minutes, avoiding every other person in her way - both guards and the Alphas. She stood by the door, took a deep breath, and finally raised her hand to knock on it.

“Come in,” a gruff voice called out, making her feel even more worried than she was before.
Seth feared that the Council members might have overheard something from the weekend, and perhaps, the task of being assigned to an Alpha was just a cover.

She held her breath as she walked inside the library, silently closing the door behind her. When she finally lifted her eyes, she gasped in surprise, noticing that only one man faced her. It was the same Council member who came up with an idea for her to dress like a man.

“Sit down, darling,” the elder man smiled, motioning towards the large chair right in front of him. Seth nodded her head and gulped as she approached the chair, millions of scenarios running through her mind.

She didn’t want to lose the job, but if the Council caught on to something she did - it might be the end of her journey.

“May I ask if there is a problem? Am I failing the requirements, sir?” Despite her shaky voice, Seth still managed to sound powerful and unbothered.

Sometimes having Alpha blood helped her get out of different situations, but it didn’t mean that she never felt fear.

“There is no problem, dear. I needed some alone time with you since we received your full file last Friday. Please understand that we must do many background checks to ensure that the staff wouldn’t lie about their intentions or experience. I must say, I was surprised. Don’t worry, darling; I am the only one who has seen or held this file - your secret is safe. But I’m inquisitive as to why you would choose to hide your bloodline and family history? A firstborn daughter of a puma Alpha is working under werewolf Council; it does sound suspicious, doesn’t it?” The man smiled; he didn’t seem angry or disappointed, just merely curious.

“Sir, I would prefer to keep this information all to myself since it’s private.” As soon as the words left her lips, Seth let out a deep breath in defeat.

“However, I do understand that I shall be seen as a traitor or a threat if I don’t explain myself. My family and I are not on the best terms. I have always hidden that I am a puma shifter, let alone any information about my family. Besides my best friend, nobody knows who my family is or any information about the title they hold. I am working here because of the money, the same as any other person around the house. The money you offered for this job is enough for me to live without worry for a full year or two; I’d be an idiot to ignore such an opportunity. If you’re worried about my father - don’t be. He has no idea where I am or what I’m doing. The last time I heard from him was a couple of days ago, but even if he manages to appear, the man always needs a favor. That’s it. He is too big of a coward, a weak one at that, to step his feet on this territory.”

“I assume that this favor would be about arranged marriage, right? I recall it was pretty common among puma leaders to promise their daughters to other leaders since the packs usually tend to be rather small communities. Of course, this shouldn’t be a question to ask under any other circumstances, but it is an important bit of information now. Have you heard anything about the lucky man yet? I would like to know more as to whether we should worry about surprise visitors anytime soon, and I’m not talking about your father,” the man didn’t spare even a glance at Seth until she gasped in shock, covering her mouth with both palms.

“Don’t tell me that you didn’t know about the traditions of your own species?”

The Council member watched how Seth slowly shook her head; pure emotions of confusion and fear were written all over her face.

At one point, she paled, making him worried about her health. How irresponsible can a parent be to forget to mention such an essential thing as this? Of course, it was different between wolves, but pumas were known for marrying their children off for pieces of territory or money - depending on what the parents demanded in return.

“I think it would be better if you took this day off; the Council, of course, will cover it the same as any other day. You will receive a full daily wage even if you choose to sleep this off. Before you do, I will introduce you to some things that are about to change around here. Would that be too much? Perhaps it would be better to reschedule this meeting to tomorrow?”

Seth admired the Council member - he was such an understanding man, even offering her a day off. She took some time before giving any answer - sleep might help, but working could get her mind off the dreaded thoughts.

Then again, going back to the cabin meant that she could try to look for the proof once again, finally answering the question that didn’t leave her mind for hours. She took a deep breath and forced herself to smile towards him.

“If that isn’t too much, I would like to take a day off today. I will gladly hold the meeting to get straight to work tomorrow morning. I’m sure you have many other responsibilities besides babysitting a puma. I do appreciate your kindness, though; it’s more than my father has ever given to me anyway. Speaking of my father - I might try to give him a call later today and question him about this topic.”

“Alright, why don’t we get straight to the point then. Technically, it should start today, but I’m sure we can handle the task for one day ourselves. From tomorrow morning, you’ll be assigned to an Alpha that has decided to ignore every other rule we have around here, yet we can’t drop him from the competition. This man is a complicated piece of a wolf, but he is one of the top candidates to take the title. Alpha Vincent has to stay under a guard, and we decided that a weak Omega boy would be the best candidate to follow him - he wouldn’t suspect a thing. The task you are to take care of is to make sure there are no women around him. The main rule here is no women around Alphas since, well you know, certain actions might take a lot of uhh energy, yeah,” the older he spoke and scratched the back of his neck, visibly uncomfortable.

The blush on his cheeks made Seth chuckle in amusement.

“Sir, don’t be ashamed; I know that you’re talking about sex. So, my task would be making sure that the Alpha doesn’t have sex on the weekdays, am I correct?” She struggled to stay serious, especially since the Council member reminded her of a talking tomato by now.

“Yes, that is correct. I will warn him that he is to meet you near the cabin before breakfast time tomorrow morning. Now, go, get some rest.” The older man motioned at the door and turned the chair around, looking outside the large window, hiding from her. As much as Seth wanted to burst out in laughter, the seemingly simple task terrified her.

“Oh, and by the way, since we have some visitors coming and going, we moved your car to the underground parking. Staff doesn’t leave territory that often so we figured it wouldn’t bother you. Once you need to leave, let us know.”

Seth nodded her head. The car was the least of her problems right now. *“So much for plans to avoid the asshole.”*