The past still hurt.

“Luciano, are you okay?” Vlad shook the Alpha, questioning him as he did.

He couldn't understand why Luciano didn't move from the spot. They arrived at his house, intending to talk over everything they knew and perhaps develop a plan.

It was actually Luciano's idea to go to his house since it was away, in the middle of the woods - the ultimate privacy. Then, as soon as they approached the house, his eyes fell on a small detail, and he froze.

At first, Vlad gave him some time, thinking that his newfound friend would need it - men didn't freeze like that without reason. After a while, Vlad started feeling a little worried about Luciano's sanity.

“Yeah,” Luciano shrugged Vlad's hand off of him and shook his head. “I just noticed something; let's say the thing triggered a flashback. Not the most pleasant thing, but those happen when least expected. I'm sure you've been through some shit yourself, especially one that keeps haunting you even in your dreams,” the Alpha chuckled as if it wasn't a big deal.

It was a big deal - probably more significant than anyone could think of. Up to this moment, Luciano managed to forget about that woman, getting lost in the happiness he felt next to the cat shifter.

The flashback made him feel guilty - that human woman blindly trusted him, laughed at his jokes, and wanted to leave with him. Then, because of who he was - the woman died.

It wasn't her fault; the ways of the Goddess are hard to understand, especially for humans.

If he had known that she would kiss her life goodbye because of him, Luciano wouldn't dare to stay around her. The guilt ate him up. What would she think of him if she knew that he had moved on?

“Listen, I'm here if you need to talk. I know how flashbacks work, and going through those on your own might be terrifying. Maybe we could sit down and discuss some details? As many as you're comfortable talking about - then, we can move on and change the topic. I won't force you, but I'm sure that it might help you.” Vlad scratched the back of his neck nervously, his eyes glued on the house door.

He knew that it wasn't his place to bring up the topic, but the Alpha was visibly distressed - he needed someone, even if he tried to deny the need for help.

“Fuck it, let's go,” Luciano growled under his breath, rushing to open the house door.

As soon as he stepped inside, he understood how much he missed Seth. Without her, the place didn't seem like home, even though they barely knew each other - he knew that she had to be there.

Even if the cat shifter ended up with someone else, he would keep on loving the woman as if there was no end to the world.

Luciano stomped towards the living room, Vlad hot on his heels. Watching how the Alpha sat down, he tried his best to be the host any Alpha man was supposed to be.

“Drink?” Luciano offered, avoiding mentioning any other beverage Vlad could choose.

The relief hit him like an unexpected wave when Vlad nodded his head and added that he would drink anything that Luciano would. Perhaps having someone else around him wasn't as bad as it seemed from the very beginning.

Then again, it wouldn't seem half as bad if not the damn memory, freezing the time and his ability to move.

It had been years since the last time when Luciano froze in time like that.

The Alpha grabbed two bottles of beer from the refrigerator and opened the bottles. He didn't bother with bringing glasses - he never did; it wasn't necessary, especially if the company was another Alpha.

Walking back into the living room, he noticed how Vlad didn't stand up from the sofa, nor did his eyes try to scan the surroundings.

Unlike other guests, this one had enough decency in him to keep his nose out of other's business.

A corner of Luciano's lip lifted, he found himself becoming a bit more trusting towards the other Alpha. Approaching the sofa, he handed the bottle to Vlad and sat on the seat in front of the male.

They didn't speak for a while, enjoying the cold drink in silence. However, it didn't take too much time till Vlad spoke up, his eyes focused on Luciano.

“So? Do you need someone to listen, or would you rather drop the topic? I'm fine with either, but you choose the best for yourself. Don't build the barrier when there is no need for one. We will spend a hell of a lot of time together now, so I wouldn't mind finding out a little about those triggers and maybe even things I could do to help you whenever something like this happens again.” Vlad carefully placed the beer bottle on the floor next to his feet, leaning forward.

He tried his best to sound like a friend even though that might have been the most tricky thing he had to do. How does one become a friend to someone they had barely known?

Luciano sighed, closing his eyes and leaning back against the chair. His thoughts were all over the place, as hard as he tried - he couldn't grasp on one thought to keep it.

“There was a woman,” even the most clueless person could catch on to the pain and regret in his words. Luciano gulped, attempting to hide his emotions, but Vlad could see that the Alpha had to fight his tears back - whatever he was about to tell was something grand.

It was the first time Vlad met someone who had gone through something as traumatic to scar them for the rest of their life.

“She was a human. I don't know much about her, not that I was ever given a chance to get to know her better. We met a long time ago; back then, my father was the Alpha, and I stood as the next in line. It happened around the middle of the moon festival. I'm sure you have joined one at least once or at least heard about those. Well, we were done with the hunt of the day, and I caught on a scent.”

“First, I tried to ignore it, but if I say that it was impossible - that's what I mean. The scent pulled me in like a magnet; I couldn't resist the need to find out its source. Well, the wolves are quite dangerous during the rituals, so I sent them all off and explained that I had something to do. That's when I met her - a human, high up on the tree, trying to look over the woods to find her way back home. She got lost because of her childish ways, but man, that seemed like the purest, most innocent, and cutest thing a woman could do. When she placed her hand in mine, I swear it was pure bliss - the electricity, the pull, everything you could think of.”

Luciano had to stop to take a couple of deep breaths.

He got so carried away; he forgot how to breathe in between the words. The shock on Vlad's face said it all. He would ask many questions, and maybe it was better if Luciano answered them before he spoke more.

“I don't want to sound like a lunatic, but that sounds like the mate bond. The idea itself is ridiculous; we don't have those anymore. The last person who spoke about someone like you're describing that woman was my grand grandmother. She was more than a hundred years old, and she died decades ago. Are you sure? I mean, completely sure that all those things happened? I don't want to be that person, but I have to be... You're sure that whatever happened wasn't a vivid dream or hallucination?” Vlad did his best to try and believe in everything he had heard, but it was more than challenging at this point.

He spent time around the elderly woman when he was very young, and the stories she told seemed impossible even back then.

Now, when he was a grown man - he lost all hope in ever living long enough to meet someone else who had gone through the same phenomenon.

Back in the days, many wolves didn't appreciate the gift given by the Goddess. Nowadays, every wolf alive wished the mate bond was a real thing again - finding someone perfectly molded for you and you only meant the world to everyone.

Except for the fact that wolves, humans, or other shifters as such were nearly impossible to find. The whole bond thing definitely made their task a lot easier.

“Pretty damn sure. I know how crazy it sounds, but you'll have more things to obsess over when I'm done with this shit. Where was I? Oh, right. So, I walked her home - by the time we approached the town, the only thing I knew was that I wouldn't be able to let go of her. Her name was Talia, and if the name doesn't sound beautiful enough, her looks did her justice…”

“She offered to meet me once again after a while, so I agreed. If only I could explain the happiness I felt when she told me that she wanted to see me again. I was young and pretty foolish back then, thinking that she would come alone and I would take her home. Obviously, it didn't happen. Some of my men arrived at the town, and soon after that - Talia's father came with her. The man voiced his feelings loud and clear - he had no idea who the fuck I was or what type of a person I could be; in his eyes, I was nothing but a monster.”

When Luciano kept talking, at first, he sounded like the happiest man alive - recalling the beautiful part of their journey was genuine bliss.

The Alpha sounded like Vlad's grandmother when she spoke about her late husband.

However, as soon as he got to the part about their meeting - the male radiated pain and anger. Now, Vlad thought if he had pushed Luciano's buttons too far. They didn't need unnecessary arguments,and Goddess forbid a fight.

“If you don't want to tell more - you don't need to.” Vlad raised his hands, trying to stop the Alpha.

Despite the curiosity, he was more than willing to drop the subject as soon as possible. Playing with someone's emotions, especially those connected to traumatic events, wasn't the wisest thing one could do.

“I should; perhaps, you'll help me to find some of the missing pieces. I need answers.” Luciano shook his head.

The Alpha sought forgiveness, answers, and peace for so long, yet he never spoke about the pain. No wonder people went to a psychologist so often - that's how they dealt with the pain, while Luciano kept swallowing it.

If he didn't do something about the memories, those triggers would show up more often - he would rot from inside, ruining any chance for happiness.

“What happened next?” Vlad grabbed the bottle and took a sip of the beer.

His throat dried up; for the first time, he faced someone with a past as dark, as mysterious, and full of pain. Maybe the Alpha could teach him many lessons without knowing that.

“I still think that the fucker had an idea why I was so nice to his daughter. Just like you said - we don't have mates anymore, but there are pieces of your soul all over the world. That's how we choose our partners for life; towards some, we are drawn more than towards others. I didn't mention even one detail about that to her; I didn't want to scare her. But her father... He killed Talia in front of my eyes.”Luciano couldn't bring himself to look at Vlad.

Deep down, he knew that facing someone who could have a little sympathy or pity in their eyes might make him break down. He had taken so much time to find himself once again, yet, sooner or later - he always returned to the memories.

Living in the past was the worst thing a person could do; sometimes, Luciano felt like he forced himself to remember again and again.

He was incapable of letting go, refusing to find happiness with someone else. They never dated; never spoke more than the couple of hours they had together, but Luciano felt as if he cheated on Talia whenever a woman caught his attention.

With Seth, it was a bit different. She managed to help him forget about the pain; the cat shifter had a way to encourage Luciano to think about tomorrow rather than recall yesterday over and over again.

With her, the Alpha found hope.

“Holy shit, man, I'm so sorry. That sounds terrible. Would it be too much to ask for you to tell me how and what happened after that?” Vlad gasped out loud, finally managing to get past the state of shock.

“My men, my own men held me down while he placed a gun against her temple and pulled the trigger. Whatever happened next is history. He came to me, calling me a monster, so - I did the most reasonable thing I could think of in such a situation. I showed him what a true monster was. I killed his friends, family, and burned down buildings. I killed my men - every single of them who held me down. And I made that fucked watch what was happening because of that one gunshot. He took one thing from me, and I took everything from him before I killed him.”

“Call me an animal, but I still smile, recalling the fear in those eyes. I still laugh whenever I remember the screams of desperation, his pleading, and constant begging for forgiveness. That son of a bitch never gave my Talia a chance to beg. Fucking never. There's an engraved gun on the door handle here; I'm sure that was the reason for the flashback. Now, I feel guilty in front of her whenever I think of Seth. I'm not sure if I deserve happiness with the woman of my dreams after my one and only was taken away from me.”


Luciano closed his eyes, letting the room fall silent.

Maybe they needed the comfort of silence more than ever. To hell with the plans and anything, they came here to do.

Now, both of them needed time to think and process the conversation.

No matter what happened tomorrow - today, they were here to talk, not to act. Luciano felt as if a rock was lifted from his heart; for some reason the thought of letting go didn't hurt him as much either.

Was he ready to let Talia go? Or was it her, ready to let him find happiness in someone else?

“But... You mentioned that small parts of our soul might be all over the world. What if, just what if Seth has the small part of yours?”