Chapter 24

I have been on my walk for almost two hours now, enough time for him to calm down and allow us to talk about this. He wasn't in our tent so am assuming he needs more time and is probably drinking his sorrows away somewhere. Am prepared to face this if he will at least believe me or pretend to. He just has to listen to my side of the story.

I take a shower and get in bed as it is past 11pm. Am sure I will hear him come in because am a light sleeper. I waited for as long as I could before I gave up and allowed sleep to take over.

I woke up alone in our bed in the morning . His side of the bed untouched. Which means he didn't come to bed at all last night. Was he that angry that the thought of sleeping next to me disgusted him? I need to look for him. No more avoiding him. I need to deal with this now before it escalates.

Today being the second day of my period is always better than the first day. My body has adapted to the pain and now I can do other stuff besides staying in bed . Like looking for Marcus. Never thought that one day I would chase after a man.

I have always been proud. My parents raised us to be proud and to know our worth. That is why we pushed ourselves to do well in school in order to have good careers and not depend on men. Our mothers had to depend on our fathers as that was how traditions dictate but we don't have to. My dad always says that a man respects a lady more when he knows she can survive without him.

As much as there are men who appreciate women with careers ,there are those who say a woman with a career is a deal breaker. I sincerely never understand them. Don't they want help paying bills? They want a woman whom they can control from what she eats, to what she wears and unfortunately those are highest percentage of men in my country.

I take a shower ,change my clothes and go searching for Marcus. Unfortunately he is nowhere to be found. I even swallowed my pride and went to ask his demon brother but he wasn't around either . As I am walking away from Jake's tent one of the patrons stops me.

" Hello miss" he is polite but I can't help but notice he is nervous. He is avoiding my gaze at all costs pretending to be looking at the papers on his clip board.

" Hello"

" Are you Miss Zawadi ?"

" Yes, how can I help you? "

" I have a message from Marcus. You do know him?"

" Yes I do"

" Marcus and his brother left for Nairobi yesterday night. "

" W-what...?"

I am shocked ,dismayed and humiliated .The shock is written all over my face. My hands are shaking from anger and tears rush to my eyes. I feel so humiliated. I try looking up and blinking a few times to stop the tears from falling. This man has decided to embarrass me. No one has ever ditched me before and in the middle of nowhere at that.

" His message is that he has organized transportation to Nairobi for you. Whenever your ready to go back home, you can inform me and I will get you a flight ticket."

I should be glad that he thought about me but am angry and hurt by his actions. How did he think leaving me here would help? That it would solve anything. He is a selfish jerk! Sorry I curse a lot when am angry or annoyed.

" Miss you can stay the remainder of the days here, everything has been sorted"

" No thank you." I say annoyed that he would even think that I would want this .

I should not be angry at this nice patron. At least he had the courage to come and tell me that the guy I came with ditched me in fricking Masai Mara. This place has always been dear to my heart and now due to Marcus's selfishness I can't wait to leave. I know who I should direct my anger and frustration to but the only problem is he is not here.

" Thank you Sir"

" Miss if I may give you piece of advice" he traded carefully.

" Okay"

" Hawa wazungu hawapendi waafrika ata kidogo. Wanapenda kuwatumia lakini si ati akupende ya ukweli. Venye amefanya ni mbaya zaidi. A cowards way out. Chukua hii kama onyo " ( this white people don't love Africans ,not really. They pretend they do but they don't . They will use you and pretend to love you but they actually don't. What he did was terrible and it's a cowards way out. Take this as a warning do not turn a blind eye).

" Thank you"

" Wewe ni kama ule msichana wangu mkubwa,siwezi taka uteseke"(you're like my eldest daughter and I wouldn't want you to suffer)

" Thank you for the advice. I think it's best I pack and go home. Could you get me the flight ticket? " I ask with a smile.

The smile on my face was masking the pain I felt inside. There are so many emotions that I don't what I should feel at the moment but betrayal is up there together with shame. Am ashamed that I am in love with a person who would do this to me. Humiliate me like this.

If he didn't believe me it's fine, but leaving me here alone is just something else.

" I will bring it to your tent. You have one hour"

" Thank you so much for your advice and help ,I appreciate it"

We both part ways as I go back to our tent to pack. Opening the portable wardrobe, I notice his clothes are missing. How did I not notice that his things were missing? The clues are right there for me to see. Me and my stupid eyes were too stupid to see what was right in front of me. I have been played for a fool.

He never loved or cared for me. That is so apparent now. Come to think of it ,he only ever told me that he liked me on our third date. Apart from that, nothing. Oh my goodness, this relationship has all been in my head. I have been in a relationship alone.

This revelation brings tears in my eyes and this time I let them fall. I am heartbroken and disappointed in him but mostly in myself. I finished packing and took one last look at my paradise, that will never be a paradise in my eyes again after this. Dragging my suitcase to the small airstrip refusing any help from the people who offered. I felt like the suitcase was my heart and I was dragging it back home, hurt, broken and heavy.