Engaged without love

Nathan’s eyes sparkled as he passed a seductive smile my way. It had been barely a minute since our engagement and only a few more since he had gained consciousness. That man was playing with death.  
“The doctor just told us not to do that. Nathan, you need to take your health more seriously,” I politely warned him. 
“Someone is more worried about me than I am.” Nathan wrinkled his forehead, taking a step toward me. He stroked my cheek. “Looks like someone is smitten by my charms. Are you already in love with me, Amelia?”  
Initially, I smiled at his humor. However, it soon faded when I took another look at him. His face reflected expectation and pride. He believed someone could fall so quickly for him. “The doctor is more concerned about your health. That means he is in love with you, too?” I questioned. 
My witty reply silenced Nathan, and not in a good way. Had I shot myself in the foot by opening my big mouth so soon? I was about to reopen it to apologize, but he touched my face again. “If Doctor Williams were a woman, his heart would have been in serious trouble.” His fingers slowly traced my cheek and stopped at my lips. He was acting like a woman magnet. “As a man, his interest in my health solely lies in monetary greed. You, however, have much more to gain from me.” He took my hand and placed it on his chest. “Aren’t you afraid of losing my rock-hard body? I see you drooling over it each time I take my shirt off. Don’t you want to take advantage of it as much as possible before it’s ruined?” 
“No!” I took my hand back. “I am fine with waiting. You overthink about looks. Beauty eventually fades. I am more attracted to someone’s personality and heart.” 
“Is that so?” Nathan’s eyes widened. “Then are you attracted to my emotionless heart? Is that why you agreed to be my fiancé?” 
His words were confusing. Was he trying to accuse me of only being attracted to his outer beauty and wealth? Or did he want me to say something good about him? 
“You did a good thing for me on the balcony. If your heart had no emotions, you would have given me to the mafia. You do care about others. The only problem is that...” I stopped. I was not in a position to insult my savior. His attitude was his problem, not mine.  
Nathan grinned sarcastically. “Why did you stop? You were about to criticize me. I like how you are not afraid to speak your mind. There is no need to hide anything from me now that we’re engaged.” 
I studied his face. He was amused, but I still wasn’t sure how to proceed. I had seen his bare physical body, yet I knew nothing about him. Sex alone can’t tell you a thing about a person. The Nathan Sinclair I had met on the first day of my job was very different, but no one could change drastically in a few days.  
“You are more straightforward than me,” I began. “But unlike you, I don’t have the power, influence, and wealth to say whatever I want. Life has been cruel to me in more ways than you can imagine. I need to watch my tongue if I wish to survive.” 
Nathan appeared shocked. “You think I would contact the mafia and give you away to them if you say anything bad about me?” 
I lowered my head. I couldn’t lie about not having that fear. “Everyone tells me you have a bad temper,” I explained. 
“Who? Who is saying that behind my back?” Nathan folded his arms, tapping his foot. “The worst I have ever done to someone is fire or humiliate and exhaust them with an impossible task. How can someone compare that with plain cruelty? I may have faced no other problem than my illness, but I am well aware of the world. The mafia would do the unthinkable to you. They kill, torture, and rape without a second thought. I wouldn’t want that to happen to any woman, let alone my fiancé. I gave you a ring. That doesn’t mean anything to you?” 
My heart relaxed and warmed a little. However, Nathan could still kick me out of his home if not directly hand me over to my enemies. Getting back on the streets unprotected without any evidence of being threatened was just as bad because they would eventually find me anywhere.  
I exhaled loudly. “Couples usually get engaged for love or money. But our engagement is merely a test. It would end if you didn’t fall in love with me. I don’t mean anything to you. If this goes to hell, I am on my own again. That’s why I am afraid.” 
Nathan blankly stared at me for a while. What was he thinking? Was he tired of my emotions? He wanted me to seduce him and be the one he could love. And all I was doing was ruining his mood with my sorrows. “I will ensure your safety regardless of what happens between us. You don’t need to be afraid of the mafia. I promise.” 
I was speechless. The good side of Nathan rarely showed, but every time I saw it, I was more attracted and thankful to him. I even felt a tiny amount of guilt for hiding his mother’s affair. Who could I trust in that house? Was Nathan more worthy of my loyalty than Mrs. Sinclair, or did I need to be careful around all of them? 
“Thanks. You’re kind. I have no words to express my gratitude. I wonder why the others don’t see this generous side of you,” I spoke. 
“Because I rarely show it. Consider yourself my favorite because I am not this kind to anyone. Perhaps not even my parents,” said Nathan. 
I put my arms around Nathan and squeezed him. I didn’t know what had gotten into me, but I found so much comfort there. Finally, there was someone I could rely on. 
The door opened. “Sir,..” an unfamiliar servant spoke.  
“Get out! You’re fired!” Nathan yelled at him furiously, scaring the shit out of me. I looked at him in confusion. His face was red with anger.  
There was much to be done despite his kind heart.