Having his child

I moved my gaze around the room to escape Nathan’s unwavering stare and unnerving silence. In my head, I had imagined that my sacrificial act would bring him joy, but all he did was look at me like I had confessed to the kidnapping and murder of his long-lost twin sibling.  
“Why would you do that? Have you even thought this through?” Nathan spoke after staring at me for what felt like an eternity.  
He wasn’t wrong. I had not thought it through. Now, his judgemental eyes were making me second-guess my decision. I closed my eyes to think about it, away from the pressure of him judging everything that came out of my mouth. 
Nathan was ailing. His disease was so rare that doctors and scientists couldn’t comprehend it. If his disease wasn’t very serious or incapable of becoming life-threatening, his parents wouldn’t be in a rush to get him married and bring his child into the world. Nathan wouldn’t have spared me a second glance if his health wasn’t rapidly deteriorating.  
All good deeds are rewarded by God. I had faith in that. Additionally, since I would be birthing a sick billionaire’s child, it would be beneficial for me both in the physical world and the hereafter.  
“Yes, I have thought it through. You and your family have helped in many ways. It’s the least I can do for you,” I announced my decision selflessly.  
“You must be out of your mind.” Nathan sat up in a frenzy, turning his back on me. “I may have been looked after and protected all my life, but a child is a responsibility, not a favor. You should want a baby because you are prepared for it, not because someone else is forcing you to have it.” 
Nathan had a point. Little did he know I had suffered from baby fever all my life. Bringing a life into the world and caring for it was my lifelong dream. That dream would have become true long ago if John hadn’t delayed it. He always had a reason to wait. Looking back, it all made sense. He wasn’t waiting for the right time. He was waiting for the right woman. Who knows, he could have had children out of wedlock from the other women he was involved with. That man was a stranger to me. Anything was possible.
“I have always loved children, and I know what it takes to love and take care of one. You may not remember this, but I was married once. I was so prepared to become a mother. Life had other plans,” I said. 
“That was different. You were in love with that man and had made a promise of a lifetime to him,” began Nathan without looking back at me. “Why would you want to conceive the child of a person you hated a few days ago? We barely know each other. The engagement was fine, and a wedding wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. However, should we bring a third life into a situation we are exploring?” 
Nathan’s response sealed my lips again and sent me into deep thinking again. “To be honest, if it were up to me, I would be fine with waiting for years. I am thinking about you and your family here.” 
He stood up in a rush, accidentally knocking down his clutches. He bent over to pick them up. I thought he had lost his ability to walk again. Frank’s book had described Nathan’s illness as unpredictable as his mood.  
“Everyone cares about what they want. Does anyone care about what I want?” Nathan spoke, looking directly at me. 
“Of course, Nathan.” I impatiently crawled on the bed to get closer to him. While sitting on my knees, I reached for his arm, but he pushed me away. “Your parents are constantly thinking about you. They want you to have everything in this world. Unfortunately, they can only provide you with material things, so they rely on people to give you other forms of happiness. There is no greater joy than having a family. I am not saying you will die soon. You are a fighter, and you will live till old age. What I am saying is that you shouldn’t shy away from happiness. Illness and other problems make us more grateful and are a reminder that we should live every day like it’s our last. If you are sure that having a child would only make you miserable, then say no, but if there is any chance it would motivate you to wake up stronger in the morning and bring a smile to your face, then you should go for it.” 
Mr. And Mrs. Sinclair hadn’t given me the exact reasons for forcing their son to have a child as soon as possible, but I knew how a loving parent’s mind worked.  
Nathan had listened to all that without interrupting me once. I could see in it his dodgy yet deep gaze that he was considering it.  
“Fine. I am willing to give this a shot,” he started. I mentally applauded myself for being the wizard who could convince Nathan to do anything. “But having a child wouldn’t make our relationship permanent. If I don't fall in love with you before the birth of our child, we will go our separate ways regardless of whether we are married or not by then. Is that acceptable to you?” 
I gulped in fear for the future. One scenario involved me holding an infant as I walked down the street. What if Nathan kicked me out with the baby? That way, I would have more than one life to protect from the mafia.  
One thing was clear. To make the decision to have his baby, I needed security from someone. Be it his parents or him. The Sinclairs better be offering a fortune for their heir.