CHAPTER 39

"You can't have it all Rose but I promise you'll always have what you need to make you happy."
Rose thought about her late husband famous words as she stayed down on all fours atop the mountain. It was her best spot and a very frequent one for her when her husband had been alive and she had had strength in her legs .
Those had been happy days, days that still made her smile whenever she remembered them. But he was hone and it was no longer her favourite spot because he was not there to share it with her. She missed him so much.
Rose wished he was there to help her with her soon to be daughter in law. She believed Shana was the right woman for her Asher but she just could not shake off the feeling that something was wrong somewhere.
Hence, she had arranged for Shana to have dinner with her;alone.
She needed to ask some questions that were eating away her inside. Like the fact that Shana was intentionally keeping her identity hidden from Asher. How did she know to do that? She believed it was perfectly normal for her to have opened up to Asher after he told her he was a shifter. It should have been like the trading of secrets but no, her grandson was clueless;which was fine by her by the way.
The answer could not be that Asher told her. From their short interaction, she realized Asher had discussed nothing about his family with his mate. She had been lost whenever the conversation veered in that direction. Rose believed it was Asher's way of saying that part of his life never existed but to Rose, he was only running from an inevitable truth.
The most pressing answer she wanted was why Shana did not seem happy about the whole arrangement. Her grandson was elated and in love. He was obviously anxious to be joined to her but Shana looked so anxious to dump him. Rose hoped her feeling was wrong. If only the girl was not so right for Asher. But like her husband always said, she could not have it all. Shana was not the perfect lady but she was all Asher needed to be happy.
She furrowed her brows, wishing she could shift to her human form and relax. But that was out of it for her. If she did, there was no way she could stand or sit like she really wanted to. She still missed being able to move around with her legs instead of a wheelchair or only in her wolf form.
After she was abducted and poisoned by her husband's rivals, she had been unable to walk ever since then. Whatever they had done, it had affected her legs and her husband had blamed himself for not being able to protect her till he died.
Those had been darker days for her. She had never been able to convince him the wickedness of a few people and their intents were not orchestrated by him. He had been a good man and not being there to protect her did not mean he was not off doing something noble. He was the Alpha the pack loved and he had loved them in return. Although she knew how much he loved her, the pack had competed so much with her for his attention. And when he had not been there for her, it had been because he had to be there for the pack.
And she never blamed him. It only made her love him more.
She sighed, trying to stop thinking of the past. She looked around at the calm, beautiful scenery before her and she realized how much she missed the spot. Perhaps, she would be able to show it to her great grandchild someday. The thought made her smile sadly, knowing she was probably not going to meet any of them. She just had this feeling that her time was closer than she could imagine.
But whatever happened to her, she was not taking that last breathe until Asher was finally happy.
Rose knew she was no longer alone before she heard the faint footfalls behind her.
She had taken a whiff of the air and had smelled another wolf, the same one whose smell had clung to her favourite spot just like her a few strands of brown furs she had shed on the spot.
She turned and pinned her gaze on the wolf who was about making a hasty retreat the moment she saw her.
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"Shana?"
Shana's head jerked up so fast she felt dizzy. "Yes?," she answered gently, giving Asher a small smile.
Can I talk to you for a sec? In my office?," he asked with a cautious smile.
"Sure," she answered and stood up to follow after him immediately.
Thank goodness!
He was surely about to call the whole thing off, regardless of being mated or not. Asher was finally in control of his senses and she felt almost as relieved as she was sad.
Relieved because she finally decided that whatever was going to happen to her should damn well happen. She was not going to ruin the man she loved. So coming to his senses and realizing her made the mistake of his life with her would have been a relieve because he would have been the one letting her off and making it all easy for her.
And at the same time, she was sad he was letting her off. She could no longer imagine a life without Asher Anderson. Suddenly, he was the centre of her everything and she was going to be heartbroken without him. But it was all good.
Now, she just had to leave. She did not have to give a grand confession like she had been contemplating.
"I know what...," Shana started talking at the same time as Asher said "I need to...."
"Sorry. I think you should go first," he said smiling.
"No. I want you to go first," she said quietly.
"OK," Asher said gently.
Standing so far apart, they were the perfect picture of a secretary and boss, not bonded mates that they were and Asher did not like it one bit. She did not look like a woman he was tying himself to forever before the world in a matter of days. It was like she did not want to go through with it anymore but that was never going to happen.
They were no more than mates than the first day he had met her. After their mating of over a week, they had grown apart instead of growing closer and he was tired of playing the gentleman he was not. He was tired of handling her with kid gloves because he did not want her running. It was not working and he had decided he was going to do it his own way but first, he needed to clear the air about running background checks on her.
He reasoned she was pissed at him about it but just was not talking about it. She had not even asked him anything about how he knew she did not have a relative but he figured she was smart enough to have worked it out.
"I need to apologize. I did some background checks on you when I hired you and I want you to understand my reasons for doing that. It was needed because..,"
"You don't have to apologize for that or explain. I understand," she said quickly before he went on. His apology only made her feel more like a bad person.
"Are you sure? Because I thought you were angry about it."
"No I'm not."
"Good. The mating rites is in a few days," he stated the obvious and waited for her reaction. He was hoping for excitement, not the forlorn look that entered her eyes.
"Tell me about it," Shana thought to herself. As if she did not know that already. It was the only thing the press wanted to talk about. It was also the only thing that was buzzing around in the office and she was on the brink of breaking from all the unnecessary attention she was getting everywhere she went.
Just yesterday, she had been accosted by overzealous reporters flashing camera and pushing microphones into her face, asking her thousands of questions in a minute. Thank goodness Armando had appeared like a magician from nowhere and led her into the building. That did not mean she was spared from their nasty prints about how she managed to seduce the best bachelor in the city. Some had even been bold enough to call her a nobody gold digger.
If only she was here for the gold, it would make so much more sense than all the supernatural jargons the reporters could not begin to imagine.
As if that was not enough, Anderson Group staff were now either crawling on their belly to please her while another group always watched her with cold hunting eyes like they wanted to pull out a tooth or two. She later realized the friendly ones were the clueless humans who just wanted to be on the good part of the soon to be wife of the boss while the angry, aggressive ones were the wolves who did not want her in their midst. And that made sense.
Asher watched her as the emotions played over her features. Then he told her the real reason he had called her to his office.
"Shana?," he called her as he moved closer to hold her in his arms.
"Asher?," she said gently, her eyes glazing over as he placed his hands on the small of her back. How she missed his touch, his smell, his heat. She missed everything about him. Without any conscious thought about what she was doing, she rose to her toes and moved to kiss him like she had been wanting to since she saw him that morning.
Asher smiled to himself. It was good to know that although she was not looking the part of a happy, blushing bride, the sexual desire he had awakened in her was still there. For him, it was something.
But what he was about to do was going to make her spit at him instead of kissing him but he had to.
"You are fired, mate."