Chapter 38

Chapter 38
I can't help but look at the sky, that's illuminated by the full moon and the stars that never stop twinkling. I sigh. This is really it is. No pillow. This night will be a very very long night. Jiro invited me to the gazebo because he said he was going to tell me, though I am already sure what it is. I still went, did they all push me?
Jiro supported me until we reached the middle of the gazebo where the fountain is. There, I saw a lot of floating cans candles, which are different colors.
"Nice." I couldn't stop praising Jiro's effort and suddenly I forgot all my annoyance with him.
"I'm glad you like it Babe." He answered me. I smiled at him as he helped me sit on the edge of the fountain and then he sat in front of me.
We're staring at each other's eyes and for reasons I don't know, the familiar speed of my heart that I thought I could only feel with Kent suddenly returned.
He held my hand and if I hadn't thought quickly, I might have pulled myself away from him. I got an electric shock when our skins touched. What is going on with me?
"Babe."
"Jiro." I answered him almost in a whisper. I couldn't even hear my voice because my heart was beating so hard. Why am I so nervous? I already know what he will do, right? Why we are here. What will happen but is not gone yet the nervousness here in my chest.
"Babe, do you still remember how we first met?" And he smiled at me. I bit my bottom lip. My whole body is shaking and I don't know why.
He came even closer to me and then caressed my cheek. I closed my eyes at what he did. After a while I nodded and then I answered his question.
"It was lunchtime, my friends suddenly pulled me to the veranda behind our room.." I stopped at speaking and I swallowed several times.
I also clenched my hands so I wouldn't end up crying. I don't know why but it seems to be my fault. Why do I feel pain? Is there something unexpected going to happen?
"..then we went there, you were there too, you were sobbing and then.." I couldn't finish what I was going to say because Jiro suddenly hugged me and the next thing I knew I started crying. D. the! D. the! D. the! I don't get it why am I hurt? What's up?!
"Ssshh.. Babe, its okay I'm here. I'll never leave you." He told me. I don't seem to be able to.. I don't seem to be able to do what Kent wants to happen.
I'll accept his proposal but just now that I think that we will be engaged I feel hurt. It's really heartbreaking. I think I should tell him what I really feel.
"Jiro.." I loosened my hold on him, I wiped the tears from my eyes and then I met his gaze on me.
I calmed myself down, so that I could say what I should say to him.
"I need to tell you something.. something about me." He didn't speak and just kept staring at me. So, I took the chance and continued what I'm about to say.
"I don't want to be engaged with you." I didn't see any surprise on Jiro's face when I said that, instead he just smiled and wiped all the tears that kept on falling from my eyes.
"W-don't you even say anything?" The is already broken my voice and I could hardly finish what I was going to say because I was crying so much. He pressed our foreheads together.
"I know you're in love with someone else, Kylie." He calmly answered me. My heart ached. I do not know what to say. My tears are unstoppable.
"I'm.. I'm s-sorry. I'm sorry. S-sorry. S-sorry." Repeatedly said to him while I also did not stop crying. He shook his head and then gently touched his lips to mine, though that's just fast.
"Before, every time we kiss I can feel your endless love to me, I can also feel that you're ready to give everything to me. But I am sure I don't deserve everything. There is someone out there who deserves it more than me."
I cried even more, because I knew that what Jiro was telling me now was my own. But I'm just wondering why it seems like my force is pulling me back home now. I feel like it's happening as it should be stop because if not, I will lose my importance. Jiro's tears dripped down my nose and continued onto our hands.
"Babe, I know that you knew about Aria and me.." My heart beat faster because of what Jiro said. He broke away from the contact of our foreheads and he smiled at me very sadly.
"I know you won't believe me, if I say right now that I didn't really mean to hurt you. God, knows how much I hate myself, I even wanted to ask someone to punch me, every time I am seeing you in pain. If only.. if only I can transfer all the pain that you've felt because of my doings, I will. I'll do it. I won't think twice. I'll accept all the pain. Every time you caught me and Aria doing something that we shouldn't. Like, that kiss inside the chapel. Seeing her, just came out of my house and more. I want to hurt myself so bad. I never wanted to hurt you and make you cry."
I'm surprised. I don't know what to say. He knows I know everything but nothing he did. He didn't stop even though he knew I was hurting. Instead, he continued cheating on me with Aria.
Now, I wonder if he also knows that someone else got my v card because he made me broken and I am vulnerable at that time that I don't care about what will happen to me after that night.
"Jiro, there are so many women, why Aria?" After a while I asked him. I also stopped crying and there was no emotion in my voice. I can't feel anything anymore.
"Babe, if only I have a choice." He answered me. He tried to touch me but I pulled back.
"Don't touch me." I told him coldly. I stood up from him and then I looked straight into his eyes. All I can see on his eyes is pain, nothing more. Just pure bait.
"I don't want to be with you anymore." Emphasize if I told him. "I am breaking up with you Jiro Schinitchka." His tears fell, but I don't care. If it used to be here last scene that I would like if it happened to us now I don't care anymore.
All I want to happen right now, is to be with Kent.
I turned away from him and bit my bottom lip hard. I can even taste my own blood when I bite my lower lip. I am about to walk away when he speaks again.
"I know, who the other guy is, Kylie." I stopped just as I was walking but I didn't bother to look back at him instead I just waited he will say more next time.
"My lil bro, Kent." As soon as I heard Kent's name, my heart beat faster, and the butterflies in my stomach returned.
"I am not mad at him. I am even thankful to him, at least he made you happy and made you feel how to be loved at the same time. The things that I didn't have a chance to do with you, he did it for me. That's why, I am so proud of him. But Babe, I'm sorry.."
Why is he sorry? What does he mean?
"I'm sorry. I'm really sorry if Kent has to break your heart too." And I completely turned to Jiro.
"For sure, now.. the ceremony is done and the marriage contract is already done signing by him and.. Aria."