Chapter 20: Opening His Heart

Gwen turned to look at Finn, astonished.
He didn’t even look at her. His eyes were on the other man in front of her, and he didn’t seem pleased at all. In fact, he looked about to beat the man.
“Finn, that’s not necessary…” she whispered, trying to prevent such a harsh consequence. She didn’t want anyone to be fired because of her.
Finn ignored her completely. The IT guy seemed really surprised, but didn’t say anything. He simply left with his head down. Maybe he should’ve kept his thoughts for himself instead of spitting it all out in her face, she thought.
Gwen couldn’t pretend not to be grateful though. It felt really good to have Finn protecting her like that. For a moment, she almost forgot their history. It was like they were dating again. She liked when he acted like a protective boyfriend.
Finn turned his back to her and walked towards his office, not bothering to talk to her. Gwen squatted down to grab the documents and rushed to reach him.
Why was he treating her that way?
“Finn, can we talk?” she asked, already entering his office. He didn’t close the door, which she assumed was probably a sign that she could follow him. “I really appreciate you defending me, but I could've taken care of that myself. You didn’t need to fire the guy.”
“Yeah, you keep saying that, don’t you? I already understand that you can do everything by yourself. But I’m still the CEO of this company and I don’t want this kind of behavior here. So, is there anything else you want to talk about?” he asked turning to look at her, and Gwen was surprised by his tone.
He never really raised his voice to her before, but apparently he was very pissed with that situation. Gwen didn’t think he was angry with her, so it should be something else.
“Why are you being such a jerk? Just because I left the party with Cody? I thought we had gone through that already. And about the incident yesterday, Cody is feeling well now, so what’s the problem?”
Finn didn’t want to tell her that he was pissed with just the idea of her being out and meeting someone. When he saw her coming back to Stephanie's house with those clothes and make up on, smelling a bit like alcohol and cigarettes, he was sure that she was at some bar.
After he left, his mind started to play all kind of tricks, showing images of Gwen flirting, touching, and even kissing other men.
He spent the whole night having nightmares about that, which only made him grumpier that morning. The revelation of Cody’s birth had messed up his plans to get close to Gwen.
Not that he was complaining. He loved knowing that Cody was his son. He was also loving spend some time with him and to get to know the little boy better.
After all, Finn was not the type of man that didn’t think about having his own family. He always wanted to be a father. But not being able to fix things with Gwen was making him angry at himself lately.
“I'm not being a jerk. I’m just acting like a CEO. I needed to set an example for the others. You might think I’m not paying attention to what happens in my company, but I know everything. So you don’t need to worry about people insulting you because of me anymore,” he concluded, sitting in his desk and grabbing a cigarette.
Having her inside his office by herself made Finn want to do things he shouldn’t think of doing inside that building.
Gwen gulped before gathering the courage to continue. Her tongue was itching to talk about his smoking habit, but she couldn’t do that anymore. It wasn’t her place to scold him for that. Although…
“I hope you’re not smoking near Cody,” she commented, regretting right after. Finn looked about to murder her with his glance.
“I'm not as irresponsible as you may think. Maybe if you hadn’t left me five years ago, I wouldn’t have this stupid habit again.”
He exhaled the smoke and looked through the window. He didn’t want to see the disappointed look in her eyes.
A disturbing silence filled the place, but Gwen didn’t feel like leaving. Something was holding her there, pulling her towards him like a magnet. Even though Finn was being an a*s with her, she still didn’t want to leave him alone.
“Honestly, no matter how hard I think about why you left, nothing comes to my mind. You have no idea how many times I went through all the time we spent together just to understand what went wrong,” Finn started, still not looking at her.
That took Gwen by surprise. She would never imagine that Finn would start a sensitive conversation like that. But at the same time, she couldn’t pretend that she didn’t want to know what Finn went through when she left.
She suffered immensely back then, but she never heard what happened to him. For months, she kept wondering and asking herself if he would be feeling the same way as her. But she could never have that answer.
“I thought I deserved at least that, an explanation,” he continued, with his tone much more soft and calm. “Guess I was wrong.”
Gwen wanted to cry. She hated to see him that way. He looked so helpless. All she wanted to do was to get closer and hug him, comfort him. But that would only make things even harder.
“I was pregnant and afraid. I didn’t think of anything, I simply left,” she said, and her voice almost failed. She had to give him something, but the truth was out of question. So, to ease his mind, she would come up with a lie.
Finn turned to look at her. That didn’t help. It felt like a punch in her stomach to see him so hurt.
“I thought I could lose custody of Cody somehow, and I didn’t think you would be a good father to him. I was immature back then, and now I know that you’re an amazing father,” she tried to explain, knowing that he could feel insulted by her words.
And she was right, he did look offended.
“I… You were considered a playboy and we weren’t together for too long. I got scared,” she concluded, not wanting to say too much. If she came up with a lot of lies, it could be harder to maintain it in the future.
She looked into his eyes, and she could swear that they were wet, like he was about to cry. But he didn’t shed a single tear. He was probably too proud for that, she thought to herself.
“You were the only woman who ever made me feel like myself, that made me feel seen and desired for more than just my wealth. I’d do anything to have a family with you back then. But you didn’t think about me, did you?”
Gwen’s tears were now falling down her face. She didn’t think he would be so straightforward and confess his feelings for her. Those words hurt her like a knife piercing her heart.
“Now I see that not even my money was enough to make you stay. Can you imagine how that makes me feel, Gwen?”
She could. But her hands were tied. She couldn't say anything else.
But if he only knew…