Chapter 41: Ending Things

In the back of her mind, Gwen knew what she was doing was wrong, especially because she was more than sure that Marcy was watching her closely now.
But it was hard to avoid her feelings for Finn, mostly because every time they were together, he kept provoking her and making her feel things she didn’t want to feel.
“Finn, we can’t keep doing this,” she whispered, pushing him away slightly for a second. But he didn’t seem to be listening. He kept kissing her cheeks, lips and neck.
“I mean it,” she tried again.
Finn looked at her for a brief second, his eyes dark of lust.
“Gwen, you know you want the same thing as I do. I can feel it,” he stated, squeezing her waist. “Why can’t you just enjoy the moment?”
“Because… I can’t,” Gwen swallowed, holding in the words that she knew wouldn’t have any effect on him. He had told her not to mention his mother ever again, and that was definitely not the moment to do it. They were both drunk, and she wanted to focus on his body against hers, if only for a few moments longer.
Finn kissed her again, preventing her from speaking. He was tired of her making excuses for them not being together. He tried several times to get an answer from her, and when he finally did, he didn’t believe her. But seeing Gwen with Clyde stirred an emotion that he had never felt before.
Maybe it was the whisky, or maybe it was just his jealousy finally showing up completely. He didn’t enjoy the fact that Clyde was trying to woo Gwen before; that’s why he had shown up in the restaurant the other day.
But today, seeing how stunning Gwen was with a dress he was pretty sure Clyde had given to her, drove Finn to insanity. He just wanted to take it off her body and toss it away. It made him possessed to think that Clyde could do all the things Finn used to do to Gwen when they were together. He couldn’t stand it.
That’s why he didn’t care if everyone around would wonder what he was doing, he didn’t care that Clyde was almost kissing her and he would interrupt that moment; Finn just wanted to take her away from that man.
Now, his hands were going up and down her body, and he was about to explode with desire. He wanted to feel her, he wanted to take her in his arms like he used to do and make her moan his name over and over again.
Gwen had the power to make him lose control, lose reason. His heart physically hurt every time he had to say goodbye to her, every time he went to pick Cody and couldn't take her with them.
Now, more than ever, he wanted to have a real family. He wanted to provide for Gwen, take care of her, make her happy. Why was that so hard?
They pulled away from each other for a second to gasp for air, and Finn said what was on his mind the entire time.
“I love you,” he whispered, between their kiss, his breath still uneven.
Gwen widened her eyes in shock.
“What did you say?” she asked, trying to make sure she hadn’t misheard him.
Finn looked into her eyes, feeling his heart burn with adrenaline. He didn’t mean to say that out loud, he didn’t even know that the words had escaped him. He just realized it when he saw how startled she got.
“I love you, Gwen,” he repeated.
She kept looking at him, frozen, unable to react. She wanted to say she loved him too, more than anything, but she couldn’t. Suddenly, the memory of his mother walking into her living room, offering her a million dollars for her to disappear again, struck like a lightning, making Gwen shiver with fear.
She couldn’t let him walk down that path again. They had a son to raise together, and before they could come to an agreement about his mother - which she was sure it was never going to happen - she couldn’t allow herself to be with Finn.
Thinking that, Gwen put her hands on his chest and pushed him away even more, creating enough space between them for her to leave. And that’s what she did.
She didn’t reply, she didn’t look back, she simply left him there, alone, as she returned to the hall looking for Clyde.
There was something she had to do, and it had to be done at that moment. It couldn’t wait any longer. As she fought the tears that wanted to come out and tried to ease her heart from beating so fast, Gwen looked around the entire place, trying to find the man that had brought her to that event.
She shouldn’t have left his side in the first place, and when she realized that it was Finn who got her out of there, she should’ve come back.
Clyde would be feeling extremely sad and hurt. And it was all her fault.
It was clear to her that he wasn’t inside anymore. She even thought that he could have left without her. If that was the case, she wouldn’t blame him. He probably felt very embarrassed when Finn pulled her out of his arms in front of everyone.
But then, when she was close to giving up and deciding to call a cab to go home, she saw his figure outside, on the balcony.
Gathering courage to approach him, Gwen took a deep breath and putting one foot in front of the other, she went in his direction, ignoring every glance that people were shooting at her.
“Clyde,” she called as soon as she passed the glass door.
He was drinking his whisky, looking ahead, completely dazed. When he heard her voice, he turned to look at her, and Gwen felt her heart shrink with guilt.
“There you are. Is everything okay?” he asked, like nothing had happened.
Gwen looked down, ashamed.
“Yes, everything’s fine. Actually… It’s not fine,” she corrected herself, thinking that she had to say whatever she wanted now, otherwise she would give up and things could get worse. “I want to talk to you about something, but I want you to know that I don’t want to hurt you or your feelings.”
Clyde took another sip and kept looking at her.
“Go on,” he said.
“You know, I really tried to reciprocate your feelings, I wanted to like you the same way you like me, but I can’t. I have so many problems and unsolved things in my life, it’s not fair to bring you into this.”
She swallowed, feeling her hands shaking.
“What is that supposed to mean?” he asked, and for the first time, Gwen heard a different tone in his voice. He was not pleased.
“I don’t think I can accept your offer. I really appreciate it, but I can't work with you.”