Chapter 8: An Unpredictable Future

As soon as those words came out of Gwen’s mouth, she felt the regret taking over her body.
Finn was looking at her in shock. Of course that thought crossed his mind, but the idea was too absurd to consider for long. In the end, maybe he didn’t want to believe that she would do such a cruel thing to him.
He always wanted to be a father.
And now, Gwen had taken all those years away from him. He didn’t watch Cody be born, his first words, his first years of life…
How could she do that to him?
But at the same time, his heart was full of excitement to know that the little boy he saw the other day was his son. The resemblance was there, of course, but at the time, Finn was so eager to get close to Gwen again and just the thought itself of her being back, that he didn’t give it much attention. But now that he reflected about it, Cody did have his eyes. And his hair.
All sorts of emotions were taking over Finn’s heart, and he didn’t know which one was stronger.
He was happy to find out that he was a father, but he was infuriated that Gwen stole that from him for so many years. She had no right.
Gwen was now looking at him in despair, and he could tell that she was afraid. Ignoring the pain in his heart from seeing her so vulnerable and sad, Finn didn’t think before letting out the rage inside of him.
“How long were you going to keep that from me? Why did you do that? How could you be so cruel?” the words spilled from his mouth before he could get a handle on his emotions.
He was angry at her. He knew that his outburst could push her away for good, but at that moment, he didn’t care. He had all the right to feel upset. Betrayed even.
Gwen widened her eyes, shocked.
Maybe she wasn’t expecting that response from him.
“I didn’t have a choice,” she murmured.
“Yeah, you keep saying that, but it’s really hard to believe that when it comes from a woman who never played by the rules.”
“You shouldn’t say things about what you don’t underst-” she continued, but Finn’s rage made him interrupt her again.
“It was my son, Gwen! Do you have any idea of what you stole from me? I couldn’t watch him grow. I missed the most exciting parts of his life.”
Gwen choked on her words. Her tears were now coming down her cheeks without hesitation. She was hurt. But not because he was being harsh on her. She knew he was right.
But Finn didn’t know that she was also desperate back then, so how could he say those things to her without knowing the whole picture?
He had no idea of the true facts, but she couldn’t tell him either.
At the same time, she knew he was right. She had prevented him from seeing Cody grow. She also made their son grow up without a father.
She didn’t know what was worse.
“I honestly can’t believe that you could do something like that without a reason. So please, just tell me. I promise I’ll try to understand.” Finn begged, coming closer to her.
Gwen took a few steps back. She didn’t need him making her feel worse. She didn’t need to feel more confused than she already was.
“I can’t. Not now. Not… Maybe someday, alright?” she replied after a few seconds of consideration.
She couldn’t tell Finn the whole truth, but maybe someday she could give him a plausible explanation to make him feel better about himself.
It wouldn’t matter if she was the one who suffered.
She was pretty good at that anyway, so…
“Please, I just want to go home. I… Can we talk about that later?” she suggested, feeling a massive headache all of a sudden.
The mess had been made. She had to think about what to do next. But that shower of questions coming at her like arrows wasn’t going to help her think. Nor Finn’s eyes on her. It was too much to handle.
All she wanted now was to go back home and give Cody a hug. Because suddenly, their future had now turned into a blank space yet to be filled with new plans and dreams. She knew things were not going to be the same after her confession. All she could do was hope that Finn wouldn’t take their son away from her.
And just that thought scared her more than anything in the world. Because the only good thing she had in her life was now a question mark.
“Fine,” he agreed, and she could almost let out a sigh. “I'll take you home. Come on.”
As they walked towards the car, Gwen could feel that Finn was doing his best not to say anything else.
But his pain was almost visible, almost touchable, which only made her feel worst.
If only he knew why she had to leave… But she couldn’t tell him.
It wasn’t going to do him any good.
“Thank you,” she whispered as his car stopped in front of Stephanie’s house.
But before she had the chance to get up and leave, Finn grabbed her hand, as his last attempt to convince her that night.
“You know I won’t forget this, right? I’ll look for you so we can talk. For real this time,” he concluded, releasing her hand as she nodded in agreement.