THIRTY -FOUR.

CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR - Reese .


“Day ninety-two,” I said whilst I ticked by the calendar as I stared at my pale reflection in the mirror, my colorless face, red-eye and chapped lips.

I reached out to the toilet seat again as I threw up the mac and cheese I ate earlier today. I haven't had anything solid as food for the past two months, I had been feeding on mint-flavored ice cream and cranberries. I was scared and feeling all sorts of emotions at once. I couldn't believe I was going to be a mom at twenty-four. The feeling was strange, a combination of excitement and me being nervous. I placed my hands on my already protruding tummy. I could already feel the development of my little bean.

Was this how I was carried? Maybe I didn't stress my mother this much, maybe that was why she never cared. I sighed, I reached out to stroke my belly gently again.

What if this baby came out as a girl and met the same fate I had?

I decided to stop having negative thoughts, I pulled out my chest drawer and picked up the drugs my gynecologist prescribed before directing me to a midwife. I sighed for the tenth time this morning and it was barely seven am.

I scooped the pills into my mouth, while I used my spare hands to cover my nose as I gulped. It has been me against myself for two months now, I left Manhattan without my boss's twenty million dollars but at least I left with something else—my baby and sanity.

It has been two weeks since I started my appointment with the midwife. Mrs Lucinda has been nothing but nice and caring towards me, she was more of a therapist to me. I complained about my headache, morning sickness and body pain. And also how restless I was about this whole incident. She then advised me to clear up my mind and make peace with everyone around me to avoid miscarriage due to stress and high blood pressure and also avoid postpartum depression I thought deeply about it and I knew I had to start with my parents, their twenty-fifth wedding anniversary was coming soon and mom sent me an invite already saying it was going to be a ‘family thing.’

I have been standing for at least ten minutes from my father's pouch now. It leads to the main door which leads to my parent's grand visitors' room. I stood transfixed, unaware of what to say to them when I finally rang the bell. I tucked my wool sweater down, it did nothing to hide my baby bump but still, it was the only comfy clothes I still had. I ignored the butterflies in my stomach as I pressed the welcome button, I heard it ring through the house and flip flop with a steady rhythm kiss the floor in a posh mannerism. Then the door flew open.

“Hey.” I waved awkwardly at my mom, whose jaw was on the floor as she stared hard at my baby .

“Hi Reese , do come in darling.” She grimaced as she opened the door widely, one of her hands pulling me into an awkward hug where we both didn't know whether to rub cheeks or rest head on shoulder. It was awkward till my father came in

“Reese dear, welcome. How was your trip” he asked

I walked inside, into the house that held too many painful memories for me. A photo of me was still hung on the wall. It was taken when I was five. We were on a trip to Disney when we took that picture.

I made myself comfortable on the leather couch, my parents still lived their expensive lives and here I was—a soon to be mother running away from the father of her child.

I was pathetic.

“So, welcome home Reese , your father and I are happy to see you.” My mother beamed. I smiled politely, I was not used to so much attention from them, so I didn't know what to say or what to do. My hands subconsciously rubbed my baby bump and my parent's eyes followed. I knew they had thousands of questions, I had too but I would answer their questions, hopefully, and maybe truthfully.

“So, for how long have you been back to Chicago?” My father tried to start a conversation.

“For a few weeks now.” I frowned, my mood was already distorting from being nervous to being mad.

“So, I can see you are doubled, and no ring on your finger, what's going on?” my mother dared to ask. And that was all it took for my emotions to go insane.

“Because you both invited me to this dinner, do you think it gave you both the right to ask questions about me?” I snapped in anger, making them wince. My dad tried to say something but was cut off by my mom

“We realized we weren't good parents to you while growing up, and we want to make up for our mistakes. Darling please. . .” she cried, her eyes moist with pain but far too gone to give damnation.

“Wow, so it took you both twenty whole years to find out about that? I thought you two were smarter than that. Where were you when uncle David abused me? Where was this care when I had to give myself out to men just so I could feel in control of them? Where was this love when I needed money so bad that I had to sign an insane contract with my boss, and it led me to a pregnancy he knows nothing about? Where were you mom, dad!?” I asked them, my head pounding from yelling too much while I cried my eyes out. I cried for myself, for the love I yearned for, for every pain I have been through, for my unborn baby. I have a tiny wish to keep her in my belly forever to protect her from the cruelty of this world.

“We are so sorry Reese , we know what we've done is not forgivable but please try to let us in and help you. Your pains are ours now, let's share them with you. You are pregnant, it's not good to be mad this way, please. ” my father pleaded.

I sat on the floor together with my mom as we ball our eyes out, while my father kept passing us enough kleenex. “I'm hungry,” I blurted.

“Looks like my granddaughter needs some food” My mom laughed as she wiped her face clean, her red cheek was still obvious tho

“And I have the perfect steak for her.” my father grinned.

I smiled at a new beginning, maybe my coming to Chicago wouldn't be that bad after all.

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