FIFTY-ONE.

CHAPTER FIFTY -ONE — Luther.





If one had said that I would be standing on my feet today, I would have yelled to whoever it was how much of a liar they were. Alot happened for the main days I had spent in the hospital with my daughter but I was sad too. Sad that I couldn't save my baby, it felt somewhat like my fault, like I was to blame for every misfortune that had happened to me that very day of my accident. A Lot of 'what ifs' only came across my mind. It was a miracle that I was able to birth Lennie, she became a part of me ever since I found out she was born. I was glad I had a support system at least—people I could count on, I couldn't believe this but Luther was among them.

Luther had planned a family trip for us to go to. He said it was a resort and had also rented a private island in Greece, it was just me, Luther and Lennie. We needed to be far away from where we were. I was satisfied that I was able to consider our trip but we needed Lennie to fully recover in the hospital before we got prepared. We had to wait for over a month to sort ourselves out for the trip and I was glad we were going today.

Things have been going well and going smoothly which made me anxious for some reason. I didn't know why everything that went well bothered me. My mind went back to Petra and my uncle, whatever made them not to strike for now made me nervous about my safety. I wanted to mother my child and it terrified me the more I knew that this man would do anything to see me hurt or dead.

“Hey.” A voice brought me out of my thoughts, I flinched a bit at the familiar voice. I replaced my worries quickly with a little smile

“Ready for our trip?” I asked as I turned to him.

“Since day one.” He smiled sheepishly, his gaze averting to Lennie who slept peacefully in the carrycot.

I had packed all of the luggage two nights ago with Regina who stopped by to check-in. I wouldn't be anything if not for Regina, she has been my backbone ever since we met. I got the luggage ready, Luther offered to help carry the box of luggage whilst I carried Lennie. Soon, we reached the airport and I didn't expect to see so many paparazzi. They all rushed towards where Luther and I walked, I almost panicked because I was afraid they were going to suffocate Lennie. One had yelled for Samuel's name but Samuel's bodyguards were able to guide us through the private jet. Luther held my hand tightly. I knew whenever he did that, he was trying to calm down. I was becoming a nervous wreck already. Shortly after the paparazzi encounter at the airport, we had settled into the private jet already.

We were welcomed by the airhostess in the plane, the pilot announced a welcome statement and informed us all to prepare for take-off. A flight attendant also announced the precautions we must use like buckling a seat belt before the flight took off. Lennie began crying with her tiny hands in the air whilst her mouth quivered, knowing that she was probably hungry, I unbuttoned my maroon shirt and brought out my breast for her to suck. She grabbed my breast immediately with her little fingers, I winced in pain as her nails dug into my breast. She latched quickly on my nipples and stopped wailing. It was obvious she was having the moment of her life.

“What?” My eyes shifted to Luther who sat beside me, staring and grinning from ear to ear.

“Nothing, only admiring the beautiful work of God.” I knew he was trying to flirt with me, whatever made him think I could pardon whatever he made me go through must have had his head tied in stupidity.

“I assume you are talking about the atmosphere.” I spoke ironically.

He chuckled at what I said. “They are in front of me.”

“Whatever...” I rolled my eyes at him then turned my gaze to Lennie who was almost dozing off with my nipples still in her mouth. I winced again at the pain that rushed through me after I felt Lennie took a biteful of my nipples.

Sometimes it made me hate motherhood. I didn't like that I had no idea of what to do sometimes. I had lost a baby and now I didn't know where my stance was, I was in the middle of grieving a dead baby I never got to set my eyes on. Most times when I breastfed Lennie it hurt to think her twin wasn't here too. Everyone did not bother talking about my dead child but for some reason, I wanted them to bring it up. To ask me how I felt about the death. It wasn't easy moving on, a part of me couldn't help it. Yes, I was happy I still had Lennie but I lost a part of me too, I have grown into loving the bond I shared with them during my pregnancy, things weren't easy too.

“Listen... I have been the worst boss and asshole ever. I can't make up excuses for that but now that we have Lennie together, I want you to let me in. I need you to trust me. I want to be a good father to our daughter.” I heard him say.

I rocked Lennie gently from side to side who made little cries, not saying a word even when I felt his eyes on me. “I am not shutting you out. I just don't think I can trust you, I can't get myself to because I am trying.”

“I understand... a lot happened.” his tone sounded sardonic.

“I need time, this will not be about our relationship but how we can be parents to Lennie.”

He nodded in agreement. I looked away and saw that Lennie was already asleep with my nipples still in her mouth. I withdrew my breast from her mouth gently in order to avoid her waking up to cry. Luckily, she hasn't been the child who troubled me with her cries, she only cries whenever she is hungry. Luther brought out his arms to have Lennie and I handed her over to him. I fixed my breast back into the shirt I wore.

I was glad Lennie was away from me for a while, I haven't been able to get some sleep ever since I got discharged from the hospital. I was always restless and my head pounded most of the time, I constantly had to use the drugs prescribed to me by the doctor. I was grateful for the little time I had for myself now, I didn't know when I slept off from where I sat.

“Miss Quinn.” I felt a hand tap me lightly on the shoulder. I jolted from my sleep only to meet with Samuel, I breathed out a sigh of relief from seeing him.

“Are we there already?” I asked.

“No, not yet. We have nine more hours left,” He said, which made me groan. “You can't sleep here, come to the bed.” He offered, I didn't want to argue with him so I followed suit. The room on this private jet wasn't exciting to me anymore, it wasn't new that everything about Luther screamed extravaganza and luxury but at the same time, everything in the room managed to look minimalistic.

I was a bit drowsy and tired, I stretched my limbs a bit and smothered a yawn. “Should we have to sleep together?” I asked.

“Let's not start this now, you look tired. Get some rest.”

I couldn't win an argument with him neither was it worth starting one with him, not that it would do anything for me. I nodded slowly and slept beside Lennie. Shortly after laying on the bed, I felt another weight on the bed, of course I knew who it was. We were going to sleep on the same bed and being beside him made my heart pound—my heart was racing which made my breath come quickly. I heard him sigh loudly but I did not want him to be aware that I was still awake, feeling his breath brush through the back of my neck took root in my heart.

I couldn't hold it anymore, I turned to him—our eyes meeting with each other. I was a fool to have trusted this man but somehow, I can't help it. Things weren't supposed to turn out this way but I missed him. I hated that I did!

“Why aren't you sleeping?” I heard him whisper to my ear. I shot my eyes tightly for a minute and was grateful that the darkness didn't make my facial expression obvious to him.

“Nothing.”

“You are hilarious.” He whispered again.

“Why are we whispering?”

“Because, Lennie...”

“I understand.” He replied.

“Okay.”

“You know... I have been thinking.”

“What?” I asked, then he came closer.

“You are extremely close.” I voiced.

“I want to kiss you, can I?”

“What? This is childish!”

“I miss you, tell me you don't.” His hot breath fanned my earlobe, he bit on it softly which caused me to moan.

“Fuck!”