Chapter 20

-Did you give Portia her medication? - James asked, surprisingly calm.

-Yes.

She was surprised, he had reacted too well. Maybe he was just trying to be more peaceful in the face of such problems.

James sighed. Luna quickly looked at him, already expecting a million words that she was sure he'd been holding back since they left the house.

- You should sue him. -he said in almost a whisper.

-I don't think so.

James looked at her incredulously. His jaw tightened.

-Are you crazy? It's harassment, Luna. Not appropriate at all!

-I know, it's just...it'll pass, it's just....

-Years, dear, it's been years since we left school, will it go away - he said looking at her threateningly.

Luna looked at him incredulously. James had opened his mouth. "Since we got out of school."

-We got out? From school?

James snorted.

-Let's put the lies behind us. You and I both know this isn't the first time we've met. Get over it. I didn't mention anything out of pure professionalism. -He replied angrily.

-Why didn't you mention it before?

-I have. -He said as he frowned. He was angry.

-James, I don't want you to be angry. I know it's not appropriate what Samuel is doing, and that maybe I should have reported him months ago, but...I won't do it.

James slowed down.

-Why? Do you like it when he constantly bother you? - he asked quickly.

-What? No, it's not that, it's just that...

-Someday that asshole will be able to lay a hand on you, Luna. He's an asshole, he doesn't think. Don't you think I don't remember how abusive he was before? The idiot doesn't remember me, otherwise I assure you he'd remember the beating we gave him. I assure you!

Luna looked straight ahead. She did remember that.

- Because of Rosie?

-No - he shouted in exasperation. She put her arms on the bowling pin and leaned her head on them.

-I don't know what you're thinking, I can't read your mind. - she said and turned to look at Portia, who was distracted by the fogged glass.

- Nothing. I've never been able to stand Samuel...that much at least, you know? -he asked agitated.

-Yes.

-Good. -He sighed. I'm tired of trying to be a calm person just because you're by my side. - Luna looked at him confused - These months have become something different for me. I've tried to control everything, you don't know me. God...Luna, you don't know anything about everything that's going on. I'm not sure I can get through this. These past few months have been different, I've tried to adjust to everything Portia needs, and it's actually been good. She needed it, I needed it and I've realized how much I'm missing to be enough for her but, you have no idea how different everything is. Usually, usually my temper gets the better of me and it's bad, Luna, it's not a stupid excuse to defend some shitty behavior I just think you need to know that I'm...bad.

-I don't think you're mean, James. Everyone has a character, yours is a little different from a good one, but it's not that you're bad. - she said and tried to get a look from him.

-I am. I've lost things that maybe I'm missing now... I've lost the most important person I had. And you know what? I've never cried over her death.

James looked up.

-Don't say anything. -He said coldly. The sentimental James was gone, like a bolt of lightning.

-I lost someone important, too - Luna said, ducking her head. James turned to look at her quickly - And I cried a lot. Crying does you good, it brings out all the sadness in fine drops - her voice cracked - And it's hard, when you have no one to support you.

James looked at her intently. Now he really didn't know what to say.

-I used to look at you, you know - Luna said, and he was surprised by his confession.

- Luna, I...

-I used to look at you every day. In the corner of the cafeteria, at the exit .... I did. I didn't understand why you looked so lonely all the time, especially considering the amount of people around you. I thought you were an idiot, I'm glad to know you're not really. -she said, smiling slightly. James was serious.

-I, Luna, at that time....

-Don't try to say anything, James. It's over.

James shook his head. Had she shushed him? Oh, well...that meant he'd have to get over it.

-Well, I don't want to talk about it anymore. - He started the van.

Portia stayed in total silence.

They drove out of the park quietly. He wasn't sure if he wanted to go on the ride, but Portia had been looking forward to going out. So, he should do it.

They arrived at Peter's house. James quickly got out of the truck, and put Portia down. Luna hadn't formulated words after the talk, and that made him feel bad.

A large house loomed in front of them. Prominent in architecture, it sprawled across the huge lot surrounded by a neat garden. He had inherited it from his father.

James knocked on the door when a tall man opened it for them.

It was Peter.

-James, good to see you. - He gave her a fake smile. Luna did the same. It was nothing personal, maybe the conversation they'd had had left something strange in the air.